jokes Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kawhi Leonard Is 11½ Inches
News 4 San Antonio is really, really excited about the size of Kawhi Leonard's hands. So much so that they put together this graphic comparing him to the newsroom, without bothering to specify what they're talking about....
99¢ Store Now 75¢ Store In Honor Of LeBron, Because, You Know. That Pesky Fourth Quarter.
Getting old? Getting old. But not just yet! (Let us have the rest of the week, tops.) A Houston-area bargain store is creatively slashing prices, so you can thank LeBron James for savings on off-brand candy and possibly used dinnerware....
This Video Suggests That David Kahn Was Just Trying To Make A Funny
Yes, last night David Kahn broke the funny rule that jokes that are even vaguely about kids with terrible diseases and/or widows are never really funny, but the actual tone of the remarks he made last night — which have since given rise to conspiracy theories, a load of criticism, a Twitter trend,...
Jameer Nelson Did Not Use His Free Nosebleed Seats For The Hawks-Bulls Game Last Night
Back in April, the Chicago Bulls held off the Magic 102-99 after a Jameer Nelson three-pointer came too late. Nelson congratulated Bulls guard Derrick Rose with a promise to "catch you in the second round" of the playoffs (video of the exchange is above; the mixing is not our doing) during Rose's ...
Watch A Frat-Boy Flyers Fan Flip The Fuck Out On His Bros
Brah here goes to Penn State. When he went out to study for a "very important test," Brah's bros covered his bed with, per the summary of whomever posted this video, "hundreds of plastic solo cups." Dude....
Spurs Spank Young Boys 4-0
(Although one of The Spoiler's favourite was a piece of subtle brilliance from Sky Sports' Bill Leslie: "Young Boys struggle to keep clean sheets.")...
Gene Simmons Kept His Love Gun In Holster With ESPN Makeup Gal, Suit Claims
Yes, they call him Dr. Love, but he didn't want to meet this ESPN makeup artist, Victoria Jackson, in the Ladies Room. It's Hotter Than Hell, in there. The Firehouse, though? That's fine....
<em>The New Yorker</em> Makes Highbrow Blogger-In-Basement Joke You'll Set Aside But Never Get Around To Reading (UPDATE)
Ben McGrath takes up the slumming-dandy-goes-to-a-ballgame mantle from Roger Angell (who should be filing his account of the 2003 World Series any day now) and manages not only to name-check this humble site but let drop the bonnest of mots:...
Let's Get All The Tiger Woods' "Masters Threesome" Jokes Out of the Way Now
USA Today's unavoidable weekend poll question: Who is best suited to play in Tiger's threesome at the Masters? "For pure theater, why not make Y.E. Yang part of the threesome?" Why not, indeed! [Thanks to Chris S.]...
Monday Night Football Makes Brett Favre Horny
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Chris Bosh And Friend Sweet Talk The Ladies Via T-Shirt
It's not every day you run into something this unusual and outrageous on the streets of Toronto. Oh, look ... Chris Bosh is there too....
Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...
Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!...
WNBA Star Busted Driving Under The Influence
The Mercury's Diana Taurasi was cited Thursday night in Phoenix, a few hours after her team's win over the Seattle Lone Professional Basketball Franchises....
Mazel Tov, Omri Casspi
Casspi was selected with the 23rd pick in the Draft last night, which, in David Stern's mind, completely validates the NBA's entire push for globalization. Shalom, chaver. If Casspi — a 6-foot-9 small forward who had some success in the Euroleague — makes the NBA, he will be the first Israeli and se...
"The Scott Walker Story" May Need A Different Ending
After he cold-cocked Aaron Ward and scored the series-winning overtime goal against them, Bruins fans probably wished the Hurricanes' Scott Walker would get cancer. Unfortunately for everyone, his wife beat him to it....
Matt Vasgersian Speaks!: Not A Racist, Just A Terrible Comedian
"I'm an idiot...Save the racial stuff which is just flat out wrong, almost all of what has been posted on my regrettably horrific timing is spot on...Nobody feels worse about it than I do." [KSK]...
Matt Vasgersian Continues To Have Trouble With Live Television
Brad Hawpe was carted off the field last night after being hit hard with an errant pick-off throw. It was scary moment, made more awkward by Matt Vasgersian's subtle, yet poorly executed brand of "humor."...
Josh Levin's Fascination With Rick Reilly's Tooth Jokes Is Oddly Captivating
When I initially took over this site there was a lot of discussion amongst former and current editors about doing a weekly feature devoted entirely to Rick Reilly's ESPN column. It would be too easy to just pick apart its contents FJM-style (R.I.P), but given his hubris, his enormous contract, and t...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls..."Men With Balls" Is Here
It is with great pleasure and genuine enthusiasm that I get to point out to you, fair dick joke-friendly Deadspin readership, that the debut novel of not-so-young Drew Magary is ready and available for your consumption. Marvel at his use of creative profanity and his ability to talk about other spor...