jonathan-papelbon Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Jonathan Papelbon Subjected His Teammates To Terrible Pro-Trump Music
If there’s one thing you can say about Jonathan Papelbon, the ass-faced former Nationals closer who moves through life like an angry 14-year-old with a boner, it’s that he is always exactly who you expect him to be....
Jonathan Papelbon, Jamoke, Blows It
The Washington Nationals were up 6-4 in Kansas City headed into the ninth. Tanner Roark gave them 7 1/3 solid innings, and everyone but Bryce Harper got a hit. They had a great chance to beat NBA center-sized pitcher Chris Young, but then Jonathan Papelbon, the maddest Jonathan in baseball, gave up ...
Jonathan Papelbon Is Now "Johnny Jonathan"
Nationals reliever Jonathan Papelbon has acquired a new nickname: Johnny Jonathan. MASN reporter Dan Kolko unintentionally created the moniker by making a smooth transition from the studio to the field....
Jonathan Papelbon Is Back With The Nationals, And Not Choking Anyone (Yet)
After Nationals closer Jonathan Papelbon choked out his teammate Bryce Harper in the team’s dugout during a game last September, it seemed certain that he wouldn’t be on the team in 2016. And yet, despite putting his hands around the Nationals’ best player, Papelbon’s still on the roster and part of...
Report: Jonathan Papelbon Files Grievance Against Nationals Over Suspension
If there’s one thing you can say for Jonathan Papelbon, it’s that he just does not give a shit about potentially making things awkward at his workplace....
This Is The Worst Of The Bad Opinions On Bryce Harper, But Only So Far
This teaser tweet is insane enough:...
Nationals Suspend Jonathan Papelbon For Choking Out Their Best Player
Since MLB isn’t equipped to punish a player choking out his own teammate in the dugout, the Nationals gave a four-game suspension to fuming goblin Jonathan Papelbon for attacking Bryce Harper during Sunday’s game....
Nation Demands Pro-Jonathan Papelbon Takes; Fox Sports Provides Them
The trouble with a story like yesterday’s Bryce Harper-Jonathan Papelbon fight in the Nationals dugout is that it does not contain much—any—ambiguity. It is unambiguously wonderful, that oh-God-this-is-so-fucking-stupid kind of wonderful, and also Jonathan Papelbon unambiguously is a belligerent too...
Enjoy The Matt Williams Farce While You Still Can
It is a testament to the Washington Nationals’ dysfunction that the dugout fight between Jonathan Papelbon and Bryce Harper almost made sense compared to everything that came after. A team’s for-hire closer trying to choke the league MVP is one thing, but it’s absolutely inexplicable that manager Ma...
Jonathan Papelbon And Bryce Harper Brawl In Nationals Dugout
The Nationals are really deteriorating as their season comes to an end. They somehow have a winning record, but the dugout has gotten downright toxic. Just this week, Papelbon plunked Manny Machado then Bryce Harper called him out for it. Today, tensions boiled over and the two got into a fight in t...
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
The Nationals Are Kind Of Boning Drew Storen
The Washington Nationals just made a trade that should help fix their biggest weakness—the back end of the bullpen—by bringing in Jonathan Papelbon to be the new closer. Papelbon will take the job from current closer Drew Storen, who will slide into a set-up role and give the Nats a great 1-2 punch ...
Jonathan Papelbon Talks Horses And Dick-Sucking Holes
Whenever the Red Sox and Phillies play, someone sticks a recorder in Jonathan Papelbon’s face and uses his thoughts on both teams as an angle to get through the series. (Shane Victorino just isn’t as brash.) Before Wednesday’s game, the Phillies closer was direct to the Boston Globe about his conne...
Papelboned: Dong Grab Earns Phillies Closer Seven-Game Ban
MLB announced tonight that Jonathan Papelbon will be suspended seven games for grabbing his penis toward booing Phillies fans, which is a sentence I consider it a privilege to have been able to write....
Jonathan Papelbon Ejected For Grabbing Crotch At Booing Phillies Fans
Phillies reliever Jonathan Papelbon has never been a crowd favorite in Philadelphia, and when fans at Citizens Bank Park booed him off the field for blowing a three-run ninth inning lead to the Marlins he recognized their display by grabbing his dick....
Jonathan Papelbon Continues To Endear Himself To Phillies Fans
Much like the Mariners, the Phillies also brought in the wrong pitcher last night. Unlike the Mariners, this one wasn't an accident; Jonathan Papelbon's the closer....
Jonathan Papelbon Says Blow Up The Phillies
The Phillies are done, the rest of their season rendered cosmetic, and their high-priced closer, never one to mince words, is getting a little frustrated. Jonathan Papelbon, after pitching a meaningless inning in Philly's embarrassing 12-4 loss just to get some work: "I definitely didn't come here f...