jones Page 70 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fat Chipper Jones Is Throwing A Horrible Super Bowl Party
You will recall that a grown man who called himself "Chipper" used to play third base for the Atlanta Braves. You will recall, too, that he is fat and dates a Playboy model. He also has a Twitter feed. And an upcoming Super Bowl party. What a Super Bowl party it is....
Cowboys Brass Had No Idea Josh Brent Would Be On The Sidelines
Josh Brent was drunk when he flipped his car, killing teammate and friend Jerry Brown. So it created a little mental dissonance to see him on the sidelines at Cowboys Stadium just a week later, cheering on Dallas during their win over Pittsburgh. Now it comes out that owner Jerry Jones and head coac...
Back In 1995, <em>The Simpsons</em> Visited <em>The NFL On Fox</em>, And Homer Took A Shot At Jerry Jones
This only came to my attention yesterday, and—as I'm a Simpsons fan and something of a sports enthusiast—I figured that if I hadn't seen it, most people likely hadn't. In 1995, the Simpsons did what has to be the best promo for the NFL on Fox—for any pre-game show—ever. It's not quite vintage, unt...
Tommy Tuberville Is Going To Cincinnati Even Though There Will Hardly Be A Big East To Greet Him When He Gets There
Tommy Tuberville is going to fill Butch Jones's old ass groove at Cincinnati. Three years ago, coming off of a decade of success at SEC-powerhouse Auburn, going to a Big East team, even a strong Big East team, would have seemed crazy. Now, after three middling years at Big 12 Texas Tech, the most re...
"Dese Coaches Run A Train On Arkansas State": A Player Ponders Gus Malzahn's Departure
We're almost reluctant to out a certain Don Jones II as a master of Twitter, because we all know that s̶t̶u̶d̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ athletes who exhibit true voice on social media scare the thin liquid shits out of university athletics officials. But what the hell....
Fat Chipper Jones Has Divorced His Wife And Is Now Dating <em>Playboy</em> Model Taylor Higgins, AKA Lexi Ray
Leave it to those sleuths of scuzz over at Busted Coverage to make a find like this. Chipper Jones has retired, finalized his divorce from his second wife, and now appears to be dating Taylor Higgins, better known to the world as Lexi Ray or Lexi Ray Taylor, depending on when you might have been loo...
Jerry Jones Scratching His Nuts: Eagles-Cowboys, And Much Of Modern Culture, In One GIF
Dallas 38, Philadelphia 33: Peering down from the suite at the top of his shiny monument to excess, billionaire oil plutocrat Jerry Jones, insensitive to the fact that he might be on national television at that very moment, scratched his nuts, probably, or adjusted himself in some way. Awesome. Imp...
Alabama Barely Beats Georgia For SEC Title, Right To Demolish Irish In National Title Game
Your national title game will be SEC semifinal champion Alabama against Notre Dame, which in a just alternate universe just got piss-pounded by Ohio State in the Big Ten title game and ceded its title game slot to Florida. In this universe, though, Notre Dame spent the afternoon licking its chops as...
White House Petition Will Probably Not Lead To The Removal Of Jerry Jones
Here's an unbylined story on the Dallas Morning News's website, about one of those stupid petitions on Whitehouse.gov. This one calls for President Obama to remove Jerry Jones as owner of the Cowboys....
Where Were You When Virgil Discovered The Virgilbag?
The Virgilbag, our regular collection of readers' encounters with pro wrestlers, is on indefinite hiatus. (It might return if you send in your stories.) It is not a collection of Virgil stories, though each one does contain a tale of the former WWF and WCW jobber, plying his trade at conventions and...
Chipper Jones Has His Own Theories On JFK's Assassination
The recently retired Chipper Jones is an entertaining force on Twitter. Wednesday night, while watching Oliver Stone's JFK on Reelz (really, Chipper? Reelz?), Chipper decided to get the truth out about what really happened in the assassination of JFK. Wake the people up, Chipper!...
Most Boring NFL Team Inspires Most Boring NFL Headline
"Jaguars sign another Greg Jones." This means that half the Greg Joneses to ever play in the NFL on are on the Jacksonville roster right now. They also kind of look like each other, right? Is that racist?...
Jerry Jones Spoke To Reporters In Front Of A Big Naked Cowboy Ass
Jerry Jones likes to do his media scrum in the middle of the Cowboys' locker room—That's why he was so furious last week when he was locked out. But things went better yesterday, both on the field (a 38-23 win in Philadelphia) and with the press. Except for that little matter of an unidentified pl...
No, It Was Definitely A Good Idea To Cancel The New York City Marathon
Last night, ESPN The Magazine's Chris Jones wrote a column arguing that this past weekend's New York City Marathon should not have been canceled, despite the fallout from Hurricane Sandy....
Perry Jones III Loves Pizza Rolls
Oklahoma City Thunder rookie Perry Jones III loves pizza rolls. Our source for this? Perry Jones III....
Jerry Jones Was Locked Out Of The Cowboys' Locker Room
The Cowboys lost last night, but that's not good enough to sate the bloodlust of fans who want them to lose spectacularly, or painfully, because Dallas used to be good 15 years ago. Tony Romo didn't cooperate, failing to turn the ball over even once, let alone at a crucial moment late in the game. L...
Did Mike Trout Lose The Gold Glove Because His Corner Outfielders Were Too Good?
The Gold Gloves were handed out this week, and without Derek Jeter as a finalist, we were prepared for a controversy-free awards. We were wrong. Mike Trout, the statistical darling who’s totally going to lose the MVP to Miguel Cabrera, couldn’t even get named his league’s best center fielder, losing...
The Dallas Cowboys Sent Out A Mailer To Season-Ticket Holders Instructing Them On How To Cheer
Jerry Jones built the $1,300,000,000 Cowboys Stadium in 2009 expecting it to house champions, boost his team, and become the eighth wonder of the world. It is kind of the last one—largest domed stadium in the world, with the fourth largest HD video screen in the world hanging from the ceiling—but th...
Cincinnati Head Coach Butch Jones Iced Louisville's Kicker At The Exact Wrong Time, And The Bearcats Lost Because Of It
The football coach's obsession with icing the opposing team's kicker before important field goals embodies the two primary dispositions innate to football coaches: performative micromanaging and ignoring statistics. Last night, Cincinnati's Butch Jones indulged those compulsions at the worst possi...
Deadspin NBA Shit List: Dahntay Jones, Your Asshole Teammate
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....