jones Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly Mistakes Event In Satirical Article For Real Thing
One would assume that a professional sports writer would be able to discern satire from actual reporting, especially when said satire involves LeBron James punching Juwan Howard's walking cane. Well, today Rick Reilly proved that such an assumption is a dangerous one to make. Today Reilly published ...

UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Had Two Female Passengers When He Drunkenly Crashed His $250,000 Bentley
These days, when someone famous crashes their ride, we shouldn't assume we're going to get anything close to resembling the real story when initial details are released. It certainly happened with ex-Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino, and it appears to be happening with UFC light heavyweight cha...

The Jets Taunted Tebow By Screaming "Lolo! Lolo!" When He Walked Into The Locker Room Today
Animate Michelangelos Tim Tebow, the Jets' backup, and Lolo Jones, the Team USA hurdler, have a lot in common. Well, maybe not. They're both pretty, muscular virgins. I think that's it....
![UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Arrested For DUI, Wrecks His Bentley [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17n4v61e21lmtjpg.jpg)
UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Arrested For DUI, Wrecks His Bentley [UPDATED]
According to the dogged sleuths at TMZ, Jon Jones was involved in a single car accident around 5 this morning when he wrapped his Bentley around a pole in Binghamton, N.Y. He was reportedly arrested on the scene for driving under the influence and taken into custody. He was bailed out a few hours l...

Apparently, Popeye Jones's Son Is One Hell Of A Hockey Player
Seth Jones of Plano, Texas, is a 6-foot-3, 201-pound defenseman and quite possibly the best young American-born hockey player in the country. He was the captain of the USA Under-18 team that recently won gold at the World Championships in the Czech Republic. He's also the only player on that team wh...

Adam Jones Reaches For Home Run, Gets Glove Stuck In Wall
Brandon Snyder's three-run homer in the sixth helped the Rangers blow open last night's 11-run win against the Orioles. Adam Jones had no chance to keep the ball in the park, but he certainly tried his best. The wall at Camden Yards, however, had much less appreciation for his effort....

Andruw Jones Used A Rangers Fan As His Outfield Toss Warmup Partner Tonight
Yankees outfielder (and former Ranger) Andruw Jones had some fun with a Texas fan tonight before the bottom of the ninth inning of New York's 7-4 win. We don't know if Jones angered or somehow otherwise lost his normal warmup partner or if he took a fan at his word to throw the ball back, but we ...

"Fake Ass White Boys:" A Brief History Of MMA Trash Talk In Advance Of UFC 145
After a year of injury-related cancellations, Jon Jones and Rashad Evans will finally fight tonight at UFC 145. The two best light heavies in the world were once teammates but they now hate each other with a passion that comes only from personal betrayal. I know, I know. You hear that whenever a fig...

Kentucky Declares For NBA Draft
UK's entire starting five—freshmen Anthony Davis, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and Marquis Teague, and sophomores Doron Lamb and Terrence Jones—announced they'll be leaving Lexington after a national championship. They'll be joined by senior Darius Miller, so John Calipari—as proud as he is of his one-an...

James Jones Flopped, And It Sent Jeff Van Gundy On An Apoplectic Rant
ESPN basketball analyst Jeff Van Gundy has gone on rants about flopping before, but today's (sparked by a third-quarter dive by James Jones in the Heat-Knicks matchup) is one for the ages. Play-by-play man Mike Breen tries his hardest to get Van Gundy off the topic, but fails—JVG even runs over t...

It's Good That The NFL Is Punishing Washington And Dallas For Breaking No Rules
I'm glad, gosh darn it, that NFL owners voted 29-0 to enforce salary cap penalties against the Redskins and Cowboys for spending a lot of money in the uncapped 2010 season. It's a good thing that the league is coming down hard, $36 million for DC and $10 million for Dallas, on two of the most powerf...

Ashley Judd Stole A Kentucky Player's Phone Last Night, Sent Handwritten Note In Apology
Did you know that Ashley Judd was a Kentucky superfan? I bet you didn't. It's kept fairly under wraps by everyone involved. So, you may not have known that Ashley was allowed in the locker room following Kentucky's 87-71 thumping in Iowa St. yesterday. Judd was so excited she apparently swiped Terr...

Nicolas Cage, Dying (And Humping January Jones) Before Our Very Eyes
We have reached the point where the release of a new Nicolas Cage movie is less fodder for humor than it is an indignity upon everyone involved with its making. It is odd, actually, that movies like Seeking Justice, which will slink across 250 screens today, less a movie release than a walk of shame...

Fat Chipper Jones May Or May Not Be Fat, But He Reportedly "Looks Terrible"
The good news is that Chipper Jones is officially seven pounds lighter than his 2011 playing weight. Now comes the rest of the news. His knee hurts. He's hitless in eight at-bats and has missed five games this spring. A scout told Jon Heyman of CBS Sports he "looks terrible" and that he seems to be ...

In The Name Of Competitive Balance, The NFL Plays The Bully And The Tyrant
The NFL is a dictatorship masquerading as a benevolent dictatorship. In redistributing $46 million in salary cap space from the Redskins and Cowboys to the rest of the league, the NFL is enforcing laws that don't exist, playing Robin Hood with blackmail, and generally continuing a tradition of arbit...

Fat Chipper Jones Says He's Not Fat
Everybody's getting in on the fun of calling Chipper Jones a fat ass. Per The Sporting News, manager Fredi Gonzalez stood around the batting cages at the Braves' spring training facility this morning and puffed his cheeks to make himself look like a fat dude. When no one on the team noticed, Gonzale...

Bobby Jenks Is Not Fat Anymore
Chipper Jones might be fat. You know who is not fat? Red Sox reliever Bobby Jenks is not fat. The photo at right illustrated a Boston Globe story in January about Jenks's back surgery. He won't be ready in time for the first few games of spring training, but he will be newly svelte when he gets ther...
![Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17eautbeqg0m8jpg.jpg)
Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]
A few readers have pointed us to the Twitter account of David O'Brien, who covers the Braves for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. O'Brien disputes the notion that Chipper's being a heavy presence at spring training. Yesterday, O'Brien tweeted the above photo to make his case, saying it was taken j...

Chipper Jones Is Fat
Larry Wayne Jones is going to be 40 in April, and he's about to begin his 19th season with the Braves. Jones says 2012 won't be his last in baseball, but it will be the final year of his guaranteed contract, for which he's scheduled to be paid $14 million. Jones made the NL All-Star team last year, ...

As Cop-Kicker Mugshots Go, This One's Sadly Artistic
"Medena Jones, while driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, reportedly hit a parked car and drove away at about 1:50 p.m., according to Manassas police Sgt. Eddie Rivera. Police found Jones driving her car, reportedly intoxicated ... soon afterward. Jones apparently kicked two police officers while a...