jones Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Adam Jones Reaches For Home Run, Gets Glove Stuck In Wall
Brandon Snyder's three-run homer in the sixth helped the Rangers blow open last night's 11-run win against the Orioles. Adam Jones had no chance to keep the ball in the park, but he certainly tried his best. The wall at Camden Yards, however, had much less appreciation for his effort....

Andruw Jones Used A Rangers Fan As His Outfield Toss Warmup Partner Tonight
Yankees outfielder (and former Ranger) Andruw Jones had some fun with a Texas fan tonight before the bottom of the ninth inning of New York's 7-4 win. We don't know if Jones angered or somehow otherwise lost his normal warmup partner or if he took a fan at his word to throw the ball back, but we ...

"Fake Ass White Boys:" A Brief History Of MMA Trash Talk In Advance Of UFC 145
After a year of injury-related cancellations, Jon Jones and Rashad Evans will finally fight tonight at UFC 145. The two best light heavies in the world were once teammates but they now hate each other with a passion that comes only from personal betrayal. I know, I know. You hear that whenever a fig...

Kentucky Declares For NBA Draft
UK's entire starting five—freshmen Anthony Davis, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and Marquis Teague, and sophomores Doron Lamb and Terrence Jones—announced they'll be leaving Lexington after a national championship. They'll be joined by senior Darius Miller, so John Calipari—as proud as he is of his one-an...

James Jones Flopped, And It Sent Jeff Van Gundy On An Apoplectic Rant
ESPN basketball analyst Jeff Van Gundy has gone on rants about flopping before, but today's (sparked by a third-quarter dive by James Jones in the Heat-Knicks matchup) is one for the ages. Play-by-play man Mike Breen tries his hardest to get Van Gundy off the topic, but fails—JVG even runs over t...

It's Good That The NFL Is Punishing Washington And Dallas For Breaking No Rules
I'm glad, gosh darn it, that NFL owners voted 29-0 to enforce salary cap penalties against the Redskins and Cowboys for spending a lot of money in the uncapped 2010 season. It's a good thing that the league is coming down hard, $36 million for DC and $10 million for Dallas, on two of the most powerf...

Ashley Judd Stole A Kentucky Player's Phone Last Night, Sent Handwritten Note In Apology
Did you know that Ashley Judd was a Kentucky superfan? I bet you didn't. It's kept fairly under wraps by everyone involved. So, you may not have known that Ashley was allowed in the locker room following Kentucky's 87-71 thumping in Iowa St. yesterday. Judd was so excited she apparently swiped Terr...

Nicolas Cage, Dying (And Humping January Jones) Before Our Very Eyes
We have reached the point where the release of a new Nicolas Cage movie is less fodder for humor than it is an indignity upon everyone involved with its making. It is odd, actually, that movies like Seeking Justice, which will slink across 250 screens today, less a movie release than a walk of shame...

Fat Chipper Jones May Or May Not Be Fat, But He Reportedly "Looks Terrible"
The good news is that Chipper Jones is officially seven pounds lighter than his 2011 playing weight. Now comes the rest of the news. His knee hurts. He's hitless in eight at-bats and has missed five games this spring. A scout told Jon Heyman of CBS Sports he "looks terrible" and that he seems to be ...

In The Name Of Competitive Balance, The NFL Plays The Bully And The Tyrant
The NFL is a dictatorship masquerading as a benevolent dictatorship. In redistributing $46 million in salary cap space from the Redskins and Cowboys to the rest of the league, the NFL is enforcing laws that don't exist, playing Robin Hood with blackmail, and generally continuing a tradition of arbit...

Fat Chipper Jones Says He's Not Fat
Everybody's getting in on the fun of calling Chipper Jones a fat ass. Per The Sporting News, manager Fredi Gonzalez stood around the batting cages at the Braves' spring training facility this morning and puffed his cheeks to make himself look like a fat dude. When no one on the team noticed, Gonzale...

Bobby Jenks Is Not Fat Anymore
Chipper Jones might be fat. You know who is not fat? Red Sox reliever Bobby Jenks is not fat. The photo at right illustrated a Boston Globe story in January about Jenks's back surgery. He won't be ready in time for the first few games of spring training, but he will be newly svelte when he gets ther...
![Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17eautbeqg0m8jpg.jpg)
Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]
A few readers have pointed us to the Twitter account of David O'Brien, who covers the Braves for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. O'Brien disputes the notion that Chipper's being a heavy presence at spring training. Yesterday, O'Brien tweeted the above photo to make his case, saying it was taken j...

Chipper Jones Is Fat
Larry Wayne Jones is going to be 40 in April, and he's about to begin his 19th season with the Braves. Jones says 2012 won't be his last in baseball, but it will be the final year of his guaranteed contract, for which he's scheduled to be paid $14 million. Jones made the NL All-Star team last year, ...

As Cop-Kicker Mugshots Go, This One's Sadly Artistic
"Medena Jones, while driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, reportedly hit a parked car and drove away at about 1:50 p.m., according to Manassas police Sgt. Eddie Rivera. Police found Jones driving her car, reportedly intoxicated ... soon afterward. Jones apparently kicked two police officers while a...

It's Been Almost A Year Since His Last Sentence, So Pacman Jones Naturally Got Another Year Of Probation For Something Unrelated
It's not like Pacman Jones is a real symbol of oppression in America. He's made several million dollars in his career to play cornerback in the NFL, and not all that well. (To wit.)...

A.J. Daulerio Is The Devil, And The Devil Is A Persuader
We're roasting our former editor A.J. Daulerio, who has moved across the room to edit Gawker, a paperless Hamptons travel magazine. If you have an A.J. story to share, or if you would like to participate in some other way, please email [email protected]. Lightly sourced slander is welcome. Our gue...

Jerry Jones Repeatedly Insists That Tony Romo Was The Fourth-Best Quarterback In The NFL This Year
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: sometimes numbers don't tell the whole story....

No, <em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Columnist Was Not Comparing The Marlins' New Stadium Deal To The 1989 Massacre Of 14 Women In Montreal
You probably know Chris Jones from Esquire, Grantland, or his busy Twitter feed, but it's his column in ESPN: The Magazine that has ticked off legions of his countrymen. Jones, like the angry mob needlessly chasing him online yesterday, is Canadian....

Authorities Won't Say Why This Bengals Cheerleader Is Under Investigation, But We Have An Idea
Today's edition of "Ohio or Florida?" features an NFL cheerleader/high school English teacher who may have had an inappropriate relationship with a student. Spoiler: It's Ohio....