jones Page 76 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....

Watch Andruw Jones Get Hit With A Bunch Of Onion Rings
Sweet justice for all those Braves and Dodgers fans who watched Jones pork up while on big contracts. And Jones says, "Sweet justice? I wanted sweet relish!" Twins win, 5-4, in extras, after Rafael Soriano and co. offered the first of many delightful late-inning implosions to come this season. [Vi...

What's Really Special About This Picture Is That Chipper Jones May Have Signed A 7-Inch Sperm Replica
The first weekend of baseball season wouldn't be complete without an "Atlanta Braves Chipper Jones Sperm Autograph" available to the highest bidder. As of 11 a.m., there were zero takers on the starting bid of $1. Fine, it's not authenticated, but this is still shocking when you consider that there...

Richmond Fought The Good Fight Against Kansas Until The Game Started
Your morning roundup for March 26, when James Corley of Conroe, Texas mulls the misfortune of not stopping after his 15th DUI conviction. Now, he'll have 99 years to practice counting to 1,030....

UFC 128: A Hero Is Made And Dollars Are Born
NEWARK — Newark is as close as the UFC can get to New York City, but it's still too far. In the week leading up to the light heavyweight championship bout between Jon "Bones" Jones and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua on Saturday night, the UFC welcomed fans to Radio City Music Hall, paraded a painted Chuck Li...

The Man Born Without A Right Leg Is America's Best 125-Pound Wrestler
Your morning roundup for March 20, the day Haitian frustrations still have a Fugee in hand pain....

Here's How God Helped The NCAA Totally Screw Baylor Off The Tournament Bubble
Earlier this week, the New York Times ran a story about Baylor freshman forward Perry Jones III. Detailing his eighth-grade verbal commitment — "[H]e never wavered, even as coaches from more-traditional college-basketball powers, including Kansas and U.C.L.A., sent letters to his home" — it painted...

Don King Embroiled In Knockdown Court Battle With Puerto Rican Taco Stand
Having tired of fighting Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis in court, Don King has set his sights on a new opponent – Delia Esquilín-Mendoza, the owner of a taco shop in Puerto Rico. On March 1 2003, Delia's Tacos intercepted a closed-circuit transmission of the Roy Jones Jr.- Jon Ruiz fight and deprived K...

Pacman Jones Wears A Neck Brace To Court, Has His "Life In Order," Gets A Year Probation
Your morning roundup for Feb. 25, the day you can feel safer because the Army may have used mind-control ops to persuade U.S. Senators to throw more war-bucks and war-flesh their way....

James Earl Jones Does Justin Bieber
It's the karaoke precisely no one was waiting for, but now that it's here, we couldn't be more thrilled. Enjoy James Earl Jones's rendition of "Baby," in a proper context....

Real American Fans Shut Out Of Real American Event Do Real American Thing And Sue
Somehow two silly displaced Super Bowl ticketholders and their eager lawyers managed to devise a lawsuit just as profoundly stupid as Dan Snyder's. They're seeking more than $5 million from the NFL, the Cowboys, and Jerry Jones personally. Why?...

Here's Video Of Last Night's One-Punch NHL Goalie Fight
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Novitzky Scalps
Barry Bonds: Charged with four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for telling a federal grand jury he never knowingly used steroids. The substance he's accused of taking, The Clear, was neither illegal nor specifically banned by baseball at the time of his testimony. Trial is ...

Gingerbread Peyton Manning Has Reese's Cup Football, Frosting Dong
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Victorious MMA Fighter Repeatedly Pukes His Guts Out
Come for the initial spew. Stay for the second round that nearly soaks the poor bastard cleaning up the first puddle. [POSSIBLY NSFW: THIS VIDEO IS GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE]...

Here's Video Of Carl Pelini Getting Handsy With A TexAgs.com Photographer
The controversy over Nebraska defensive coordinator Carl Pelini pushing TexAgs.com co-owner Brandon Jones after Saturday's game is reaching a fevered pitch. We covered this yesterday, but new video has surfaced that's pretty conclusive proof Pelini pushed Jones....

Remember The Time Peyton Manning Helped Chris Hanson Catch A Predator?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jerry Jones In Vegas Is Pretty Much What You'd Expect
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Next Time Cowboys Fire A Coach Mid-Season, They Will Likely Check Domain Name
Because someone failed to re-register the domain name, the Dallas Cowboys website disappeared from the interwebs on a big day for Cowboys-related news, and site visitors instead saw a screen like this. The marketing office must be in between interns....

Wade Phillips Fired As Cowboys Coach
After weeks of saying no one would be fired until January, Jerry Jones was noticeably silent on guarantees yesterday. Today, Wade Phillips is out; Jason Garrett is in. The 'Boys are still 1-7....