jose-mourinho Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
José Mourinho Banned, Sued, And Is Reportedly About To Be Sacked
So Chelsea fans, do you want the bad news, the awful news, or the terrible news first?...
José Mourinho Continues To Lose, Then Give Great Postgame Interviews
Chelsea lost at home today, as they’ve been doing all season, and José Mourinho gave some performatively defiant comments about his tenuous job status, as he’s been doing all season. Chelsea’s season from hell got worse as they let Liverpool come back and beat them 3-1 on a pair of tremendous Coutin...
José Mourinho Caught Apparently Shoving A Kid Trying To Sneak A Selfie
It’s not been the best couple months for Chelsea boss José Mourinho. We already knew that his shockingly poor start to the season and the pressure that has come with it was beginning to fracture the man’s sanity. Now he’s out here in the streets of London, pushing teens who just want a picture....
José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record
Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season thr...
Chelsea Players Starting To Rebel Against José Mourinho
It was inevitable that Chelsea’s astoundingly poor performances and results so far this season would lead to some level of internal strife inside the club. We now have confirmation of this, with sources in the team describing a rift between the players and José Mourinho to two different papers....
Diego Costa And José Mourinho Are The Shitheads We Need
The more you think about it the more inevitable it seems that José Mourinho—the ne plus ultra of managerial shit-talking, barb-throwing, and incessant needling of rivals—and Diego Costa—his dispositional equivalent on the field, only with elbows substituted for verbal barbs as his projectile of choi...
We Are Enjoying The Hell Out Of This Chelsea Collapse
Four points from five matches! Making Steven Naismith look like Neymar! Already as many Ls this season as in all of last year! The worst defense in the whole league! One result away from the goddamn relegation zone! We can’t get enough!...
Everton Whomp Chelsea Behind Steven Naismith Hat Trick
Nine minutes into Everton’s match against Chelsea, Muhamed Besic had to leave because of a hamstring injury. Normally, losing a starter less than ten minutes into the game is a bad thing. But not on this day. On this day Steven Naismith replaced Besic, and promptly did this: ...
Chelsea Shit The Bed Against Crystal Palace
For just the second time in 100 games under José Mourinho, Chelsea have lost at Stamford Bridge. We are just four weeks into the EPL season yet Chelsea already trail Manchester City by eight points after today’s 2-1 defeat to Crystal Palace. ...
Here's José Mourinho's Bullshit Excuse For Why He Demoted His Team Doctor
Earlier this week, José Mourinho demoted Chelsea’s long-serving team doctor, days after he publicly showed her up during a game last weekend. He’s rightly come in for criticism for the decision, so now “sources close” to him have concocted an excuse for the change: the players didn’t feel comfortabl...
José Mourinho Demotes Team Doctor After Blowing Up Her Spot On Pitch
Eva Carneiro, the long-serving Chelsea first team doctor, has been a staple of the team’s matches over the years, rushing out onto the pitch as the first responder to any and all of their injuries. It’s very likely that one such attempt to treat a player on the field last weekend will be her last, h...
Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea
Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could ma...
José Mourinho Has No Use For This Loser's Medal, Or For Arsène Wenger
Arsenal beat Chelsea 1-0 today to win their second straight Community Shield, and it appears Chelsea manager José Mourinho has about as much use for the match as the rest of us. Here he is avoiding congratulating rival manager Arsène Wenger and then throwing his second-place medal up into the crowd....
José Mourinho Is Shitting On Managers Again, Which Means Soccer's Back!
We’ve seen preseason play and preseason brawls, and now that José Mourinho has broken out the ol’ charcoal grill and laid on a couple thick slabs of Arsène Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini tenderloin, the aroma of preseason beef means the Premier League season is just around the corner....
José Mourinho Burns Premier League Rivals In Funny Award Speech
Nobody does smug satisfaction better than this guy. Even if this was obviously written by someone else, it’s that textbook José Mourinho delivery that makes it all worthwhile....
José Mourinho Gets Philosophical In Rant Directed At Haters In The Media
“The world is a bit strange. Maybe because of diets, and maybe because of the quality of produce we are eating, I think memories are getting shorter,” José Mourinho begins his wild, metaphysical ride that somehow ends with him basically calling certain members of the media jealous cowards....
José Mourinho Comes Up With Novel Way To Criticize Poor Refereeing
José Mourinho was pretty unhappy with referee Martin Atkinson in Chelsea's draw with relegation threatened Burnley, feeling that there were multiple uncalled penalties for Chelsea, and that Nemanja Matic was sent off unjustly. Not wanting a fine, he restrained himself from blasting the decisions d...
Nobody Wants Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must've thought that his two-year loan move away from Chelsea—where, instead of repaying his outrageous transfer fee with a highlight reel of goals, he became more well known for his comical, almost unbelievable ability to miss unmissable shots—to AC Milan would be the perfect opport...
Chelsea And Spain Are Locked In A Dumb War Neither Can Win
Even by the standards of dick-measuring contests, the one ongoing between Chelsea and the Spanish national team has been awful for months. At some point, though, this sort of thing stops being merely dumb and threatens to become actually harmful to the players each side should be trying to protect—a...
The Assassination Of Iker Casillas By The Coward José Mourinho
Real Madrid handily beat Barcelona this weekend, with adulation bestowed upon many of the individual victors for their performance. Isco proved his grit and talent in fighting for a spot on a team lousy with great attacking midfielders and excelling when given the chance. James Rodríguez showed why ...