josef-martinez - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The continuing adventures of Angel Hernandez, Leo Messi is doing that thing again, and charter flights in women’s sports rears its ugly headIf you haven’t been following the touring artist exhibition that is Angel Hernandez attempting to call balls and strikes, or simply trying to disprove the utility of rules and conventions in society at all, in various Major League parks this summer, you’re missing one of the truly great examples of ...

Oh, damn, MLS started this weekendPart of it was due to still being on vacation, and the other part was my general obliviousness. But I only realized at the last minute that MLS started its season this weekend, about 12 minutes after the last one ended with NYCFC’s manager in his undies in the rain in Portland, thanks to having to w...

Gabriel Heinze is just as big of a penis as you rememberThe lesson for MLS coaches the past couple of weeks is that trying to show your authority by freezing out a star player only ends with your head in the guillotine’s receptacle. Gabriel Heinze was the latest to learn that yesterday....

MLS is back, and I’m really going to try this time

MLS returns this weekend, and unlike most of the big soccer leagues in the world, it can do so in front of some fans. We won’t hear the sheer wall of noise we would usually get in Seattle, Portland, Atlanta, and Orlando, or in more and more places these days, just yet. But it will be a relief to hea...

Josef Martínez Adds Two More MLS Scoring Records To His Growing Collection

Atlanta United forward Josef Martínez can’t stop breaking records. Last season, the 26-year-old Venezuelan shattered the MLS single-season scoring record with 31 goals, four more than the previous record of 27. On Sunday, he added two more records to his collection with this towering header against ...

Josef Martínez's Hideous Penalty Kick Run-Up Ends In Humiliation

The reward for Josef Martínez’s frankly insane penalty kick routine is an unreadable technique that makes it easy to best keepers from the spot, as evidenced by the Atlanta United forward’s 14-for-16 penalty record in MLS. The risk is that it makes him look like a huge weirdo and sets him up for rid...

Josef Martínez Dribbled Two Houston Dynamo Players Into An Early Grave

Josef Martínez is Atlanta United’s do-everything striker, was the best player in MLS last year, and has been the hottest player in the league over the last two months. The 26-year-old Venezuelan has scored 11 goals in his last seven games, including two against the Houston Dynamo on Wednesday night ...

Atlanta United's MLS Cup Victory Ends Michael Parkhurst's Agonizing Championship Drought

The city of Atlanta has a championship for the first time since 1995 thanks to the efforts of second-year MLS franchise Atlanta United. In front of an MLS Cup-record crowd of 73,019, United defeated the Portland Timbers 2-0 to bring their immaculate sophomore season to a close. ...