justice Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Weak-Ass Bureaucrats To Heroic Philly Citizens: Stop Turning Dumpsters Into Swimming Pools
The wise and proud residents of Cedar Street in Philadelphia, Penn. recently threw themselves a block party. Understanding that the party would be greatly improved by the presence of a swimming pool, they participated in the great American tradition of doing whatever the hell you want. Which is to s...
Politician Who Cooked Up Horrid Braves Stadium Deal Gets Voted Out Of Office
As chairman of Cobb County, Tim Lee helped oversee the deal that put Cobb County taxpayers on the hook for almost half a billion dollars to finance the Braves’ new stadium. Not only has the new traffic nightmare of a ball park depleted the county’s public parks fund and ushered in a new wave of sini...
Congresswoman Behind Evil Minor League Baseball Wage Depression Bill Changes Her Mind
Cheri Bustos, one of the two members of the House of Representatives behind the “Save America’s Pastime Act”, has pivoted and withdrawn support from her own terrible bill....
L.A. Galaxy Require Cheap, Fake Goal To Beat Fifth-Division Beer League Team
“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?...
Justice Is Real: The Arizona Dong Teen Will Go Free
Earlier this week, 19-year-old Hunter Osborn, a senior at Red Mountain High School, had a felony charge and 69 misdemeanor counts of indecent exposure brought against him for stupidly exposing his dong in the football team’s yearbook picture. While we don’t endorse the specific action Osborn took, t...
High School Football Player Hit With Felony Charge And 69 Counts Of Indecent Exposure For Yearbook Dong-Pic Prank
High school is a time for immaturity, revelry, and doing dumb pranks with your friends. Sometimes these pranks are good and funny, like the one these Ohio teens who fake-delivered a baby on court at a basketball game pulled. Sometimes they’re vicious and mean. Sometimes they’re just stupid, which br...
Report: Swiss Authorities Raid Same Hotel As Last Time, Arrest More FIFA Officials (UPDATED)
Remember six months ago, when Swiss authorities raided a luxury hotel in Zurich to arrest a number of FIFA officials, on behalf of the U.S. Justice Department? Luckily for those of us who want to see the incompetent and corrupt world soccer organization brought to its knees, it’s happening again!...
Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA
According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money launder...
High-Speed Chase Ends With Civilians Dishing Out Street Justice
Police got into a high-speed pursuit with a robbery suspect in Dallas today, and the chase ended when the suspect slammed into a line of cars at a stop light. That's when he was apprehended not by police officers, but by a road-raging couple who were not about to let some asshole just get away with ...
Mischievous Lil' Pandas Refuse To Take Their Medicine
This is what happened when a zoo keeper in China—who has some pretty dope boots, by the way—tried to feed some medicine to two of the young pandas being held in the zoo. Dude's plan was to squirt the medicine into their mouths with a syringe; the pandas' plan was to fight this jabroni and get him th...
Girls Basketball Players Suspended For Flashing Shocker In Team Picture
A few members of a high school girls basketball team from Farmington, Ill., thought it would be funny to slyly flash the shocker in their team picture. As you can see above, it was indeed funny, but the school administration didn't seem to think so, and the girls were suspended....
This Courtroom Sketch Of Guy Fieri Is Just Delightful
Somebody stole Guy Fieri's car and then (allegedly) attempted to murder someone. Guy had to testify in court. Someone else had to draw a picture of it. And now the horror of murder (and the lesser horror of auto theft) has been mitigated ever so slightly, by the most wonderful illustration of all ti...
Boxing Referee Dishes Out Street Justice On Unruly Fighter
This occurred at, no joke, an event called White Collar Fight Club. I don't know what the hell White Collar Fight Club is, but I do know that its referees don't take shit from anyone....
Marathon Runner Steals Mickey Mouse Doll From Child, Is A Huge Jerk
The bond between a child and his favorite toy is a sacred one that should not be taken lightly. Just ask Arman Moodliar, who had his favorite Mickey Mouse doll stolen from him by a heartless marathon runner....
Bullying Dickhead Gets Knocked Out At South By Southwest
Keep your eyes on the guy in the grey shirt on the left side of the frame. He's just hanging out, watching afro guy strut around and slap people like a prick. He does not like what he sees....
Watch Ray Lewis Yell About Weapons After The Ravens Beat The Broncos
Here's Ray Lewis's response to Solomon Wilcots's first post-game question after the Ravens beat the Broncos in double overtime. He's quoting Isaiah 54:17, which in the New King James Version reads:...
Ballhawk Zack Hample Was Kicked Out Of Nationals Park Last Night, And He Is Pissed About It
We've met Zack Hample before, and we haven't exactly been kind to him. That's because Hample is a ballhawk—a member of that fraternity of obsessive dudes who hang around ballparks and trample babies whenever Omar Infante flips a baseball into the stands. Nevertheless, Zack reached out to us this mo...
Michigan Costumed Vigilante Arrested Following Trailer Park Brawl
Where to begin? Let's start with the Michigan Protectors. The self proclaimed "costumed activists" work to set up neighborhood watches and are part of an online community known as "Real Life Super Heroes." Just so we're all on the same page though, these people do not have super powers, despite wha...
Pint-Sized NAIA Guard Devastates College Dunk Contest
The college basketball dunk contest is one of those things that airs on ESPN or one of its affiliates some unusual day at some unusual hour. (Apparently it was last night, circa 8 p.m., and naturally we're late to it.) But it probably shouldn't be, given what five-foot-nine James Justice of NAIA M...
Nicolas Cage, Dying (And Humping January Jones) Before Our Very Eyes
We have reached the point where the release of a new Nicolas Cage movie is less fodder for humor than it is an indignity upon everyone involved with its making. It is odd, actually, that movies like Seeking Justice, which will slink across 250 screens today, less a movie release than a walk of shame...