k Page 4161 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Kaman And Clippers Ready For World Domination
Little known fact: Clippers center Chris Kaman is not, in fact, actually hurt: That lump on his shoulder is just a normal byproduct of reaching the 25th year of life on his home planet. It's kind of like a birthing pouch, actually; in nine months, a being resembling a cross between Nicko McBrain a...

Kobe Bryant, Talking Head
We'd suggest tuning in for the NBA on TNT tomorrow night: It's going to turn into a text messaging frenzy!...

Dolphins Not Liable For Future Damages, So You Know
We don't mean to imply that the Miami Dolphins are covering their tailfeathers a bit with Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, whom they just signed to a free agent contract, but here's what was included in the official press release about the signing....

Somehow ... The Series Is TIED?
As we wait for Mark Cuban to sleep off what is almost certainly an enormous (and well-earned) hangover, we turn our morning attentions to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. (No offense to the Mavericks, of course; we are one step closer to the sublime possibility of David Stern handing the ...

Hey, These Playoffs Are Getting Kind Of Fun
If you're one of those cynical souls who doesn't take Rasheed Wallace's word as gospel, we should be in for quite an intriguing evening of basketball. In the first game, we get to find out if this will be a forgettable early chapter in LeBron James' playoff career or if becomes something unique, spe...

A Lovely Way To Spend Mother's Day
Todd Munson is a Deadspin reader who lives in Los Angeles and — like all good sons — went home to see his mother yesterday, in Omaha, Neb. When he was walking down Dodge Street, the main Omaha drag, he noticed the word "WHORE" on a sign hanging from the pedestrian bridge just above....

Mike Tyson Wants It That Way
Honestly ... where would any of us be without Mike Tyson?****...

Sutcliffe Tries To Solve That Thing
USA Today's Michael Heistand has the scoop this morning: ESPN's Rick Sutcliffe has been suspended from calling tonight's Red Sox-Orioles game....

Michael, Magic, And Charles Want To Own Your Team
Magic Johnson is envisioning a plan where he, Michael Jordan, and Charles Barkley would combine to own and run an NBA franchise. I don't know how good that team would actually be, but I don't think there would be any question about which team's owners would be having the most fun in the luxury box...

Hey, Larry Brown Drama In The Offseason. Go Figure.
And so it begins. Reports are popping up that the Knicks are considering buying out head coach Larry Brown's contract for something in the neighborhood of $40 million. That would mean that Larry Brown made somewhere between $40 million and $50 million to coach the Knicks for exactly one year. Some...

Givin' It Up For The Moms
I just wanted to take a second and wish a Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there who are moms, who have moms, or just try to pick up moms at youth soccer games. Take the time today to sit down with mom, watch the Nets/Heat game, point at Shaquille O'Neal, and remind mom how lucky she is that s...

Wife-Swapping And Game Fixing
Some clever guys at "The Beast," a satirical newspaper in Buffalo, made some truly legendary prank phone calls to the mayors of both Ottawa and Buffalo as the Sabres and Senators go head-to-head in the NHL playoffs. They ended up propositioning the wife of Buffalo mayor Byron Brown, and then getti...

Onterrio, Canada
Having been released by the Minnesota Vikings, and suspended until at least October, running back Onterrio Smith is heading to the Canadian Football League, where the laws about fake penises are much more relaxed....

Justin Gatlin Can Haul
By no stretch of the imagination could I be considered a fan of track and field. Sure, every four years, I'll pay it some mind, but other than that, it's a little off the radar. But when a man breaks the world record by running 100 meters in 9.76 seconds, well, that'll grab your attention. Americ...

Week In Deadspin: "George Clooney! You Been Readin' About All That?"
• Rick Sutcliffe makes Harry Caray proud. • First we brought you Chris Berman poetry, and then we introduced you to the T-shirt that will change your life. • Rasslin' for Jesus. • The view from the Churchill Downs infield. • Lord, these guys are awesome. • O.J. Simpson is keeping himself busy. • T...

The Week In Photos
Photos to delight and amaze you, tripped over while perusing the blogosphere ......

The Closer: How Griffey Got His Groove Back
Notes from a day in baseball:...

And Here's Your Rick Sutcliffe Video
We asked for it, and you provided it: The complete video of Rick Sutcliffe's drunken meltdown on the Padres' telecast Wednesday night. Whoever posted the video was kind enough, in the middle of the video, to give us closeups of the announcers' faces, particularly play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian, wh...

Rick Sutcliffe ... Bombed!
Earlier today, we wondered why Bill Murray was hanging out in San Diego while his Cubs were in San Francisco. We now have our answer: He was getting blasted with Rick Sutcliffe....

One Very Expensive Post
We're off to a very Mark Cuban morning around here. As you might have heard, the Mavericks owner was fined $200,000 by the NBA for running onto the court to protest the refereeing last week and, more to the point, a blog entry he wrote suggesting a new way to select playoff officials....