k Page 4168 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hug It Out, Yankees; You're In The Playoffs
OK, who looked more lifelike: Castro in his latest speech; bin Laden in his last taped address; or George Steinbrenner during Wednesday's Yankees game? They dusted off the long-dead owner, propped him up in a luxury box and had him "watch" New York clinch a playoff berth on Wednesday, the Yankees be...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while feeding your pet squid ... • MLB: The AL playoff field is completed, and hey, the Yankees made it! I lose several bets! • Basketball: Take that, Cuba! U.S. women win FIBA opener. Too bad Castro didn't live to see it. • Tennis: Venus ascending at Korean Open. Henry Blake approve...
Brett Favre, On The Edge Of History
This week, in Minnesota, Brett Favre is likely to break Dan Marino's record for most career touchdowns, notching 421. This will give him a one-touchdown lead and, of course, a one-Super Bowl lead. But we always forget: Favre is on the precipice of another record Sunday as well....
God Apologizes For Helping Kitna
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline's Clay Travis has talked to God, and he's sorry...
Nike Targets Next Great Growth Industry
Pictured is Wes Studi, the infamous "naked Indian" from The Doors. He couldn't be bothered to wear pants; now we're expecting him to have his own specialized shoes? Nike is counting on it....
The Shirt That Never Was
Nothing tickles us pink more than an outdated championship shirt; our favorite is still when Nike had Final Four shirts for every team other than George Mason, the team whose shirts people would actually want....
BREAKING: Ron Mexico Smokes Pot!
So this is gonna blow your mind, folks: A couple of weeks ago, when matters might have been somewhat stressful for Michael Vick, he ... tested positive for marijuana. You think you know a guy....
ESPN's Disastrous "Town Hall Meeting"
We didn't watch ESPN's timely Michael Vick Town Hall Meeting last night, but from just about every account, it was a total disaster. The audience was so partisan for Vick — which, to be fair, is the opposite of what you typically see — that anyone who so much as pointed out that Vick confessed to el...
You Will Believe A Man Can Fly
We are no experts on the art of the dance, but from most accounts, for a guy with a replaced hip, Mark Cuban did all right on "Dancing With The Stars" last evening. But we have absolutely no idea how he got this high in the air. It kind of freaks us out a little bit; DeSagana Diop is seven feet tal...
R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...
Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tu...
About Last Night
What you missed while being pantsed by an ape ... • MLB: Phillies decide against a frontal assault, decide to sneak up on NL wild-card berth from the rear. • NFL: Brian Griese takes the reigns as Bears' starting quarterback, and this time he shall not fail!* • Soccer: Hey look, European soccer score...
It's Furries Vs. Klingons For All The (Lost) Marbles
Man, oh man, how we wish we were in Atlanta this weekend. It's the Furries vs. Klingons bowl-off. If there's anybody out that way who wants to pop by and let us know how this goes, consider yourself officially encouraged. We only wish Bob Uecker were around for it; Furry conventions are never the s...
There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself....
How Not To Text Message
The couple in this picture is ... hmm ... let's see ... "Simone Callahan" and "Shane Warne." He's apparently one of the best cricket players in the world. She's his wife. Well, for now anyway....
How To Bring Your Car Back From The Pound
Not much is worse than having your car towed. We once had our old Toyota Camry towed in St. Louis, and we had to take a cab to a lot in which — and we don't want to overstate this — Beezlebub himself required us to give him 200 bucks in cash. Our keys were covered in sulfur. It's not a fun place to ...
Joba Is The New F—k Lion
By now, you've probably seen these photos of various New York Yankees rookies dressing up like characters from The Wizard Of Oz. We definitely enjoy Joba Chamberlain's impersonation of a f—k lion....
MSG's Odd Defense Strategy
Time for an Isiah Thomas trial update: You know you've missed them....