k Page 4183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

OIbermann Vs. Swann: Battle Of The Intellects
We'll confess a slight affection for Keith Olbermann, though we sometimes think this conversation happens in his head every day:...

New Mexico Packs Some Serious Heat
We've received a lot of amusing PhotoShop montages involving former Virginia Tech quarterback Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, but, for some reason, we think this is our favorite one....

OK, The Knicks Are Starting To Freak Us Out
Last night, the Knicks — the New York Knicks — won their fifth straight game, beating the Dallas Mavericks 117-115 in overtime. (We had tickets to this game but had to turn them down; hey, "Yes, Dear" was on.) These weren't weak wins either; they beat Cleveland on the road, and Phoenix and now Dal...

Welcome To The Bizarro NFL
Word on the street is that the Green Bay Packers are set to hire San Francisco 49ers offensive coordinator Mike McCarthy as the team's new head coach, with an announcement to come maybe later today. This may come as a surprise to, well, anyone who is familiar with the final NFL regular season stan...

He Stands Before You. Clinton. Simply Clinton.
If the real sports world were like the Deadspin sports world, someone like Dennis Rodman or Joe Pepitone would be popping open some champagne this morning, 1972 Dolphins-style: The Clinton Portis madness streak has finally come to an end....

Poll Results: Super-Size New Mexico!
You have spoken, dear readers, and it's perhaps little surprise that you'd be most afraid to run into Marcus "New Mexico" Vick at your local McDonald's. You know what's cool, though? He has a THUG LIFE tattoo across his McRib....

Eva Longoria Slumming It, Big Time
Gossip site EITM Online — imagine US Weekly with uncomfortable photos of Mischa Barton's, uh, monthly visit from a friend — has a picture they claim is of Eva Longoria (Spurs guard Tony Parker's lady friend and fellow terrorizer of Mexican police officers) and ... wait for it ... "ESPN Hollywood"...

Sean Taylor Needs To Practice His Spitting
If you watched last weekend's Redskins-Buccaneers game, you saw Washington safety Sean Taylor ejected for spitting on Tampa Bay running back Michael Pittman, and you know when you spit on a Marine who has been known to drive his Hummer into vehicles that contain his wife and child, there will be r...

Poll: Whom Do You Least Want To Run Into At McDonald's?
We still haven't quite come to terms with the bat-shit crazy weirdness of Marcus "New Mexico" Vick whipping out a gun at McDonald's the day after he declared for the NFL Draft, but it did get us to thinking: We haven't been to McDonald's for a long, long time. At first, we thought it was because w...

Look Out For The Black Mamba. (Relax, We Don't Mean Literally)
We hate to be the ones who have to point this out, but after all we've made fun of him for — with our personal favorite still being Chuck Klosterman's notion that the Lakers are like "an eighth-grade intramural team which happens to have one kid with a mustache" — it's worth noting that the man no...

New Mexico's Teenage Tough Love
Well, it's almost noon, and hey: Marcus "New Mexico" Vick hasn't gotten arrested yet today. Good for him!...

You'll Have To Stay Up Late For Stephen A. Now
In news we'd heard might be coming for a while, our main man Stephen A. Smith — whose show "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith," in case you forgot, is "bigger than ESPN" despite having worse ratings than billiards — is having his show moved from 6:30 p.m. to 11 p.m. at the end of the month....

When The Packers Are Down, Everyone's Down
We're going to be in Green Bay for a wedding this Friday — that's right, it's a wedding ... in the afternoon ... on Friday the 13th ... in Green Bay ... in January — and we were looking at what to do the rest of the time in Green Bay. Guess what? Nada. Wait, there's a couple of Starbucks; they hav...

New Mexico's Busy Fortnight
Apparently, Marcus "New Mexico" Vick thinks he's a rock star ... or Phil Spector....

Mark Madsen's "Text Messages With The Stars"
Someone just directed us to Mark Madsen's blog — we honestly had no idea he had a blog; a star of such caliber, too! — and pointed out this particularly amusing entry about a cellphone text message he sent to Robert Horry last year, after Horry's huge 3-pointer for the Spurs in the NBA Finals:...

Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...

Fiction Is Actually Stranger Than Kobe's Truth
Further showcasing the almost impressive casual racism of the porn industry, a reader sends us the link to this very special porn film: Tobey Bryan's Backcourt Violation, from our classy friends at Hustler....

NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...

Panthers vs. Giants - 4th Quarter
• If Ken Lucas and Marlon McCree played for the Giants, Eli Manning would be on fire. Unfortunately for Eli, however, they are Panthers. McCree did do the Giants a favor, though, and run about 20 yards backwards after the interception. But that probably just means DeShaun Foster has more yardage ...

Panthers vs. Giants - 3rd Quarter
• The Giants brought out Lawrence Taylor to be honored at halftime. This could provide some inspiration for the G-Men. Particularly if LT brought his pipe with him....