k Page 4202 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch between the drunken calls from Pat O'Brien and Bill O'Reilly ... • College FB: Toledo at Fresno State. A game too big for local TV, too boring for pay-per-view. [ESPN2] • MLB: The team-formerly-known-as-Anaheim can clinch against Oakland. [KCAL] • MLB: Rockies at Braves. Atlanta can al...

Set Tivos To C-SPAN!
Like most people, we watched last spring's and summer's steroid hearings with many healthy dollops of amusement; it was alternately:...

Simmons, Klosterman Hug For 3,973 Words
Our boy Bill Simmons and Spin and Esquire columnist Chuck Klosterman are such ideological Bosom Buddies that the surprise is not that they've collaborated on Page 2 again — they tried this once before — but that they don't do it every day, every week, every month, every year. We've always kind of ...

Blogdome: The Hell Of Being A Padres Fan
• "I don't care what you do now. Go ahead and win the dumb division. Or just keep crapping all over yourselves. I could care less either way. I have the Chargers and my Gloria Gaynor CDs." [Gas Lamp Ball] • Eddy Curry is either brooding over the way the Bulls are treating him, or sitting at home get...

If Tom Cruise Were A Lineman
As obsessive as Madden 2006 players tend to be, we're surprised it took this long to be discovered, but it appears a glitch in the game has Jets offensive lineman Michael King listed as seven inches high. (That's him in the picture, doing a pretty excellent job at blocking a Buccaneer, considering...

When Lenny Dykstra Speaks, People Listen
We've told you already how shocked we were to see that human wad of chaw Lenny Dykstra is writing financial opinion pieces for TheStreet.com, but we're still not quite over it. Dykstra's newest "column" has just been posted at TheStreet, and we find several statements extremely disturbing....

In The Wake Of Chad
We've always liked Jets fans, if just because they have that unique New York blend of bitter cynicism and unabashed homerism toward their team. They're like the woman who has nothing nice to say about her spoiled younger sister ... but she'll have your throat if you do....

About Last Night ...
What you missed due to your somewhat troubling five-hour visit to the Liberace Museum ... • Clausen Effect: Tennessee upsets No. 4 LSU in college football. • Sorry About That, Chiefs: Denver slaps around Kansas City on MNF. • Damn Yankees: Big Unit leads Yanks to half-game lead over rained-out Red S...

Page 2's Collective Award Winners
We would like to congratulate ESPN's Page 2 on its Online Journalism Awards nomination for the Best Online Commentary (Large), which, at first glance, appears to be for the most outstanding columnist who uses very big letters on a computer. The site's fellow nominees, impressively, are not whole s...

To Watch Tonight ...
What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Doritos, and this picante sauce is the sun ... • College FB: Tennessee at LSU. The only group of Volunteers who are not welcome in Louisiana. [ESPN2] • MNF: Chiefs at Broncos. If you have any idea what John Madden is talking about, please let us know. [A...

The Self-Perpetuating Ridiculous Trade Rumor
In recent days, a rumor has gone around that Timberwolves skinny pogo Kevin Garnett could be traded to the Los Angeles Lakers. (Just in a cursory search, we found it here, and that's just in the last few days.) It was originally reported by Eric Pincus at Hoops World. Rumors are rumors — we love '...

Paris Hilton And Ross Verba: Our Lucy And Ricky
We're not saying that Paris Hilton's already decumbent standards are getting somehow lower or anything, but one would think that when you're on the cover of Vanity Fair, you'd be able to party with a relatively high class of athlete. Nope: Hilton was out boobing it up in Las Vegas last weekend wit...

Fighting The Real Enemy: Fuchsia
From the Professors With Way Too Much Time On Their Hands Department: A professor at the University of Iowa has been receiving Internet threats after she claimed that the Iowa football team's propensity to color the locker room pink was sexist and homophobic. First off, we'd like to tell everyone ...

NFL Roundup: Kickers Soak Up All The Drama
• Like everyone else who is prone to breaking their spine whenever there's a stiff wind, we've always had an affinity for kickers. So when Cowboys bully tackle Larry Allen went after former XFL kicker Jose Cortez after he missed an extra point — to be fair, Cortez got a little lipp — we cringed th...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while declaring a thumb war with your Iraqi neighbor ... • NFL: Patriots 23, Steelers 20. Once again, mighty Steel Town reduced to tears by hobbit-like Adam Vinatieri. • MLB: Yankees, Red Sox both win to stay tied for division lead; will decide things in Wrestlemania VII. • NFL: Beng...

Week In Deadspin: Is Manny Wearing A Ron Mexico Jersey?
• You thought Ryan Farnsworth was bad. You thought Bronson Arroyo tarting it up with college students who aren't his wife was bad. You thought that A-Rod and his wife living as closet swingers was bad. Until you have seen Manny Ramirez teaching people how to dance, you ain't seen nothing. NOTHING!...

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... • Michael Vick drags his gimpy leg into chilly Buffalo for your gambling pleasure. • "A 'Vinny the Squirtz' is here to see you, sir; something about football wagering. Shall I call the Duc...

Bob Knight's Kid Keeps Falling Upward
According to the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal — which has to be the strangest name for a newspaper we've ever seen — Texas Tech assistant basketball coach Pat Knight will succeed his father (his dad goes by "Bob") as the Red Raiders' head coach. We are wary of calling this eventual promotion "nepotis...

Michigan Courts Make Society Safe Again
We know it's amazing that sports have been able to continue in the 10 months since the Pistons-Pacers brawl at The Palace in Detroit, but somehow, someway, athletic endeavors have been able to stagger on. In another example of the brutal ramifications of the actions of everyone involved, the three...

Giants Fans Remain Most Erudite In Sport
We once went to a St. Louis Cardinals-New York Yankees game at Yankee Stadium with a smattering of fellow Cardinals fans. There was a rain delay, and our group — all dressed in loud red, of course — watched the Bleacher Creatures amuse themselves, treating the benches like Slip-n-Slide's and parti...