k Page 4214 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tyson Suicide Watch Continues
We really can't handle another Mike Tyson story that's about his damn birds. Yes. We know. He smashes people's heads into mush for a living, he's self-destructive, he's served time for rape, yet he's really into birds. We get it. It's supposed to mean something. It's, like, a metaphor, you see. US...
NHL Lockout Update
Yep, there's as much to report as you'd think: Just a bunch of guys with goofy names picking their noses....
Bidding For Danica
We find it encouraging that a female athlete could be a part of a bidding war — and Playboy isn't involved at all. Word has started to rumble (can word "rumble?") that Nascar could make a play for young Danica. She'd certainly have to sing at Wrigley "Stadium" better than Jeff Gordon did....
Guess The Kobe Bryant Activity
In this photo, Kobe Bryant and his wife are:...
If You Care ...
Apparently, we're VERY close to an end to the NHL lockout. Quoth Eklund's Hockey Rumors:...
Giuliani Risks Popularity By Offering To Save Hockey
These days, New York City mayor-turned-walking beacon of hope for all who walk the earth Rudy Giuliani seemingly can do no wrong in the court of public opinion. But that's about to be tested, because Rudy is sticking his mug into the NHL lockout. A group of investors is calling on Giuliani Partner...
Fat Drivers Whine
Last week, before the Indianapolis 500, Nascar dolt Robby Gordon said it was unfair that Danica Patrick was so light, saying she had a natural advantage for speed, being so spindly. We found this amusing, because once we find the one advantage women have over men in the world of sports, some idiot...
Cuban Hopes To Make NBA Like Nascar — Only Blacker
Yesterday we praised Mark Cuban for resisting the temptation to write one of those annoying "you can be a SUCCESS!" books. Of course, he'll pretty much sell anything else. In today's Blog Maverick post, Cuban praises the recent idea of putting advertising on NBA players uniforms. As one message b...
For Background Purposes, Honest
Just in case you thought Danica Patrick was a brand new phenomenon, FHM proudly proclaims that it had pictures of her months ago. So we link them to you, for research purposes. We missed the Rusty Wallace spread; our subscription to Beer Gut just ran out....
NHL Officially Falls Below Lacrosse
Even as it comes a little closer to a deal, according to the invaluable Eklund's Hockey Rumors, the NHL just keeps sliding closer to oblivion. Sportbusiness.com reports that ESPN has decided not to renew its option to broadcast NHL games next season....
Jeter Rips The Lid Off
Following in the steps of Barry Bonds, Derek Jeter has now launched his own Web site through MLB.com. We've been making fun of Barry's site pretty regularly, particularly its tendency to use its position as Barry's Only Place To Talk To His Fans Without That Racist Media Standing In The Way to tel...
Mark Cuban Gets His Pat Croce On
One of the many things we admire about Mark Cuban is that he hasn't written one of those Donald Trump, Pat Croce-esque books about "How To Be A Winner" or "YOU Can Be A Success!" Cuban always seems to be honest about the whole thing; he had a hot dot-com, he sold it at the exact right time and he'...
Danica Mania: The Aftermath
Like a lot of people, we were on the couch Sunday, cheering on Danica Patrick — and, perhaps even more so, David Letterman — at the Indianapolis 500. A friend of ours was asking us the other day, perplexed, whether or not we found Danica Patrick physically attractive; we said that he was wrong to ...
Rickey Does What Rickey Does, Baby
Surprising no one, Rickey Henderson rocked in his San Diego Surf Dawgs debut last night. We honestly would lose our collective minds if Rickey made it back to the bigs; we think we would just follow him around, like Phish or the Grateful Dead or REO Speedwagon....
Kwan Excited About Choking Again
We don't pay much attention to figure skating — obviously — but we have always been amused and befuddled by the intense popularity of Michelle Kwan. (We once knew a grown woman who had pictures of her all over her wall. She was a sensitive sort.) Yesterday, Kwan announced that she will participate...
Rickey Henderson: The Last Refuge Of The Tortured Cubs Fan
Things are getting so bad on the North Side of Chicago that Cubs bloggers are pleading for them to sign Big Bad Rickey....
The Ron Mexico Name Generator
Our friends at Gorilla Mask have come up with a lovely device: The Ron Mexico Name Generator. It's easy: Just type your name in, select your gender and whammo, you can go incognito just like our man Vick. (Strangely, there's no form for "sexual history.")...
Breaking News: NHL.com Staffers Still Jerking Off
In their imaginary tournament with imaginary teams coached by their imaginary friends, the fine folks at NHL.com have simulated a HUGE COMEBACK by the 1920's All-Stars over the 1960's All-Stars in the Quest for Canada's Best "tournament." They're gonna have to end this lockout soon, or those guys ...
Laughing At Phil Jackson Is Always Fun
We're not as crazy about Onion-esque sports comedy site SportsPickle.com as others are. It's nothing against them; it's just that The Onion does what it does, and everyone else is just trying too hard. That said, we had to laugh at this story: Phil Jackson Narrows Coaching Choices Down to Heat, Pi...
Well, There's No Need To Be <em>Smug</em> About It
Thank You, Kobe! [ThankYouKobe.com]...