k Page 4216 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rickey Does What Rickey Does, Baby
Surprising no one, Rickey Henderson rocked in his San Diego Surf Dawgs debut last night. We honestly would lose our collective minds if Rickey made it back to the bigs; we think we would just follow him around, like Phish or the Grateful Dead or REO Speedwagon....
Kwan Excited About Choking Again
We don't pay much attention to figure skating — obviously — but we have always been amused and befuddled by the intense popularity of Michelle Kwan. (We once knew a grown woman who had pictures of her all over her wall. She was a sensitive sort.) Yesterday, Kwan announced that she will participate...
Rickey Henderson: The Last Refuge Of The Tortured Cubs Fan
Things are getting so bad on the North Side of Chicago that Cubs bloggers are pleading for them to sign Big Bad Rickey....
The Ron Mexico Name Generator
Our friends at Gorilla Mask have come up with a lovely device: The Ron Mexico Name Generator. It's easy: Just type your name in, select your gender and whammo, you can go incognito just like our man Vick. (Strangely, there's no form for "sexual history.")...
Breaking News: NHL.com Staffers Still Jerking Off
In their imaginary tournament with imaginary teams coached by their imaginary friends, the fine folks at NHL.com have simulated a HUGE COMEBACK by the 1920's All-Stars over the 1960's All-Stars in the Quest for Canada's Best "tournament." They're gonna have to end this lockout soon, or those guys ...
Laughing At Phil Jackson Is Always Fun
We're not as crazy about Onion-esque sports comedy site SportsPickle.com as others are. It's nothing against them; it's just that The Onion does what it does, and everyone else is just trying too hard. That said, we had to laugh at this story: Phil Jackson Narrows Coaching Choices Down to Heat, Pi...
Well, There's No Need To Be <em>Smug</em> About It
Thank You, Kobe! [ThankYouKobe.com]...
Blogger's Stockholm Syndrome
One of our favorite unheralded blogs is The Yankee Despiser. Essentially, some guy who can't stand the Yankees writes just about everything you'd ever need to know about the Yankees. Frankly, we find more information and commentary about the Yankees there than we do at most fan blogs. Anyway, TYD — ...
In Manhattan, This Could Get Him A One-Bedroom With A Working Toilet
Mike Tyson, whose debt is larger than most third-world nations' GDPs, has bought a $2.1 million home in Arizona. He is scheduled to fight another stiff white guy in June in Washington, D.C. So that's fun. We're still waiting for Little Mac to challenge him again....
People Who Knew NHL Was Gone Feeling Optimistic
According to the invaluable Eklund's Hockey Rumors:...
Even Jeff Gillooly Is Starting To Feel A Little Sick
Harding Ready For Next Fight [Boxing Talk]...
More Cartoon Idiocy at ESPN
"Episode Two" of "Off-Mikes" — the visual interpretation of Mike Greenberg's and Mike Golic's morning show — has premiered on ESPN.com. As usual, it's just a bunch of ADD animation with a couple of buffoon figures doing slapstick. A legitimate question: Who in the world likes this crap? We don't ...
Mike Piazza Goes (Log Cabin?) Republican
That photo to the contrary, we now have definitive evidence that Mike Piazza is not, in fact, gay: He loves Rush Limbaugh. Upon spotting Limbaugh at Turner Field yesterday, Piazza — whose brother is head of the Montgomery County, Pa. Republican Party — stepped away from pregame warmups to shake L...
David Letterman: Nascar Dad
Like any right-minded American male between the ages of 24 and 54, we grew up loving David Letterman. And native Indianaian Letterman grew up loving the Indianapolis 500, culminating in his co-ownership of the Bobby Rahul Racing Team, which employs hot commodity Danica Patrick in this weekend's r...
Ricky Williams 15 Pounds Lighter, And It Ain't The Hair
In the wake of the news that Ricky Williams is eager to rejoin the Miami Dolphins, Florida Today's Carl Kotala gives five reasons why Ricky should return and, to be all schizo on us, five reasons why he shouldn't. Being a sportswriter, he throws a couple lame Whizzinator and Lenny Kravitz jokes i...
Mark Cuban Needs A Hug
When their teams are eliminated from the postseason, most owners:...
NHL.com Staffers Trying To Stay Awake
Pity the poor folks who work at NHL.com. There haven't been any games in months, all the players are off playing in the countries where they change the president every month and, all told, there just ain't all that much to do. These days, they're twiddling their thumbs by playing a fantasy tourna...
Three Easy Jokes We Apologize For In Advance
Joe Bryant To Coach In Japan [Reuters]...
Those Who Still Remember Hockey To Meet Again
Apparently, the NHL actually intends on playing again. But when? And where? And who cares? Anyway, TSN of Canada, whose reporters have presumably been in Aruba for a few months, says players and league officials will be meeting all day today to try to figure out how they will split the 40 bucks i...
Mike Greenberg's One Joke
We have always been curious about the life that ESPN anchor/radio host/all around nerd Mike Greenberg lives his life. His radio show starts at 6 a.m., where he and professional oaf Mike Golic play out tired Odd Couple gags for four hours. We imagine he's then in meetings all day, grooming, nodding, ...