k Page 4226 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nick Swisher Likes To Keep Current On His Periodicals
Oakland A's pitcher outfielder Nick Swisher just doesn't have the time to scour bars for leather-clad women in search of a relationship. So he does his shopping by magazine. According to Sports by Brooks, Swisher spied model Danielle Gamba "in a magazine" recently, saw that she was from the Bay Area...

Inside The Awful Illini Car Accident
As most of you have heard by now, two Illinois basketball players — center Brian Carlwell and shooting guard Jamar Smith — were injured in a car accident last night in Champaign. Smith suffered a concussion, but Carlwell is currently listed in critical condition at Carle Foundation Hospital, a hospi...

Dan Hawkins REALLY Wants You To Practice More
Colorado Buffaloes head coach Dan Hawkins was hired because he's not the type of guy to lure his players in with strip clubs and booze, unlike his predecessor. We respect that; nobody wants that for college students....

Deep, DEEP Inside The Westminster Dog Show
Starting yesterday and concluding today, the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden features the finest athletic specimens at MSG since ... well, since the last Dog Show. We don't consider competitive dog preening a sport, but we do find it funny, and we think Best In Show is one of the funni...

Why West Virginia Is So Good At Home
Just to make sure we end your day on as lowbrow a point as we can possibly muster, here's the reason UCLA lost to West Virginia on Saturday. This guy. Let this be a lesson for all of you: Do not come into this guy's house and expect to escape alive....

What Kind Of Bet Would The Pink Taco Make?
When mayors make their yearly dopey bets on certain sports series — "If the Colts win, you'll give us your deep dish pizza, and if your Bears win, we'll give you some dreary dead-end manufacturing jobs!" — it's silly, but kind of cute, in a "white people in suits trading beans" type of way. But when...

Excuse Me Sir, Is That A Beach Ball? <i>Next!</i>
Oh, to have been at the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer tryouts on Saturday; what a glorious display of talent that must have been. They're calling it the Beckham Effect, in which 800 hopefuls from as far away as Japan and Australia showed up for a "chance" to play alongside David Beckham this coming MLS ...

Can They Hold An NCAA Tournament Without Duke?
Much discussion today about a potentially big fun NCAA Tournament question: Is it possible that Duke could miss the field of 65? The Blue Devils have lost four in a row and have a ton of road games coming up. It still seems rather unlikely, but the real question is whether we should legitimately be ...

Looking For Glove In All The Wrong Places
We're going to approach this gingerly and with much caution ......

Mark Cuban's Queer Eye For The NBA Guy
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is of the opinion that, if there is a gay player out there on a current NBA roster, he should come out, because he would be totally rich and respected if he did. Because that's just the way it happens in the real world, right? You announce that you're gay, and they ...

Get Those Pom Poms Out Of Joakim Noah's Face
There are certain things you should probably expect from a guy who would wear this. One of those might involve trying to punch a cheerleader....

Nothing Says Valentine's Day Like Six-Foot Tall Spiced Meat
If you can't figure out what to get your significant other for this upcoming Valentine's Day — and you happen to live "within a 45 mile radius from Miller Park" and have V-Day between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m. Central Time open — you could give the gift that keeps on giving: Sausages....

The Eye Of The Tiger Will Save A Serbian Village
Zitiste is a small Serbian town with a population just over 3,000. I guess the village is only mentioned in the news when they're hit with floods, and they're getting tired of it. To counteract this, they're spending money on not some sort of drainage or irrigation system, but... a big Rocky statue....

You Must Limber Up Before Cheering On The Flying Dutchmen
If this were happening at a powerhouse Division 1 school, it would be annoying. Since it's the Flying Dutchmen (and that might not be a misnomer, they might all actually be Dutch) of Division III Hope College, however ... I find it adorable....

College Hoops Compendium: Score One For Antagonism
• West Virginia 70, (2) UCLA 65. Country fuckin' Rooooads... Take me the fuck home... Sorry. That t-shirt inspires me. Arron Afflalo's 27 weren't enough to help UCLA get the win, but when they're on the road, it seems like nothing is good enough to help them win. All three of their losses are of the...

Felony Shroomin' With The Bulldogs
If Gonzaga Bulldogs Josh Heytvelt and Theo Davis are playing basketball today, they're playing not for position in the WCC standings, but for cigarettes and the protection of their anal cavities. They're in jail right now, or at least they were as of a few hours ago, because police say they found ma...

Week In Review: You Can't HANDLE John Amaechi!
• We welcomed the great Will Blythe to these here parts. • To repeat: We feel bad for this guy's little brother. • A look at Harold Reynolds' contract. • A.J. Daulerio filed his last report from Miami and then took a well-earned vacation. Look out for Stu! • Hello, Santiago! • Ron Zook, kicking your...

Baseball Players Hitting Each Other With Chairs
For those of you who pay attention to such matters, TNA wrestling is having some sort of pay-per-view event this weekend that will feature "Team Pierzynski" vs. "Team Eckstein." That's A.J. Pierzynski and David Eckstein, two people who have never been in our kitchen. In this "promo" clip, Pierzynski...

Blythe: Billy Packer's Greatest Moment
We are quite honored today to welcome once again Will Blythe, the former literary editor of Esquire and author of the great book "To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever", to the warm embrace of Deadspin. (We interviewed Blythe about the book when it came out in hardcover. The paperback is out now....

When Will The Media Elite Stop Tearing Down Our White Heroes?
Every debate needs comic relief, and God bless him, Rush Limbaugh is always good for that. The former director of promotions for the Kansas City Royals in the early 1980s, and at one time the word's fifth-leading importer of OxyContin (behind Brazil), Limbaugh has become in recent years obsessed wit...