k Page 4234 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jets vs. Patriots: 1st Quarter
- Hello... welcome back to another day of hot, nasty, NFL action. The Jets and Colts are a few minutes from kicking off. I don't know if I'm going to watch, though. Sundays are for bowling....

College Hoops Compenium: If College Basketball Had a BCS, Clemson Might Be #1
• (18) Clemson 75, Georgia Tech 74. The Tigers are the only undefeated team left in the country after just about every team in the Top 25 lost yesterday. And it took Clemson a lay-up at the buzzer to hold off Georgia Tech. Tech is fresh off suspending their best scorer, Lewis Clinch, for the rest of...

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 4th Quarter
- The Cowboys are opening the quarter with a punt here. They're up by four with 15:00 to play. I would really love to see an exciting finish here. After that early game, frankly, I think we all deserve it....

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 3rd Quarter
- The halftime show is over, mercifully bringing Jim Mora Jr.'s career as an analyst to an end. Cena was surprisingly gentle, by the way....

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 2nd Quarter
- There are the Hasselbeck ladies. Obviously, they're pretty bundled up and it's hard to tell, but... I think Hasselbeck's mom might have a slight edge in that matchup. I can't make the call from here....

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 1st Quarter
- The biggest reason I'm excited about this game is that it's the last I'll have to see this year of Jerome Bettis....

Chiefs vs. Colts: 4th Quarter
- Thanks to Tony Gonzalez and Trent Green's newfound testicles, the last fifteen minutes of this game might actually be worthwhile. The picture there is Larry Johnson's dad, and I thought we should probably feature him, as he's been as important to the outcome of this game as his son has....

Chiefs vs. Colts: 3rd Quarter
- It's halftime. The picture there to your right is Lawrence Tynes' field goal doinking off the post. Enjoy Jerome Bettis in the studio....

Chiefs vs. Colts: 2nd Quarter
- That's Julie Green again. Sorry... she made an impression. I just kind of assumed that Trent Green would be with someone who looked a little bit more matronly....

Chiefs vs. Colts: 1st Quarter
- Hello... welcome. That's Herm Edwards and Tony Dungy, and in case you didn't catch the NBC pregame show, they're friends. They really like each other. A lot....

If Sean Salisbury Asks You To Look At His Phone, Don't Do It
Sean Salisbury briefly disappeared from the ESPN airwaves earlier this year. Pro Football Talk noted that Salisbury had been suspended (scroll way down), but the Worldwide Leader gave no reasons for his absence, in fact, they never mentioned it at all. And on December 27th in a column at CBS Sport...

Week In Review: Don't Cry For Us, Leather
• We returned from vacation and are still completely bewildered. (And without our luggage.) • See ya, Chin. • Javon Walker was awfully close to Darrent Williams. Literally. • Jim Lampley will knock you around a bit. • You should always believe Nick Saban. • Mr. Daulerio is headed to the Super Bowl...

Playoff Pants Party: Eagles Vs. Giants
Seriously, it has to be frustrating. The Eagles make their mad dash to win the division and grab the third playoff seed ... and they still have to play the goddamned Giants in the first round....

Psst, Kid. How Would You Like To Skip Those Burpees?
The plot for the next Harry Potter movie has been leaked, and we've got it: All hell breaks loose at Hogwarts when new instructor Tamara Tootle is caught taking bribes from students to skip PE. No, wait ... that's real, actually....

Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Tiger Woods Name His Baby?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Playoff Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Jets
To think about this game, we like to compare not Eric Mangini and Bill Belichick, but, in fact, Mangini and Tom Brady. We think there might not be too physically different human beings on the planet. One of these days, Mangini should just eliminate the middleman and coach in a mumu....

Art Shell Would Like To Know How Much Toner You Think He Should Order
Oh boy, another position for Pete Carroll to consider. Not that there's anything funny about a guy losing his job, but what amused us about the sacking of Art Shell on Thursday was that Al Davis is going to make him stick around and do office work during the final year of his contract next season,...

We Still Never Like Calling Him The Big Unit
With the apparent trade of Randy Johnson yesterday back to the Diamondbacks, it becomes clear that something terrifying and disconcerting is happening: The Yankees are continuing to make prudent, measured moves with an eye on the long term. We're through the looking glass, people....

Playoff Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Cowboys
We didn't talk much about this, but the reason for our trip to Argentina? An attempt to further check out the genealogy of Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. (Turns out he is not, in fact, Argentinian.) It's still pretty amazing that Romo is in the Pro Bowl; if the Cowboys lose this game, he's gonna l...

NBA Roundup: We Welcome Our Dallas Mavericks Overlords
Notes from Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......