k Page 4307 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Portis Becomes Depressingly Self-Questioning
Ladies and gentleman, we present to you, after a one-week hiatus for Thanksgiving, Redskins running back Clinton Portis' newest creation: "Reverend Gonna Change," with those pretty crazy teeth and hair and the whole thing. On our scale, this ranks above "Dollah Bill" but behind "Dr. I-Don't-Know."...
Beleaguered "NFL Countdown" Closed Captioning Typists Get One-Week Reprieve
We were on a very slow-moving piece of public transportation and therefore are just hitting the late news: Michael Irvin has been suspended for one week following his arrest last Friday for having a "pipe" in his car. This is only two days after handsomely named ESPN exec Norby Williamson said "Ri...
Who's Your Favorite Sportswriter's Binkie?
Inspired by a comment in this morning's story about Jason Whitlock and his rips on Michael Irvin, a commenter named Mr. Poon — who runs this site — pointed out something curious about Whitlock. Namely, that Whitlock, in pinch, will fall back on his blind spot; his odd belief that Jeff George (a hi...
Orton: To Beard, Or Not To Beard
One would think Chicago Bears fans wouldn't want to mess with a seven-game win streak, but, then again, Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is looking pretty ridiculous this days....
"Quite Frankly" Cares About Both Its Fans
We don't mean to harp on any difficulties "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith" might be having filling its studio audience (tickets are free, of course, if watching the show film for two hours could ever actually be called "free"), but, honest to Heavens, we received the following phone call and ...
Athlete Run-Ins: Ben Gordon, Iron Chef
Today's first athlete run-in story touches on something we've always wondered about athletes: Do any of them have any idea how to cook? (We wonder odd things sometimes.) From Brian, a former University of Connecticut student and occassional acquaintance of current Chicago Bull Ben Gordon:...
Holyfield Eager To Be Pummeled Again
If you were thinking that "Dancing With The Stars" hoofer Evander Holyfield was actually retiring, like, seriously this time, well, you're wrong again. Holyfield, who is 43 years old, has said as soon as he gets out of his contract with Don King, he will continue his quixotic attempt to regain his...
Whitlock Roasts Himself, But Mostly Roasts Irvin
Fascinating column this week from The Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock, who, of course, is well-known to most by his frequent appearances on ESPN, television, online and otherwise. While discussing an apparent "roast" planned for him in the Kansas City area (featuring potshots from Tony Kornheise...
Solich Party Photos!
In case you were wondering if Ohio coach Frank Solich's drunk driving arrest incident was an entirely isolated incident, here's some photos of the coach chilling at an Ohio bar with some students, posing, having some fun. Anyone, of course, should feel free to go out and have some drinks. But som...
Kobe Has A Run In His Protective Gear
We share YAYSports!' fascination with Kobe Bryant's tights, or his protective garb, or whatever the hell they are. It appears Kobe's tights — which clearly aren't constricting his ability to shot the ball 40 times a night — are now available for purchase on Nike's Web site for a mere 35 bucks, and...
Bruce Weber's Lawn Exploits
Well, we won our bet and we have made our post. It occurs to us that if Illinois can win over Xavier on Saturday, the Illini will likely be in the top 10, and we are less than convinced they belong in the top 10. But that's all technical talk; you can get that from Andy Katz, along with a consider...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m.. The Fantasy Focus: I'm afraid you've bitten off more than you can chew, ESPN fantasy games expert Eric Karabell — I'm in a Fantasy Chessboxing Pool. Try that one on for size, my nerdy little friend. • 1 p.m. NFL Draft Expert M...
Jake Plummer, The New Cher
You had heard all about the (ultimately successful) petition to bring back Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer's moustache, and, if you're like us, you might have thought, hey, as long as he's giving mustache rides to cheerleaders, all is pretty much fine....
The Rematch That Isn't, Not Really
The college basketball season really gets going tonight, as our beloved Big Ten takes its ritualistic beating in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge, one of the few things ESPN does every year that makes us smile. And the centerpiece game is, of course, the "rematch" of last year's national championship gam...
Fun With Trade Rumors
We like it when the Internet has something before the Jayson Starks of the world do, so we're gonna run with this, because it's the end of November and not much is more fun than a good trade rumor. According to MLB Trade Rumors, the St. Louis Cardinals are "close" to a "major" move, with sources s...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Peter Kerasotis
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. Yes, you read that correctly. Wisdom. How did Charles Dickens miss the boat on this whole one-sentence paragraph thing? Clearly today's breed of sportswriters are far better wordsmiths than the old quill pen-and-in...
A Day In The Life Of The "New" Michael Irvin
Well, it's the day after Michael Irvin's endless string of mea culpas following his arrest on Friday, and if Irvin's appearances had anything in common, it was their high proportion of "mea" to "culpa." Let's look back at Irvin's trip through the ESPN empire:...
Sleepless In Athens, Ohio
You wake up to the light in your eyes. Blinking, you try to adjust. The man with the light is very authoritative, and more than a little pissed. You must have been asleep for a while. Jesus, what time is it?...
Excuse Our Excretory Humor
OK, we're going entirely from memory here, since we haven't been able to find anything else about the exchange on the Web, but that's fine, we'd like to take credit for seeing it anyway. It will reveal just how puerile we really are....