kane Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Love Song For Kane And Toews That May Have You Questioning Your Own Masculinity
Via Crossing Broad comes this video mash note to the Blackhawks' two dreamboats. Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews exchange long, knowing glances with each other and...you. All set to the dulcet strains of Katy Perry....
Did Patrick Kane Have A Two-Day Hangover? (UPDATE)
Patrick Kane missed Blackhawks practice Monday and Tuesday with "flulike symptoms." The team wouldn't elaborate, but flulike symptoms might consist of nausea, vomiting, chills, aches, weakness, diarrhea. What else could cause those? Maybe, just maybe, throwing down at a Chicago bar on Sunday....
The Missing Stanley Cup Game 6 Puck Is Now Worth $50,000 And The FBI's Time
The puck from Patrick Kane's Stanley Cup-winning goal disappeared in June. Since then, a Chicago restaurant has offered $50,000 for it, the FBI has disproved one impostor, and a multiple-angle Zapruder film emerged. It's significant piece of rubber, you see....
Last Night's Winner: Sidney Crosby, Tough Guy
Normally we'd anoint as last night's winner the guy who got to punch Crosby. Unfortunately for the Stars' Matt Niskanen, he kind of got his ass kicked. Dallas, can you win anything?...
Patrick Kane Is More Alcohol Than Man At This Point
It's apparently Patrick Kane week here at Deadspin. So please accept this dump of assorted drunken sightings of the Blackhawks hero tooling around with Jimmy Buffett, rocking the flat-brimmed Reds cap, and getting "iced."...
Patrick Kane's Drunken Stanley Cup Road Trip Rolls On
That crazy kid puts down the Twlight books for a second to bring the Cup to Wrigleyville watering hole Moe's Cantina. Drinking out of the cup, and using it to pick up chicks? You betcha....
Patrick Kane Loves Him Some <em>Twilight</em>
Seen on MySpace: Stanley Cup Winner. Likes: Team Edward. Dislikes: When my mom comes in my room without knocking first....
Breaking: Patrick Kane, Stanley Cup Stuck Atop A Ladder Truck In Downtown Buffalo
That is all. You may resume your business. [h/t Tom]...
Pickpockets And Super Afrikaners On The Other Side Of The Sausage Curtain
PRETORIA, South Africa — My host in Pretoria gave me this can of pepper spray to fend off bandits. I didn't have it when the bad men struck....
“Have You Had Any Black Girls?” Asked The Afrikaner With The Mohawk
PRETORIA, South Africa — People here keep telling me I look South African. What they mean is that I look Afrikaner. (Yes, I'm white, and I dress poorly.) Looking Afrikaner sucks because inevitably you get approached by scary people who think they've found a fellow traveler....
Reader Submits Alleged Post-Coital Photo Of Patrick Kane
Email accompanying this photo circulating around Chicago area: "My co-worker's friend hooked up with Patrick Kane last week... and took a picture to prove it. Apparently, he was only so-so in bed."...
"If They Decide To Start Killing Us," The Young Afrikaner Said, "We Are Ready"
JOHANNESBURG — See this button? It's called a panic button. It was given to me by my hosts at a guesthouse in Johannesburg. If I press it, I was told, men with automatic weapons will appear and possibly spray the street with bullets in order to quell the panic....
Patrick Kane: A Portrait In Inebriation
Via NBC Chicago, here's a compilation of Kaner during the Blackhawks' victory parade today in Chicago. Watch him chug champagne, catch crowd beers, drink from the Cup, and slur his speech with the moxie of a 10-year veteran. Video inside....
Chicago Blackhawks Win The Stanley Cup
It's over. Patrick Kane wins it for the Blackhawks with a "secret" goal in OT. Good for him. (Update: Now with bonus video of Jeremy Roenick's tears.) [NHL.com]...
Here's Matt Cooke Getting His
The noted cheap shot artist gets knocked out with one punch, and Evander Kane never has to buy a drink in Boston ever again....
Hockey Players Have Surprisingly Average, If Hairless Bodies
As a nice middle-of-the-road counterpoint to the flab of Terrence Cody and the idealized manhood of Greg Oden, here are some Blackhawks shirtless in a limo....
Is The Big Ten The Best Hoops Conference?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Mario, Luigi Wanted For Assault, Battery
Super Mario Kart is the greatest sports game of all time; if you disagree, you are a Communist. That's why I bring you warning that the game is much uglier when translated into real life....
Patrick Kane Deprives World Of Potentially Amusing Trial
The Blackhawks forward pleads guilty to disorderly conduct and is ordered to apologize the cab driver he allegedly punched. So this whole sorry mess is behind us. Dang. [Mouthpiece Sports]...
How To Get A Woman To Start Thinking Divorce At Her Wedding
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....