kansas-city Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Team "Bans" Baseball Prospectus Writer, Pain In The Royal Ass
Last week, Rany Jazayerli, blogger and baseball propeller-head of note, went after longtime Royals trainer Nick Swartz, stopping just shy of ripping out the man's heart and waving it at the sun. The team didn't take this so well....

Larry Johnson Spends Evening Out With Women At A Club And Does Not Assault Any Of Them
Congratulations go out to Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson, who appears to have beaten the odds by spending a weekend in Vegas with numerous females(?) without any charges being filed. So far....

The Sad, Hilarious Tale Of Elvis Grbac, 1998's "Sexiest Athlete Alive"
This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac....

Not So Irrelevant Anymore
Ryan Succop, a kicker from South Carolina, was the last pick of this year's NFL Draft. He's reportedly about to become a rich, rich man. Like, $1.2 million rich. Who wouldn't trade relevance for cash? [Red Zone]...

Great Moments In Gambling: Cleveland Seagulls Cost Man His House
Betting on a mid-June AL Central baseball game seems like a brilliant path to financial freedom, but believe it or not, there are dangers. Like a flock of birds attacking Coco Crisp and costing you a $38,000 payday....

Cleveland's Flock Of Seagulls Scores Another Hit
Everyone said Eric Wedge was crazy to train wild birds to chase down baseballs in the outfield and distract opposing outfielders. Well, who's the crazy one now, huh? Indians/Birds 1, Royals 0....

Royals Fans Turn Children's Playground Into Thunderdome
Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business....

Royals Broadcaster Somehow Duped On-Air By Food Network Impersonator
Guy Fieri, the Food Network personality always in search of America's best chili dog waffle burgers was in the stands at the Royals game last night. Wait — no he wasn't. [Kansas City.com]...

Meet The Woman Who Saved Zack Greinke From Himself
Her name is Emily Kuchar. She is engaged to Greinke. According to him, she's the cool, refreshing Peach Daiquiri that keeps the Greinke crazy straw stirring. [MLB.com]...

Catch A Ride On The Greinke Train
Look, we're all friends here. You've got certain feelings inside you and you're not sure how to deal with them, but it's okay to talk about it—you kinda want to hump Zack Greinke, don't you?...

Tyson Jackson, Go Directly To KC
The city loves its steak, but hopefully they're fine with chicken. It looked like not many saw defensive end Tyson Jackson going in this pick, but what the heck do I know?...

Tony Gonzalez Is The New Falconer
Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]...

Savor This Moment, Because It May Never Happen Again
It's rare that one can say this and mean it, so one must make it count: Yesterday's victory over the White Sox gave the Kansas City Royals sole possession of first place in the AL Central....

Are You Ready To Welcome Your New Kansas City Overlords?
The New York Times has picked the Royals to win their division. Let that roll around on your tongue for a bit. Mmmm (cough). [New York Times]...

Baseball Has Been Very Good To Him Indeed
And now the bittersweet story of minor-league catcher Brayan Pena, who defected from Cuba 10 years ago by jumping out a bathroom window in Caracas, only to end up with the Royals....

Jay Mariotti Calls Shenanigans On Matt Cassel Trade
Gentleman Jay Mariotti knows a raw deal when he sees one and something about that Matt Cassel to Kansas City trade does not smell right to him....

Meet Your New Quarterback, Kansas City: Matt Cassel
Adam Schefter of NFL.com is reporting that the Chiefs have completed a trade for Patriots back-up (but franchised!) quarterback, Mr. Matt Cassel. Details of the compensation package have yet to be publicized....

Larry Johnson Goes Chasing Old Waterfalls To Brighten His Dark Days
The Kansas City Chiefs' disgruntled running back Larry Johnson is taking another chance at romance. Hopefully, this new relationship won't end with spit-covered faces or messy restraining orders. His next victim? That TLC lady....

Mike Shanahan Won't Coach the Chiefs
But hey, Herm Edwards is available! In other old-Broncos-coach news, Dan Reeves interviewed for the 49ers offensive coordinator spot....

Scott Pioli Mercifully Pulls Plug On Herm Edwards
According to ESPN, the Chiefs coach was just fired. [ESPN]...