kid Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly Writes A Lot About Moms, And Other Things Determined By Science
Ben Blatt of the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective used word frequency and Bayesian statistics to determine, well, nothing really except that Rick Reilly, Bill Simmons, and Jason Whitlock write like Reilly, Simmons, and Whitlock, respectively. But he found some cool stuff, too....

Let's Talk Rationally About The Theory That November's SI Kids Cover Is A Cleveland Diss
Rational people of the world, let's be rational together. This month's SI Kids' cover was a harmless rendering of Miami's Big Three as the Three Musketeers, not a malicious stab at the Cleveland Cavaliers and their preteen fan base....

Here's Some Adorable Children Doing Adorable Things
I love (and regularly wager on) Mites on Ice, when they let a bunch of kids play hockey during intermissions. But these little tykes at Tuesday's Capitals game set a new standard for awwww with their team goal celebration....

Soccer Team Signs 11-Year-Old
Premier League champeens Chelsea have negotiated a £10,000 + add-ons deal to sign an 11-year-old striker from League Two club Northampton Town....

Little Kid Definitely Does Not Want To Be Put In The Auburn Store
This tyke has an SEC-Speed meltdown at the mall after a seemingly empty threat. Laugh now, until it comes out that "The Auburn Store" is code for some kind of sex dungeon. [via Gossip Sports]...

Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....

Why Is There A Nationals Cap In The Original <em>Karate Kid</em>?
The movie came out in 1984, 20 years before the not-yet-extant Nationals unveiled their "curly W" logo. Time traveler? Or something more benign? Probably time traveler....

More Jeremy Green Arrest Details!
Let the Chris Hansen wine-cooler-and-Brillo-pad Silkwood shower begin:...

Yet Another Kid Caught Drinking Beer At A Baseball Game
Great. Our third boozing tyke this month was spotted at a Rays game next to (presumably) the best dad since those hockey dudes. Or maybe he's just enjoying some delicious Tropicana Apple Juice™! [MJ Morning Show]...

Awesome Parents Sue Hockey Team That Cut Their Sons
Two Toronto hockey dads are suing a youth league because coaches had the temerity to point out to their sons' that they aren't very good at hockey. Pay attention, because important life lessons are about to be taught....

Asshole Kids Try Their Best To Ruin Blackhawks Victory Parade
Reader Paul attended today's Blackhawks victory parade in downtown Chicago. Instead of seeing Patrick Kane get nice and toasty, he saw asshole teenagers doing what asshole teenagers do best: be asshole teenagers. His story, a video, and more photos after the jump....

Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry
During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times]...

The Human Dramedy Of The National Spelling Bee
Whether by design or accident, the kids at this year's spelling bee were decidedly less wacky than last year's crop of home-schooled rascals. (I do like the Canadian, though.) However, the event was not without its chuckles or....stunning twists!...

Sixth-Grade Bowler Finishes In The Money At PBA Event
Kamron Doyle pocketed a cool $400 for finishing 30th (with a 215 average) at the Canton Open. Hit him up on MySpace! (Actually, don't do that. He's 12.) Your parents are so disappointed in you right now. [AP/Bloomberg]...

Wince-Inducing Story Of The Day: Miguel Olivo Has A Urethra Of Steel
The Rockies catcher passed a kidney stone during a recent game against the Diamondbacks, then he threw his gear back on and later singled. "I can handle pain a little bit," he said. "Let's play baseball." [Last Angry Fan]...

The Boston Red Sox Will Brand Your Baby
"Every baby" born at Boston's Beth Israel will be indoctrinated into Red Sox Nation, whether you like it or not. The "Red Sox Babies" package includes hat, tote, and a lifetime of insufferability. [Beth Israel, "Benbino" pic via]...

Little Girl Cries Over Tweety Carter's Departure From Baylor. We've All Been There.
Via reader Ben comes this video of a 5-year-old girl who's incredibly, adorably distraught over the Baylor guard's approaching graduation. It is, I believe, the distilled essence of every Rivals.com message board in existence. [YouTube; somewhat related]...

Searching For...The Random Asian Kid Of KU
We haven't had to call upon the Deadspin I-team for personal search and rescue missions in a while, but today's entry seems as worthy as any deadbeat Dominican baseball player or ample-bosomed fan. We'll let Pete Gaines have the floor:...

Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

The Ballad Of Peanut Butter Kid: A Firsthand Account
Some fans cover themselves in body paint. Others just spill food on themselves over the course of the game. Then there's UGA's Peanut Butter Kid, who made yesterday's upset over Tennessee just about as unpleasant as possible for everyone involved....