kings Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Vikings CB: Same-Sex Marriage Ruling One Step Closer To Legal Pedophilia
The Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal across the nation today. Minnesota Vikings cornerback Josh Robinson unwisely decided to express his opinion that the ruling represents the height of a slippery slope leading to the legalization of pedophilia and incest:...
The Kings Are Such A Mess Right Now
Big question for tonight’s draft telecast: will ESPN cut away if news breaks that Sacramento’s owner, coach, and best player are all brawling in an alley?...
The Kings Are Screwed No Matter What Happens To DeMarcus Cousins
Things are happening quickly. On Monday, Yahoo reported that new Kings coach George Karl is looking to ship DeMarcus Cousins out of town. (Crazy!) On Tuesday, ESPN reported that Kings owner Vivek Ranadive will not allow Karl to trade Sacramento’s stunningly talented young center. (Rational!) With th...
George Karl Apparently Wants DeMarcus Cousins Gone, Is Crazy
Last night, Yahoo Sports’ Adrian Wojnarowski dropped a bomb, reporting that Sacramento Kings head coach George Karl, who’s had his job for about 45 minutes, is doing everything he can to convince the rest of the organization that All-Star center DeMarcus Cousins needs to be traded away as soon as po...
HURR I'm The Sun
Scottish soccer team Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot this morning. It’s that. Why....
Father's Day Gifts, Ranked
Hey, Father’s Day is on Sunday! Wait, you are saying, suddenly even more sweaty, confused, and anachronistic than usual—aren’t we in April? Aren’t we in April of 2013? No, we are not in April of 2013. We are in June of ... [fumbles with phone for five embarrassing minutes] oh, wow, 2015! that’s bana...
An Illicit Tour Of The New Vikings Stadium
The Vikings’ new billion-dollar stadium is little more than a year from opening, and feels much further away. Bulldozers work upon the patch of broken earth that will eventually become a football field. Its upper deck levels are nothing but giant, bare, staircase-like concrete slabs and along every ...
Adrian Peterson Gives In, Will Report To Vikings Practice
The monthslong staredown between Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Vikings appears to be settled, if far from amicably: Peterson has announced that he will rejoin the team for OTAs later today, apparently without getting the new contract he wanted. Though Peterson is 30 years old and will be the hig...
Adrian Peterson Goes On A Twitter Rant About His Contract
Adrian Peterson and his agent don’t want to be with the Minnesota Vikings anymore. Head coach Mike Zimmer said Wednesday that the running back “can play for us. Or he can not play.” While the two sides got nowhere, Peterson went ahead and aired grievances through Twitter. He sounds like he really wa...
Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA
According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money launder...
Some <i>Simpsons</i> Characters Voiced By Harry Shearer, Ranked
The Simpsons has been a lousy, vaguely depressing hood ornament for FOX for far longer, by now, than it ever was a good TV show, but when it was a good TV show, it was among the greatest television comedies ever made. Harry Shearer, the brilliant comedic and voice actor who announced his departure f...
Kings GM Confirms Players Locked Darryl Sutter Out Of The Dressing Room
The prevailing analysis of why the Kings missed out on the playoffs is that they were simply physically exhausted, that so many deep postseason runs and shortened summers finally caught up to the team’s core. It’s a satisfying, unfalsifiable explanation, but the notion that this was a long, unhappy ...
Sim Bhullar Is A Good Giant
The Kings called up 7-foot-5 Sim Bhullar from their D-League affiliate on Thursday and signed him to a 10-day contract, making him the first player of Indian descent in the league. In Bhullar’s time on the Reno Bighorns he’s slimmed down to 360 pounds, and one time he mashed a guy 30 feet into the e...
Closed Captioning Error Blesses Nik Stauskas With Fantastic Nickname
Something wonderful happened during Tuesday night’s game between the 76ers and Kings. Sacramento rookie shooting guard Nik Stauskas hit a pull-up three, and the closed captioning translated the play-by-play call of “Stauskas, hitting the three” into “Sauce Castillo hit the three.” Sauce Castillo!...
Adrian Peterson Is A Fucking Moron
You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead. The Vikings drafted Randy Moss, and I had to spend a decade justifying his existence to myself when he would sit down and make a ...
Adrian Peterson's Agent: "We Want Out Of Minnesota"
Adrian Peterson is under contract with the Vikings through 2017. He has absolutely no interest in playing out that contract, demanding either a raise or a trade, depending on the day and the audience. Yesterday was the most public trade demand yet, with agent Ben Dogra declaring that Peterson is fed...
Adrian Peterson Rode A Camel Into His Birthday Party
Adrian Peterson celebrated his 30th birthday over the weekend with a big party in Texas. The celebration had elaborate costumes, an ice bar, a cake shaped like a palace, and a camel, which Peterson rode. The theme appeared to be "What A Very Dumb 30-Year-Old Thinks The Middle East Looks Like."...
Boogie Cousins And John Wall Put On A Show; Some Team Also Won I Guess
A point guard and a center generally can't duel in the way we usually think of players dueling—directly, one-on-one, attacking each other at both ends. Apart from the occasional defensive switch or confrontation at the rim, they'll mostly compete from a distance, and indirectly, via their teams an...