l Page 7709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Closing Time
Due to piss poor time management, today's NHL Closer will once again share a post with college football and basketball. Sorry for the inconvenience. I started playing '1942' on my new Capcom plug-and-play and well ... the red enemy planes kept giving me extra loop power-ups! What was I to do? Not us...

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In progress — College Basketball: Wisconsin at Texas [ESPN2] • 1:00 — Meineke Car Care Bowl: Connecticut at Wake Forest [ESPN] • 1:00 — Classic MLB: Orioles at Yankees, Game 1 of '96 ALCS [ESPNC] • 1:00 — White Men Can't Jump [A&E] • 2:00 — Classic MLB: Royals at Yankees, 1983 "Pine Tar" Game [ESP...


How Do You Like 'Dem Apples, Riley?
My Christmas holiday summed up in five words or less: Clementines, Toblerones and beer. No joke. A million thanks to Alphonso Jackson, Nancy K. Kopp and, of course, Rick Chandler for filling in while I was gone. Your 'Body Shop' gift certificates are in the mail. Now, on to the NBA Closer!...

Ex-Yankee Jim Leyritz Drives Drunk, Kills Woman
Oh gee, what a glorious way to end the sports year! Ugh. Former Yankees catcher Jim Leyritz was arrested Friday on charges of driving under the influence and killing another driver. He posted the $11,000 bond and was released. (Note: $11,000 can pay for one hell of a cab ride, Jim.)...

About Last Night
What you missed while frantically sculpting a purple Ferris wheel ... • Champs Sports Bowl: Eagles extend nation's longest meaningless bowl winning streak to eight. B.C. 24, Michigan State 21. • NBA: OK, this is getting a tad bit ridiculous. Blazers win their 12th in a row. • NHL: Three shots. Three...

What A Thrilling Sports Week
• You'll actually be able to watch that game tomorrow night. • Man United's fun holiday party. • Kyle Orton is dominant. • This coach is more intense than even Ron Zook. • Roger Clemens "defends" "himself." • Hockey outside? Now we've seen everything. • Bill Belichick, masochist. • Word Of The Year....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that you're a myth and Bigfoot is real ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Dominic "Fainting Spell" Guinn vs. Robert "The Missouri Migraine" Hawkins, Vancouver, British Columbia (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College football: Champs Sports Bowl, Boston College vs. Michigan State, Orlan...

A Call For New Years Day Entertainment
Whew, this week is almost over; the week in between Christmas and New Years is always brutal for anyone who has to work, and a slow sports week didn't help. So, we're glad we're almost done. So, to almost wrap up, let's play with some Strongest Man Competition....

Ron Zook, Somewhat Less Intense This Week
We will say this: It is unlikely this photo above is going to replace Ron Zook Pisses Intensity Photo....

That's It; We're Officially Out Of End Of Year Lists
You've always wondered — maybe — about those Deadspin comment "+1" points; has anyone ever compiled those things? Well, obviously not ... who has the time for that ... holy crap!...

It's Easy To Steal From Blogs. And Fun!
• Pretty blatant swiping from a James Mirtle column. [BfloBlog] • Some small crowds in NHL arenas of the last week. [Orland Kurtenblog] • That Fukudome has himself a pretty good arm. [Home Run Derby] • The top scorer in college basketball also has a blog. [Storming The Floor] • The best sports video...

Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...

As If You Didn't Know, That Tony Parker Story Is Fake
We found it odd that the Associated Press, the sacred arbiter of journalism, with tentacles all over the globe, took so much interest in whether or not Tony Parker was sleeping with some random woman who wasn't Eva Longoria. Especially since, as Playboy.com has found, the whole story is completely b...

David Beckham Secure In His Manhood/Wears Ballet Shoes
Yes dammit, David Beckham is a metrosexual. Let him shout it from the rooftops! At last he is free, FREE! La la la la la la (skips away, stripping off clothing). In an interview on British radio on Monday, Beckham not only said that he is proud to be a gay icon, but that his wife dresses him. Oh, th...