l Page 7718 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Meet Your New American Gladiators
What better way to start burying our infamous 'Nightmare Ant' overlord than with another entry into the timeless "nightmare fuel" tag? Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you ... one of you newest American Gladiators ... HELLGA!...


Rory Sabbatini And Roo
Rick linked to this yesterday, but I don't care. Video of a masturbating kangaroo interrupting play at the Australian PGA Championship last week is exactly the type of "sports news without discretion" you come here for. Well, that, and Nightmare Ant....

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In progress — College Basketball. Okalahoma State at Pittsburgh [ESPN] • In progress — NCAA Division II Football Championship. Northwest Missouri State vs. Valdosta State [ESPN2] • In progress — Movie. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo [ENCORE] • 2:00 — SWAC Football Championship. Grambling vs. Jackson S...

Red Hot Flames
Ice hockey, often referred to simply as hockey in Canada, the United States and Côte d'Ivoire, is a team sport played on ice. It is a speedy and physical sport. You might enjoy it. • Why Do You Love Me? Why Do You Need Me? Always And Forever... Dion Phaneuf scored the go-ahead goal midway through ...

TRAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!
The NBA Closer is written by me. I only kept this awkward italicized intro here so I could link to The Basketball Jones podcast. What? Those hits put food on the table, man. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed while sitting in a giant inflatable snow globe ... • College Football. Appalachian St. becomes Div. I-AA's first three-peat champs. • NBA. Rip City re-rising; Blazers win sixth straight 99-91 over Utah. • NHL. Bloody Alexei Ponikarovsky scores two; Leafs thrash Atlanta 4-0. (And yes,...

Pity Poor Roger Clemens
• We remind you to keep the submissions coming for the ESPN Accountability Record. • How long is 23 months in dog years? • That bitchin' ESPN holiday party. • An outstanding Jamboroo that you might have missed in all the Mitchell Report business. • Oh, yes: That. • We hate "guarantees." • Rick Reill...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you write thank-you notes for all of your Mitchell Report Day presents ... • College football: NCAA Division I Championship Subdivision playoffs, championship game, Appalachian State vs. Delaware, Chattanooga, Tenn. The real BCS title game. [ESPN2] • NBA: Orlando at Charlotte; Los A...

Eric Mangini's 115th Dream
Eric Mangini is not inherently a likable character. He's schlubby, he's obsessive and he always looks exhausted. He was on "The Sopranos;" that's about all we can come up with, positively. But everyone will be rooting for him Sunday....

Inmate Sues Schrutebag For "Ear Poisoning"
We know we said that we weren't gonna mention the Schrutebag anymore. But we're afraid circumstances today make it impossible to avoid. We apologize....

Who'll Be The Next Playmate Of The Year?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next four Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FOUR left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....

We're Finished!
Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? We have a competition in us; we want no one else to succeed. We hate most people. There are times when we look at people and we see nothing worth liking. We've built up our hatreds over the years little by little. We see the worst in people....

Hey Kids! It's The Deadspin Crossword Puzzle!
If you know this site, then you know that we're all about puzzles. And what better way to shake off the Mitchell Report Blues than to tackle a crossword? Yes, it's the first Deadspin Crossword Puzzle, and it appears after the jump. And the great part is that you helped create it. All of those Deadsp...

Love Those Dolphins!
• A Dolphins fan sticks by his boys. [Shot To Nothing] • China will not let you mess with their corporate sponsors. [Lion In Oil] • The NHL stats channel. [Going Five Hole] • Pretty awesome facial hair on Greivis Vasquez. [Mr. Irrelevant] • The sad, lonely, 'roiding Pirate. [Where Have You Gone, And...

Year In Review: April
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with April. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...
