l Page 7740 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 1
Let's all give it up to Mac G at Big Ten Poon for singlehandedly making OSU/Michigan slightly less than intolerable. The game still sucks, but at least we've got something to look at while sit idly by waiting for some good games to be beamed onto our televisions. Without further ado, here's the Hugh...

Coach Cal Defeats Coach Calhoun, Cancer
Both Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts notched career highs in scoring en route to Memphis's 81-70 win over Connecticut in the finals of the 2K Sports College Hoops Classic benefiting Coaches Versus Cancer. Douglas-Roberts led the way with 33 points to put away Jim Calhoun's Huskies in the se...

This Is Why People Hate High School
Everybody knows that the only thing on earth better than cheerleaders are cheerleaders who flash some ass. Despite this universal understanding the Modesto City Gestapo School Board are allowing cheerleaders to be suspended for flashing their panties....

Television! Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover
• 12:00 — La Liga: Real Madrid vs. Mallorca [Gol TV] • 12:00 — CFB: Ohio State at Michigan [ABC] • 12:00 — CFB: Northwestern at Illinois [ESPN] • 12:45 — Movie: Election [Showtime] • 1:00 — Euro 2008 Qualifying: Israel vs. Russia [FCS] • 2:30 — "CFB": Duke at Notre Dame [NBC] • 3:00 — Classic Boxing...

Did you know that Hugh V was the Duke of Burgundy? Well maybe if you'd gone to Duke you would have. In other news, Duke fans are actually going to be pissed if they lose to Notre Dame today. Wait, does Duke have football fans? Are you one of them and would you care to comment? Well here's your chanc...

Wilkins Scores 41, Hawks Lose...Seems Familiar
Of course the Wilkins in question is Seattle's Damien, not his uncle Dominique formerly of the Atlanta Hawks. The veteran busted out for 41 points in the Super Sonics second consecutive win on the heels of an 8-game losing streak. Damien's outburst was eventually overshadowed, but you'd think he'd b...

Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....

About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the end with your comrades... • NBA: LeBron James is really starting to get a hang of this basketball thing. I think he just got fouled again. • CFB: Hawaii pulled one out of their ass without Colt Brennan. Can I go to bed now? Sleep is where I'm a viking. • CBB: ...

If It's November, It Must Be SHOTY Time
• Welcome, 2007 SHOTY! • See Digger Phelps act. • A fun week for Aubrey Huff. • Look, the book has a cover! • Stephon Marbury fever. Catch it. • The Lambeau ... ow! • I - L - L! • Welcome "back," A-Rod. • Marching bands are cool. Really. • Down goes Oregon. • Barry. Barry. Barry....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when not even Subserviant Chicken will obey your requests ... • College football: Hawaii at Nevada. Honolulu and Reno ... practically identical in every way. [ESPN2] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, at New York, third-place game; Championship game (Memphis vs. UCo...

All Aboard The Marbury Express
Someone told us this morning that Stephon Marbury is basketball's version of "30 Rock"'s Tracy Jordan. This makes a lot of sense to us. You get a sense that, deep down, each is probably a good-hearted person, but they're so many different kinds of crazy that it doesn't even matter. And they're almos...

Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....

What Group of People Will Phil Jackson Offend Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Mom And Me Versus You And Dad
She's a very risky writer, Lili. Very racy. Exhibiting her c—t in that fashion is very racy. We mean, Lili has her influences in post modern literature, it's a bit derivative of Kafka, but for a student, very racy. Did you get that it was her c—t?...

The Last Chapter Of The Aubrey Huff Saga
Just to wrap up this whole Aubrey Huff and naked people business (NSFW), here's one last shot, of everybody's favorite porny Oriole, with the charming Melissa Midwest (also NSFW). Godspeed, Mr. Huff: We bet now, even you can find some place to party in Baltimore after 9 p.m....

The Indestructible Baseball Player
• Baseball players are better at staying alive than you are. [Gelf Magazine] • Rece Davis, having some porn fun. [Awful Announcing] • Man, this guy spent an awfully long time putting this Roethlisberger vs. the Patriots Flash game together. [Doubt About It] • The 2007 Baseball Douchies! [UmpBump] • ...

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

This Is Pretty Much Why God Invented Sports Bars, We Reckon
We don't know what hell like, or who exactly is there (aside from all the sports agents). But here's a pretty good guess: There's nonstop karaoke, the only beverage is Tabasco sauce and at the top of the hour everyone gets hit in the face with a custard pie. That sounds about right. But at a sports ...

Not A Good Night To Be A Duck
With everything else going on and dominating those sports pages of ours, it almost passed notice that the BCS race imploded again last night with Oregon's loss to Arizona. It also obliterated Dennis Dixon's Heisman chances; he's not likely to play the rest of the season. All told, a rather eventful ...