l Page 7840 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony Romo's Heart Will Go On
Ladies, it's useless to resist; the smooth musical stylings of Tony Romo are destined to capture your heart. The American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament is over, but left behind is this treasured memento, taken at the Center Stage Club at Harrah's Lake Tahoe on Saturday night. I will not rest un...

The Red Sox Sewing Circle Now Officially Includes Simmons
We don't quite understand all the weird little in-jokes and politics of Boston Red Sox baseball, and, for this, we find ourselves rather fortunate. So maybe a Sox fan can translate this for us, because, apparently, NESN broadcaster Jerry Remy ripped into The Sports Feller on the Boston broadcast las...


It's All About Ookie Today
OK, so the dust has settled from the big Michael Vick indictment. Let's go through the highlights for you....

The Duke Can Beat You In Many, Many Ways
I admit to being no huge fan of the designated hitter rule. I like that fact that there is at least one pronounced difference between the leagues, but baseball is all about my nine vs. your nine ... and that includes the lazy-ass pitcher (I'm talking about you, Clemens). If the NL had the DH, then w...

About Last Night ...
What you missed during your shocking slapfest ... • MLB: All hail El Duque, stealer of bases, and of our hearts! Mets 7, Padres 0. • Tour de France: Top o' the world, ma! Juan Mauricio Soler pedals nimbly through the Alps. • Pan Am Games: OK, question. If I e-mailed Shawn Johnson to congratulate her...

The Braves Know What Their Fans Want
After all this super-secret-memo and banned-monologue business today, it's probably fitting to wrap matters up with something we can all come together on: BEER....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the father, son and the holy ghost catch the last train for the coast ... • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 9, Val-d'Isere to Briancon, France. Can you deal with Enhanced Prime? [Versus] • WNBA: Minnesota at Connecticut; Seattle at Phoenix. The excitement is palpable. [ESPN2] • MLB: ...

Michael Vick Indicted On Dogfighting Charges
Well, so much for our man Ron Mexico scrambling away from those dogfighting allegations: He was just indicted....

What ESPN DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR!
We still haven't watched the ESPYs from Sunday night, because, we dunno, it's the summer, and sometimes we like to pretend that the sun actually exists and will welcome us. From most accounts, though, the show was as tolerable as one could have hoped. We have no major issue with Jimmy Kimmel — not a...


You Cannot Handle The Truth Of Bill James
We are a longtime admirer of famed baseball thinker Bill James. (We might make fun of Rob Neyer a bit around here, but we — like a lot of you, we suspect — have Neyer to thank for our initial awareness of James' work.) He opened our eyes to so many new concepts in the game we love, and, all told, we...

ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Sometimes we forget, in all the frustrations and angst that watching ESPN causes us, that Bristol really is just an office. An office with a cafeteria, a human resources department, water coolers, parking spaces and football analysts who take pictures of their penis. It's like all of our offices. So...


Minneapolis Seemed Quiet Last Night
• Some serious trouble with the Golden Gophers. [10,000 Takes] • What does Jason Kendall really bring to the Cubs? [Cobra Brigade] • More proof that you should just root for The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. [Liberal Jew] • Strange mouthpieces. Really. [100 Percent Injury Rate] • On Derek J...

China Will Not Make It Rain
This had been rumored for a while, but it appears the Chinese government is really going through with this: They're really going to try to control the weather during next year's Olympics using rockets....

Ruminations On Scott Van Pelt
So we've been receiving a little bit of blowback after our rather inexplicable appearance on ESPN Radio with Scott Van Pelt on Friday. Mainly, we think people wanted us to have some sort of Jon Stewart on "Crossfire" moment; during our brief appearance on the airwaves, we should have, apparently, go...

A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...