l Page 7982 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baseball Players Hitting Each Other With Chairs
For those of you who pay attention to such matters, TNA wrestling is having some sort of pay-per-view event this weekend that will feature "Team Pierzynski" vs. "Team Eckstein." That's A.J. Pierzynski and David Eckstein, two people who have never been in our kitchen. In this "promo" clip, Pierzynski...

This Looks Like A Job For Jack Bauer
OK, Grandma ... put your hands in the air ... slowly ... step away from the bingo machine ... put down the knitting needles ... we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. It's your choice....

Like A Blind Man At An Orgy, We Were Going To Have To Feel Our Way Through
We like our sex the way we play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible....

Motorized Vehicles And Elastics: A Match Made In Heaven
Of things we would never agree to do, this almost tops the list (Venezuelan drug mule still reigns at No. 1). But this adventurous lass is all on board. You rock, Amber!...

Blogdome: Oden, Or Durant? It Begins
• Is it too early to start deciding whom to draft between Oden and Durant? [Complete Sports] • Landon Donovan, alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic. [Soccernista] • When announcers hit on coaches. [Larry Brown Sports] • A hissy fit from Brian Cook? Really? [Squeeze Play Sports] • They're looking at USC...

This Comment Has Not Been Rated
Perhaps in response to our curiosity as to why the word "gay" was being blocked from "ESPN Conversation" yesterday, the fine gents at Gelf Magazine called ESPN to find out what the deal was. It's clear they haven't quite worked all the kinks out of Conversation yet....

Albert Pujols Knows Who Wrote The Star-Spangled Banner
A few years ago, Red Sox dingbat Manny Ramirez garnered some rare positive press for becoming an American citizen and carrying an American flag through the outfield. Wednesday, Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols became an American citizen by acing his citizenship test, scoring a perfect 100 perce...

Will Barbaro Go To Heaven? It's Up To You
Barbaro is still dead, of course, but even so he needs your help more than ever. The Lexington Herald-Leader is asking readers to vote on whether Barbaro will go to Heaven. We have no idea why the Herald-Leader gets to decide ... sometimes religion confuses us....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Recruiting with Craig Haubert: Honey, why is Reggie Bush peeking into our son's bedroom window? • 2 p.m. Bracketology with Joe Lunardi: The top bracket has collapsed! My God, it's all crumbling! Run for your lives! • 4 p.m. NFL ...

NBA Stars Handling Amaechi News With Typical Grace And Aplomb
As the ESPN blitz ramps up for all John Amaechi, all the time over the next week, they've been helpfully compiling current athlete and coach reactions to Amaechi's "revelation." As you might suspect, most players have been coached to say, "Hey, no problem, all good, I just want to win," but, inevita...

Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....

Jay Mariotti Can't Figure Out Why Everyone's So NEGATIVE
We enjoyed the countless emails we received yesterday informing us that "Around The Horn" host Tony Reali — an affable fellow whom we imagine being ultra intense about rec league softball, for some reason — yelled out "don't take my Deadspin away from me" at the end of the program yesterday. (Shocki...

NBA Roundup: Gearing Up For Playoff Run
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed while putting on your pantyhose ... • NHL: Pick me last, huh? Colorado's Karlis Skrastins gets the last laugh. Avs get Thrashed, however. • College women's basketball: What is the men's basketball you speak of? Duke beats North Carolina. • NBA: Rise of the Pistons ... Detroit 93, LA ...

The Happy Underbelly Of Recruiting
On a slow news day today, we hark back again to the madness of recruiting day yesterday, not from the fans' or coaches' perspectives ... but from the players'. The grand minds at Every Day Should Be Saturday take a look at what the recruiting process means to high school kids, in a hypothetical firs...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you mourn the loss of Anna Nicole ... • Auto racing: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Budweiser Shootout Selection Show, at Daytona Beach, Fla. We've just discovered that there is something called NASCAR Fantasy League. God, why hast thou forsaken us? [Speed Channel] • College basketball: Notre D...

Tony Romo Gets Back On The Horse
So it's bad enough that Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo still plans on being at the Pro Bowl this weekend, after that rather unfortunate misstep that ended Bill Parcells' coaching career and brought shame upon the great Eastern Illinois University. But guess what? They're actually gonna ask him to hol...

Leftovers: Stay Sad, San Diego
• That's the end of the San Diego Surf Dawgs, at least for now. [Sign On San Diego] • Please, please somebody let Juan Gone back in MLB. [Steroid Nation] • Everybody come see Michael Irvin speak at a Las Vegas church. [Central Christian Of Las Vegas] • Juan Uribe could have himself a busy year. [Fou...

Man, That Commenting Feature Is Totally ####
So after all the fun everybody had with ESPN "Conversation" last week, we thought we'd check back in today and see how it was all going over there. And we found something fascinating: They have a program that specifically censors the word "gay."...

Blythe: Billy Packer's Greatest Moment
We are quite honored today to welcome once again Will Blythe, the former literary editor of Esquire and author of the great book "To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever", to the warm embrace of Deadspin. (We interviewed Blythe about the book when it came out in hardcover. The paperback is out now....