l Page 7993 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim Duncan is Not Tall Enough
Dwight Howard is getting all the credit for this, and sure ... Dwight Howard's freakish abilities speak for themselves. But how about that lob from Hedo Turkoglu? Magic Johnson couldn't have done it better. Picture perfect. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's the best contribution to basket...

Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas Need a Timeout
Someday, the Washington Wizards are going to bring in a decent center, and he's going to kick both of their asses. Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas reportedly got into a fight at practice, which would make their third fight over the last two years....

About Last Night...
• NBA: Cavs 103, Heat 79. LeBron with 29, Wade with 27 ... Miami's roleplaying center with the funny name had 14. • NBA: Magic 106, Spurs 104. Dwight Howard finishes the rare inbounds, buzzer-beating alley-oop ... J.J. Redick with a career high 16. • College Basketball: Lipscomb 70, Belmont 60. Come...

Week In Review: You Can't HANDLE John Amaechi!
• We welcomed the great Will Blythe to these here parts. • To repeat: We feel bad for this guy's little brother. • A look at Harold Reynolds' contract. • A.J. Daulerio filed his last report from Miami and then took a well-earned vacation. Look out for Stu! • Hello, Santiago! • Ron Zook, kicking your...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying the convenience and comfort of your super-absorbant astronaut adult undergarment ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Eddie Chambers vs. Derrick Rossy, at Selden, N.Y. Aww, they're eating the same Snickers bar. We want our money back. [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Bu...

Zidane, Red Bulls, Head Butt ... Get It?
No, you weren't seeing things: That was French soccer star Zinedine Zidane sitting next to you at Stage Door Deli. Rumors are swirling once again that he's close to signing with the Red Bulls of the MLS, which shouldn't surprise anyone. His stock is way up after the World Cup head-butt, at least in ...

Leftovers: Could This Explain The DirectTV Move?
• What's MLB up to? They might be getting themselves ready for an Interactive IPO. [Yahoo Business] • Russell Crowe would rather not have cheerleaders around here. [FanIQ] • Bud Selig opines about everything and nothing at all. [Steroid Nation] • Daniel Snyder is buying up all the hot franchises. [G...

Baseball Players Hitting Each Other With Chairs
For those of you who pay attention to such matters, TNA wrestling is having some sort of pay-per-view event this weekend that will feature "Team Pierzynski" vs. "Team Eckstein." That's A.J. Pierzynski and David Eckstein, two people who have never been in our kitchen. In this "promo" clip, Pierzynski...

This Looks Like A Job For Jack Bauer
OK, Grandma ... put your hands in the air ... slowly ... step away from the bingo machine ... put down the knitting needles ... we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. It's your choice....

Like A Blind Man At An Orgy, We Were Going To Have To Feel Our Way Through
We like our sex the way we play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible....

Motorized Vehicles And Elastics: A Match Made In Heaven
Of things we would never agree to do, this almost tops the list (Venezuelan drug mule still reigns at No. 1). But this adventurous lass is all on board. You rock, Amber!...

Blogdome: Oden, Or Durant? It Begins
• Is it too early to start deciding whom to draft between Oden and Durant? [Complete Sports] • Landon Donovan, alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic. [Soccernista] • When announcers hit on coaches. [Larry Brown Sports] • A hissy fit from Brian Cook? Really? [Squeeze Play Sports] • They're looking at USC...

This Comment Has Not Been Rated
Perhaps in response to our curiosity as to why the word "gay" was being blocked from "ESPN Conversation" yesterday, the fine gents at Gelf Magazine called ESPN to find out what the deal was. It's clear they haven't quite worked all the kinks out of Conversation yet....

Albert Pujols Knows Who Wrote The Star-Spangled Banner
A few years ago, Red Sox dingbat Manny Ramirez garnered some rare positive press for becoming an American citizen and carrying an American flag through the outfield. Wednesday, Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols became an American citizen by acing his citizenship test, scoring a perfect 100 perce...

Will Barbaro Go To Heaven? It's Up To You
Barbaro is still dead, of course, but even so he needs your help more than ever. The Lexington Herald-Leader is asking readers to vote on whether Barbaro will go to Heaven. We have no idea why the Herald-Leader gets to decide ... sometimes religion confuses us....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Recruiting with Craig Haubert: Honey, why is Reggie Bush peeking into our son's bedroom window? • 2 p.m. Bracketology with Joe Lunardi: The top bracket has collapsed! My God, it's all crumbling! Run for your lives! • 4 p.m. NFL ...

NBA Stars Handling Amaechi News With Typical Grace And Aplomb
As the ESPN blitz ramps up for all John Amaechi, all the time over the next week, they've been helpfully compiling current athlete and coach reactions to Amaechi's "revelation." As you might suspect, most players have been coached to say, "Hey, no problem, all good, I just want to win," but, inevita...

Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....

Jay Mariotti Can't Figure Out Why Everyone's So NEGATIVE
We enjoyed the countless emails we received yesterday informing us that "Around The Horn" host Tony Reali — an affable fellow whom we imagine being ultra intense about rec league softball, for some reason — yelled out "don't take my Deadspin away from me" at the end of the program yesterday. (Shocki...
