lame Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Italy Beats Germany In Soccer, Vulgar Newspaper Headlines
Ahead of their Euro semifinal match yesterday, one German paper stuck a bunch of Italian players on a pizza and called it an insult. They don't know from insults. The Italians? They know insults....

If You Don't Like Bacon On Your Hamburger, Then Screw You
Let's talk about hamburgers for moment, because they're delicious. They're big and moist, and when that little mixture of beefy juices and ketchup runoff goes sliding down your hand and you quickly lick it up like a porn star—well now that's quite a moment. And you know what makes a hamburger even b...

A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...

Jarome Iginla Is Flabbergasted By Reporter's Repeated Question That's Not Actually A Question
"Setting up the play. Setting up the play. Setting up the play. Setting up the play."...

Beer Down In Calgary!
Lee Stempniak transmitted a check through Alexander Edler and the plexiglass to knock a crisp frosty brew out of the hands of one unlucky fan, who really should have waited for a break in the action to walk back to his front row seats, the entitled jackass. And if you're with that guy behind you, ...

There Were Two Buzzer-Beaters In The NHL Last Night
Ryan McDonagh's putback after a Dan Girardi prayer caromed behind the net gave the Rangers a 3-2 win in overtime. Dany Heatley's bad-angle flick off of Nikolai Khabibulin's chest at the end of regulation salvaged a point for Minnesota, and eventually a second one with a shootout win. Both goals we...

Here's Your First Bloodied-Face Picture Of The New NHL Season
Presenting Tim Jackman, of the Calgary Flames, from last night's season-opener against the Pittsburgh Penguins. Jackman didn't score any points in the Flames's 5-3 loss, but he did serve a two-minute minor for too many men on the ice. H/T to tipster Noah D., who reports "Jackman actually went in fo...

The Iron Sheik Thinks There's Something You Should Know About Hulk Hogan
Some grudges die hard. Happy Independence Day, from the Sheik....

Here Are A Bunch Of Photos Of A Fiery NHRA Crash
Photographer Mark Rebilas sent over these bad-ass shots of NHRA Pro Mod driver Roger Burgess totally wrecking his '67 Firebird ride at 220 mph after crossing the Bristol Dragway finish line. Dude's a 60-year-old millionaire, says Rebilas, so $100,000 loss ain't no thang. If this is your type of thi...

The New Olympic Torch Is "An Expensive, Designer Cheesegrater"
Behold its elegant fluted shape, the 8,000 fine-bore holes punched in the golden chain mail of its noble aluminum frame — each orifice representing one of the good and decent runners who will course across the UK and Ireland bearing the almighty flame to its final burn site in London. The majesty of...

Mystery Solved: Middle-Aged Canucks Fans Threw Fish On Saddledome Ice
From the "NHL is not a minor league" Dept.: some mystery folks at Pengrowth Scotiabank Saddledome threw a big-ass salmon on the ice during Saturday night's game. Nearly ruined Hockey Night in Canada....

Short White Guy Is On His Way To The College Dunk Contest
Jacob Tucker's strategy of putting his dunk reel on YouTube has paid off, with two million views and the attention of the NCAA. But the 5'11" Tucker ("probably 5'10½"," he says) will need to take down one more small-school dunker to get into the contest....

Flamengo Fans Slightly Excited About Ronaldinho
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Final Chapter
The World Cup ends this weekend, so let's take one last look at cultural and historical milestones being rudely — and humorously — interrupted by that most noble of African horns, the vuvuzela....

Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: Act IV
It's Friday, which means it's time to tack on a vuvuzela to various indelible moments in world and cultural history. Enjoy and suggest more for next week's final edition....

Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Third One (NSFW-ish)
Last week — and the week before that — we put together a video of great moments in world and cultural history in which the vuvuzela makes a noisy cameo. Well, we did it again....

World Cup Open Thread: Brazil-Ivory Coast
"The Group Of Death" showdown that you've been waiting for has arrived. Can Brazil bounce back after their "loss" to the mighty Bad Korea? Does Drogba get the start for Les Éléphants? Should be a scorcher. Comment and follow the action....

Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Sequel
Last week, we compiled several great moments in history, film, and the internet and set them to the now-iconic buzzing of the vuvuzela. Here's a sequel. Please add your suggestions in the comments below. We'll do another of these soon....

Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: A Video Retrospective
By now you should be familiar with the vuvuzela, whose buzzing has become the unofficial anthem of the World Cup. Here's a compilation of great moments in history, film, and the internet that may or may not have been improved by vuvuzelas....

Weekend Loser: Adam Jones
Orioles centerfielder Adam Jones was wrongly detained by Canadian authorities Thursday night in the first example of Canada's No Criminal Baseball Players Allowed rule, likely because he shares his name with a troublemaking footballer/video game....