lame Page 74 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Americans Ready To Embrace Soccer For 16th Consecutive Year
Yep, the nation's quadrennial fascination with the strange sport it doesn't understand means that once again the U.S. is this close to fully embracing the beautiful game. Any year now.... [CNN]...

NHL Games Get Dirty Dirtier
Who says characterless arenas don't have home field advantage? Thanks to lasers and "lost" replays, Vancouver and Pittsburgh have been able to get a leg up on the competition...

Hockey Team Dooms Children, Elderly
Because the prairie provinces are generally uncontroversial, and those few controversies are always hockey-related, the latest media storm in Calgary is due to the Flames jumping the line to receive the swine flu vaccine....

Theo Fleury Admits He Was Abused By Junior Coach
Hockey observers had long suspected that something was not right with former Calgary star Theo Fleury and now he admits in a new book what they knew all along—he was sexually abused by youth hockey coach Graham James....

Favre-esque Goat Led To Slaughter In Trunk Of A Car
Mechanics in Minnesota were slightly alarmed this weekend when a woman came in for a new fan belt and then announced that she had a live goat—that was also a effigy of Brett Favre—in her trunk....

Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...

Journeyman Wide Receivers Make You Question Your Mortality
Derrick Mason retired yesterday. He is my favorite Spartan football player of all time. We both graduated from Michigan State in the same year. He had a productive 12-year NFL career. I do this....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum....

The Way We Live Now
Calgary trades a defenseman who'll be an unrestricted free agent on Wednesday for...another defensemen who'll be an unrestricted free agent on Wednesday. [AP]...

Another Strong Argument For Blacking Out Local NHL Games
So you make one little bomb threat — or three — during a hockey game, and suddenly the police are at your door. Well then take me away, officer, because I thought this was a free country....

Halo Kid Vs. Red Sox Nation: WHO YA GOT?
This here's the new yet derivative Internet sensation that is Halo Kid. Obvious comparisons can be drawn to Star Wars Kid, except Halo Kid will never be referenced on Arrested Development, so the former wins. Gilbert Arenas will still be his friend though. I post this here because I didn't want to p...

Downward Facing Dog FTW!
Because National Public Radio is into recherche subjects like competitive yoga, one of their correspondents filed a story from a yoga dojo (yeah, I know that's not the right term, they're actually yoga studios *sniffs own fart* but that's froufrou) in Oregon that is at the leading edge of competiti...

Canada Would Like You To Keep Your NFL To Yourself, Thank You
This handsome, strapping young gentleperson is Canadian Senator James Campbell. He's for the legalization of marijuana — obviously; come on, look at him! — and is known as a bit of a nationalist. How much so? He says the NFL should be banned from Canada because it threatens the CFL....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

NHL Playoff Preview: The Twos Meets The Sevens
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...

Senator Asks NFL To Recognize Additional Team For Mercury Morris To Taunt
Every current NFL city has at least played in or hosted a Super Bowl, with the exception of ... you guessed it, Cleveland. So I guess there's no reason to discuss them at hahaha I had you going there for a second....

Today's Picto-Tube Schedule
Terrelle Pryor is one of the featured athletes on display in today's U.S. Army All-American Bowl at 1:00 pm on NBC. Continue after the jump for the rest of the day's best television offerings....


Shane Matthews Is Causing You Phone Spam
It's becoming difficult to tell all these new upstart football leagues apart. There's Mark Cuban's, there's the other AFL, there's that weird one with Maurice Clarett that never got off the ground ... there's just a ton of them....

Beer That Makes You SKINNY!
During the NHL Playoffs, your fans need to bust out the big guns if they're going to appropriately cheer your team onto victory. Your normal selection of Molson and elk bile isn't gonna do it; you're gonna need to start chugging the heroin beer....