According to Colorado police, Lance Armstrong literally hit two parked cars with his car in Aspen, and figuratively threw his girlfriend under the bus.

With the Beer Mile World Championships rapidly approaching on December 3, interest in the event is peaking. Lance Armstrong, who probably doesn't have a lot to do these days, decided to give it a try. Surprisingly, one of the world's greatest athletes can't drink and run for shit.

Justin Gatlin, track and field's most controversial athlete of 2014, has had a doozy of a last few weeks. And he's not even running currently.

A group of long-distance triathlon fans has raised funds for an unofficial finishing prize at Sunday's Ironman Lake Placid. They've done it, one of its leaders says, in protest of Ironman's shitty prize structure at some of its races. And now even Lance Armstrong is in on it.

Nice story over at Grantland by Bryan Curtis on the never-ending sagas of Armstrong, Tyson and Rose:

Behind all the overwrought drug war rhetoric that gets brought to bear on the subject of doping in sports, there are the simple calculations that Lance Armstrong lays out in this unused clip from the documentary The Armstrong Lie, which for all its brevity offers about the most precise explanation of what the problem…

Now that Lance Armstrong has been humbled and faced a defamation lawsuit or three, it's pretty much open season on the disgraced cyclist. Every allegation with even the slightest credibility can be brought without fear of retribution, and they very well might be true—Armstrong's got more than a decade of dirt ripe for…

A federal judge has ruled in favor of Lance Armstrong, who is being sued by a group of people who purchased his books. They claim Armstrong committed fraud by writing that his successes were the result of hard work and perseverance, and not enough PEDs to send even the gentle dugong on a murderous rampage.

Lance Armstrong is facing a lawsuit claiming he defrauded team sponsor US Postal Service out of millions of dollars. Armstrong's lawyers have fired back, claiming the government shouldn't collect because it should have seen all those media reports about Armstrong doping.

It's a whole new Lance! A "nothing left to lose" Lance. An "I'm a scoundrel, like all the rest" Lance. An "I don't need or want your fucking love" Lance. And he's here to drop some truth bombs.

The plucky wristband-manufacturer (and cancer-awareness-raiser), has lost its second benefactor in less than a year: with Lance Armstrong already out of the picture, Nike has decided to end its nine-year partnership with Livestrong.

Comedian April Macie is a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Show, and on Monday morning she joined Stern to dish some gossip about disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong. Specifically, she told Stern that Armstrong once asked her to lick his butt in a hotel bathroom.

But how??

Lance Armstrong is still talking about Lance Armstrong and all that now entails, including shame, forgiveness and heroes.