last-night Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Goals, Goals, Goals
Here are the highlights of the Lightning/Flyers game; they're about 40 minutes long. That's because the teams managed to combine for 15 goals, all but one of them coming in the first two periods....
Last Night's Winner: The Memory Of Sam Bowie
Greg Oden's done, which means we're consigned to another year of summoning the spirit of sad old Sam Bowie from whatever well he's fallen down. Anyone tempted to compare the two similarly star-crossed, but otherwise totally different players should consider the following:...
Last Night's Winner: Michael Vick, Obviously
That was just a spanking, wasn't it? And if you don't think Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg purposefully drew up a game plan that could have been codenamed "Our QB Is Better," then you must not have been paying attention....
Weekend Winner: The NHL's Petty Tyrant
Entered as evidence in a wrongful termination filing by a former referee are a series of emails from NHL Director of Hockey Operations Colin Campbell. He appears alternately juvenile, incompetent and biased. Business as usual....
Last Night's Winner: Saying N-O To Lingerie Football In OKC
Sorry Oklahoma City. If you want to watch a bunch of struggling models play a loose simulacrum of football, you'll just have to watch it on TV like everybody nobody else....
Last Night's Winner: John Wall's Eventual, Inevitable Quintuple-Double
It took young Mr. Wall all of six games to put together his first career triple-double, a thing of beauty even against the hapless Rockets. He also had six steals. One day he'll put it all together with, yes, 10 turnovers....
Last Night's Winner: The Indiana Pacers' <em>NBA Jam</em> Third Quarter
When a player gets a hot hand in basketball, whether through the sheer gully-ness of Mark Price in NBA Jam or a real example, it's a sight to behold. When a whole team gets a hot hand, it's a much different phenomenon....
Last Night's Winner: The University Of Florida's Academic Integrity
It's open season on Cam Newton. Since his selection of Auburn has already been indicted as everything wrong with amateur sports, is there anything from Florida we can drag up? As it turns out, yes! A big old term paper cheating scandal....
Weekend Winner: The Resumption Of A Rivalry
My God, it's good to have the Chiefs/Raiders games mean something, isn't it? Especially when you compare it to the current state of the classic Packers/Cowboys showdown, where it looked like Green Bay starters against their taxi squad....
Last Night's Winner: The Zenyatta Bubble
Zenyatta, the undefeated 6-year-old mare who's getting the sort of soft-focus-and-tinkly-piano treatment we generally reserve for plucky little Olympic gymnasts and Bob Costas, is an 8-to-5 favorite in tomorrow's Breeders' Cup Classic, horse racing's true signature event. Bet against....
Last Night's Winner: Sidney Crosby, Tough Guy
Normally we'd anoint as last night's winner the guy who got to punch Crosby. Unfortunately for the Stars' Matt Niskanen, he kind of got his ass kicked. Dallas, can you win anything?...
Last Night's Winner: Lunatic America
So, yeah, the towering weirdos and self-styled public slapdicks are big winners yet again, and this being America, we cannot let such a momentous occasion pass without being loudly stupid about it....
Last Night's Winner: Edgar Renteria, MVP The Earl Weaver And Babe Ruth Way
It's not a shock that the Giants did it with pitching, defense and the three-run homer, as espoused by Weaver. It is a shock that the homer came from dink-hitter Edgar Renteria, and that he apparently called his shot....
Weekend Winner: Madison Bumgarner
There isn't much to say about Madison Bumgarner's performance last night that wasn't captured in the three strikeout pitches that briefly turned Vladimir Guerrero into Rob Deer. Watch....
Last Night's Winner: The Barry Bonds Redemption Tour
So Barry Bonds wants to be a hitting coach. To most of America it's a ludicrous notion, until he returns to AT&T Park for pregame festivities, and we see just how beloved he still is in San Francisco....
Last Night's Winner: Paper Champions, Written In Pencil
Yes, that's Justin Bieber wearing Phil Jackson's NBA Championship ring. That's one more ring than LeBron James or Chris Bosh have had on their fingers, despite preseason plaudits all-but-guaranteeing them a 70-win season. Just 70 more to go....
Last Night's Winner: Dumb, Vaguely Crooked Proposals To Preserve Our Quaint Ideal Of Amateurism
The hot new idea being bruited by the Coalition Of People Who Take Amateurism Seriously (Sponsored by Nike) is to levy "post-NCAA financial penalties" on professional players who ran around with agents during college, which is like the whorehouse fining the whore....
Weekend Winner: The Guy Who Won A PGA Event With A Goddamned Hole-In-One
Going into the fourth sudden-death playoff hole, tied with two other players, Jonathan Byrd teed off. That was all he needed....
Last Night's Winner: Roy Halladay's Junk
The Giants had a chance to shut the door and go back to their second World Series this decade, but Roy Halladay befuddled them. This despite what one writer so wonderfully characterized as a "barking" groin....
Last Night's Winner: Buster Posey's Seasoning
Posey happened all over the place yesterday—4-for-5 and a play at home that was something like full-contact jai alai—and it reminded us that once, before the media began handing out Fields Medals and MacArthur Grants, Brian Sabean was an idiot....