last-night Page 62 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... • Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right. • Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building. • White Sox grind Curt Sc...
About Last Night ...
Why am I on the floor, surrounded by empty malt liquor cans? And why am I dressed as a bullfighter? Will someone please bring me up to speed? ... • Spurrier wins his debut as a Gamecocksman. • Aging pitcher Tony Danza gets the win as Angels somehow pull even with A's. • We don't want another Oswalt!...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while chasing ghosts with your three friends and a large Great Dane ... • MLB: A's win seventh straight, set stage for disappointing their fans once again in playoffs. • Roddick ousted in U.S. Open despite good looks. • WNBA Playoffs: Indiana Fever beat New York Liberty. Honestly, we...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while calling for the assasination of Hugo Chavez ... • A's complete four-game sweep of Orioles. Strangely, Rafael Palmeiro seems weak and powerless lately for some reason. • Lions make it official, Have the word "hapless" painted on their helmets. • Agassi needs only 69 minutes to a...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • Puberty — nature's steroids. Hawaii wins Little League World Series. • Speaking of steroids: Giambi's 7 RBI lift Yankees. • Danica Patrick proves that women drivers are just as capable as men when it comes to ... wait, she just...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Having Nightmares About That "Ranch Tooth" In The Wendy's Commercial ... · Yankees Secure Three-Way Wildcard Tie With Cleveland And Oakland. Somewhere, Woody Allen, Drew Carey and Hammer are in a furious battle. · Cardinals Knock Magic Number Down To 26. Tony LaRussa celebrates...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Telling Your Friends Not To Tell You What You Missed On "Six Feet Under" ... · 49ers Lineman Dies. Still confusion about cause. Sean Penn investigating. · Cards' Rolen To Miss Rest Of Season. Manager Tony LaRussa consoles himself by playing with puppies. · Eli Manning's Elbow "...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While "Reorganizing Your Sock Drawer," If you Know What We Mean (Which We Don't)... · Phillies tie for wild-card lead. Ryan Howard immediately organizes holdout. · Padres storm to under .500 division lead. The pennant will be a white flag. · Mourning Returns To Heat. Funny; we have a...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Pretending Not To Watch "Cathouse" In Slow Motion ... · Giants' Randy Winn hits for cycle. Giants wake up in fourth inning, see that Bonds is still hurt, go back to sleep. · Michael Finley released by Dallas. "Mr. Finley, a 'Shack' is on the phone again. Yes, I'll take another ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trapped in a Russian sub ... · Tony Stewart: wins Indy Allstate 400. You: Can't even get parents to loan you the car. · When Cardinals' David Eckstein (5-foot-7, 165) is hitting walkoff grand slams, you know steroids are out of control. · The most interesting thing to happen in...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while below decks planning the mutiny ... · Alan Greenspan brought in to explain NBA's confusing 13-player mega deal. · A's win sixth straight, but sad to discover they're still based in Oakland. · News from dad down at the pub: Liverpool triumphs in Champions Cup....
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to that wrong turn onto the missile range ... · It's like taking away Popeye's spinach: non-chemically enhanced Orioles lose again. · T.O. takes a break from being the world's biggest shitheel to attend Eagles camp?. · A's win fifth straight, come within one game of first. We for...
About Last Night ...
What you missed when Tom Arnold showed up, drunk, wanting to talk about his love life ... · Red Sox to Ramirez: "Oh, how can we stay mad at you?" · Vijay wins Buick Open, declares himself "King of Everything." · Giambi's two totally natural, non-chemically enhanced homers lead Yankees (wink, wink)....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to convince Larry Brown to coach your son's 5th grade basketball team ... · Let's mistakenly play two: Blue Jays beat Angels in 18th inning. · Using a branch for a club and a small rock for a ball, Tiger still only seven strokes back at Buick Open. · Braves sweep Nationa...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending to your duties as Pope ... · Our long national nightmare is over: Knicks, Brown finally tie the knot. · Yankees stopped by Santana (not the band). · We are filled with shame: < ahref="http://www.suntimes.com/output/fire/cst-spt-fire28.html">AC Milan beats MLS Chicago ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed when the Pillsbury Dough Boy had you arrested for inappropriate poking · Maddux: Gets 3,000th strikeout. You: Eat 30,000th Chicken McNugget. · Phelps wins 200 free at World Swim Championships despite that meddlesome Aquaman. · Sosa mistakenly uses non-corked bat, ties Frank Robinson ...
About Last Night ...
You awoke on the front lawn with a dog licking your face and various unexplainable tattoos. We'll bring you up to speed. · OK, that idea the Red Sox had about putting Schilling in the bullpen? Not so good. · Monday Night Golf: Tiger, Daly lose to two guys who just wandered in from a nearby bar. · Al...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while setting up the world's longest line of dominos ... oops. · Armstrong can now drink a margarita out of a different Tour de France trophy every day of the week. · Busch wins Pennsylvania 500, Wallace second after stopping for a family of ducks. · Ben Crane shoots 69 to win US Ban...