last-night Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: MMA's New "Quantum Physics" Division
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like MMA champ Matt Horwich, who showed in a post-fight interview that he's the smartest man in the world. That, or he'd just been punched in the head repeatedly....
Last Night's Winner: Dodger Stadium's Landlord, The Dodgers
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Frank McCourt, who owns the stadium, yet makes his team pay an exorbitant amount of rent anyway. This is scumbaggery of the highest order, right here....
Last Night's Winner: The Miami Heat's Smothering Of Banana Man
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Heat's culture of secrecy, which forbade local media from speaking to...a fan who wears a banana suit....
Last Night's Winner: Jim Gray, Sports Zelig
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jim Gray, ubiquitous microphone toady, unlikely power broker, and apparently also something of a dick....
Last Night's Winner: Stephen Strasburg Expectations
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like our hopes and dreams for one talented rookie, which are a little more realistic this morning after he got shelled to high heaven....
Last Night's Winner: The Return Of Bill Walton
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like weird, wonderful ol' Bill Walton, at last healthy again and back to doing the thing he does best: being ridiculous in public....
Weekend Winner: A Brand New PED Excuse
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like our nation's poor, overtrained athletes like Brian Cushing, who says he flunked his drug test only because he worked out so hard....
Last Night's Winner: The Case For Robot Umpires
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fallibility of man, or at least of third base umpire Bob Davidson, whose blown call cost the Marlins the game....
Last Night's Winner: Bankruptcy Auction Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the reporters working the Texas Rangers bankruptcy auction, who got quite a showdown last night between two of the biggest figures in Texas sports....
Last Night's Winner: Party In The UGA
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the University of Georgia's freshman orientation video, which forces us to invent new words to describe it, because "awful" and "embarrassing" are no longer cromulent enough....
Last Night's Winner: Akron, But Not Cleveland. No, Never Cleveland.
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the fine people of Akron, Ohio, who received thanks from LeBron James in a full-page newspaper ad that didn't happen to mention Cleveland or the Cavaliers....
Weekend Winner: Media Members In Better Shape Than Albert Haynesworth
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like various DC-area media members, who took a shot at completing the Redskins' conditioning test that the disgruntled Haynesworth has been unable to pass....
Last Night's (And Every Night's) Winner: Soccer Players Who Don't Live In North Korea
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like World Cup squads not from secretive despotic nations, who probably weren't subjected to a six-hour public humiliation upon their return from South Africa like the North Koreans were....
Last Night's Winner: The Jews
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the People of the Book, who, in addition to controlling the media, now control the paint at MSG thanks to Amar'e Stoudemire's newfound faith....
Last Night's Winner: Cum Husks?
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the wholly baffling sign at last night's Phillies game, which has the Internet abuzz with speculation....
Last Night's Winner: The Year Of The "Year Of The Pitcher" Stories
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all those people writing all those "year of the pitcher" stories, for whom Matt Garza's no-hitter provided more anecdotal evidence of a trend that probably doesn't exist....
Last Night's Winner: Orioles Fans, As Strange As That Sounds
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field....
Last Night's Winner: Jeremy Lin, NBA Player
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jeremy Lin, the undrafted Taiwanese-American Harvard guy who signed a two-year, partially guaranteed contract with the Warriors and immediately became the NBA's most popular 12th man....
Last Night's Winner: The NHL Growing A Pair For Once
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NHL, which by rejecting Ilya Kovalchuk's contract did the right thing; unfortunately they've been doing the wrong thing for so long, they just come off hypocritical....
Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....