lastnightswinner Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: SMU Mustangs
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like the SMU Mustangs, which exerted as much effort in scoring this prestige as they did in routing Nevada. They had no competition in either regard....
Last Night's Winner: Pointless Tradition
In sports, every one is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Utah Utes, who have won nine consecutive bowl games....every single one of them completely meaningless. We must preserve this hallowed system....
Last Night's Winner: Shopping Malls
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the megasize temple of commerce that assaulted me with annoying children, terrible seasonal music and then took all my money. You win again, Christmas....
Last Night's Winner: Tyreke Evans' Shorts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Sacramento Kings, who showed up two-and-a-half quarters late (like the fans at a Miami Heat game) and still managed to pull out a win....
Last Night's Winner: Gamblers (Half Of Them)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who had money riding on a full-strength Indianapolis team actually giving a crap against Jacksonville. If you bet the other way...there's always slot machines....
Last Night's Winner: Kobe
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kobe Bryant, who has been in much worse jams than Tiger Woods and he's doing just fine now. Can you sink putts at the buzzer?...
Last Night's Winner: Boring Guys
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, who was named Time's Person Of The Year. Finally, old white bankers get their due!...
Last Night's Winner: This Guy?
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like this Mozambique soccer fan, who is thrilled....I guess? He's either elated or just got hit with a cattle prod. It could go either way....
Last Night's Winner: Pirates Fans
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Pittsburgh's baseball fans, who don't have to be alone anymore. Cheering for championships are overrated anyway!...
Last Night's Winner: Mack Brown
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Texas coach Mack Brown, who is about to get seriously paid. This is what is known as "striking while the iron is hot."...
Last Night's Winner: Curtis Granderson
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curtis Granderson, who no longer has to carry the hopes and dreams of a shattered city on his shoulders. Plus, there's less running to do....
Last Night's Winner: Shysters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Utah Flash owner Brandt Andersen, who successfully duped 7,500 suckers into buying tickets to his arena by lying about Michael Jordan. It's a living....
Last Night's Winner: LeGarrette Blount
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Oregon's LeGarrette Blount (not pictured) who only played two games this season, but left his mark on both. And on a couple of faces....
Last Night's Winner: Losers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 1988-89 Miami Heat and the 1998-99 Clippers, who won last night because the New Jersey Nets lost....
Last Night's Winner: Mike D'Antoni
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Mike D'Antoni, whose Rich Little version of the Suns ran the real thing out of Madison Square Garden last night....
Last Night's Winner: Louisiana Building Contractors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New Orleans Saints, who smashed through the New England Patriots like they were an un-reinforced levee....
Last Night's Winner: Your Stomach
Everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like anyone who had a brined turkey and tasty, tasty sweet potatoes yesterday. And was lucky enough to have leftovers today....
Last Night's Winner: Guys Who Like Playing Time
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the six Golden State Warriors, who beat Dallas with no help from their teammates or head coach. Sort of like a regular Warriors game....
Last Night's Winner: Referee Jerome Boger
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NFL referee Jerome Boger, who must have had something riding on last night's game. Nobody likes Vince Young that much....
Last Night's Winner: Tokers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Ricky Williams and Tim Lincecum, who yesterday inhaled deeply the vapors of success. And perhaps some other stuff, too....