law Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Santonio Holmes Shows Steeler Solidarity, Gets Sued By Woman He Met In Nightclub
A woman in Florida has filed a civil suit against Holmes after an alleged nightclub incident, in which she claims he hit her in the eye with his....oh, thank goodness it was just a glass. [Courthouse News/ESPN]...

Circuit Court, Where A Kid Can Be A Kid
A patron is suing Chuck. E. Cheese's for $50,000 for injuries suffered after being hit in the head with an air hockey puck. That thing weighs like 2 ounces; who is the plaintiff, Eric Lindros? [Chicago Bar-Tender]...

Tall Car Salesman Is One Step Closer To Forever Changing College Sports
A district court judge said yesterday that Ed O'Bannon, who sells Toyotas in Nevada when he's not revolutionizing amateur athletics, can press on with his class-action licensing suit against the NCAA. Let's just pause and marvel at this anew:...

Lance Broadway and Gerald Laird Would Make An Excellent Battery
Major league journeymen sure are punchy this offseason. Former White Sox/Met and current Blue Jay minor leaguer Lance Broadway is being sued for rearranging a man's face at a New Year's Eve party in Dallas. While shirtless, of course....

John Terry's Affair With Teammate's Girl Manages To Explode English Media Law
An English high court has overturned an injunction prohibiting publishing news of Chelsea and national team captain John Terry's affair with a teammate's girlfriend. Forget the shitshow this will cause the Lions; the ramifications for the press are huge....

Three Words No NFLer Wants To Hear: Transgender Sodomy Lawsuit
Cornerback Eric Green, who's bounced around from practice squad to practice squad since being released by the Cardinals after last season, was hit with a lawsuit from a transgendered woman who claims Green forcibly sodomized her....

Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

Let's All Remember Shea Stadium, With Drunken Fatty Lawsuits
A woman is suing the Mets after an intoxicated 300-pound fan comically tumbled down several rows of seats, and not-so-comically landed on her and broke her back....

Alabama Fans Hope To Shut Down State For One Week In January
You're probably aware that the University of Alabama has canceled any classes that might possibly interfere with students' drinkingenjoyment of the BCS Championship, but now some lawyers have asked a judge to shut down the state's legal system as well....

Tiger's Now Laying 10
Your evening Tiger update: The British press has joined the fray, and the count of alleged mistresses has now jumped to double-digits: 10 in all, or eight fewer women than majors won by Jack Nicklaus....

By The Time You Read This, Another Woman Will Have Claimed To Have Had Sex With Tiger Woods
Add three (possibly four!) more wenches to the pile. For those keeping score: Jamie Jungers, 26, Trashy Girl; Mindy Lawton, 33, hotcake harlot; Cori Rist, 26, blond thing. Sports By Brooks has already watermarked every available photo of them....

The Nets And You, You Big Loser
So, Lawrence Frank, fired by New Jersey. Is sparing a coach the notoriety of completing a historic losing streak doing him a favor, or just rubbing salt in the wound?...

The New Jersey Nets Are Not Very Good At Basketball
The Nets are now sitting at 0-16 after losing to the Sacramento Kings 109-96 Friday night, leaving them one loss shy of tying the NBA record for season-opening futility, previously accomplished by the Heat (1988) and Clippers (1999)....

Dodgeball Lawsuit Makes Me Fear For The Manliness Of Our Youth
A kid got nailed in the face during a dodgeball game at his school, and now he might sue the city. Maybe he needs to sue evolution for not giving him the reflexes to survive in middle school gym class....

Makers Of Madden Face Lawsuit For Eliminating The Competition
We get it; you love Madden. You buy it every year. But wouldn't it be awesome if there were another football game available? Join this class action suit against EA, and you might get one. Or at least some cash....

And Now Some Updates On The Sean Salisbury Lawsuit
No comment, no comment. No comment no comment no comment, no comment. No comment no comment, no comment, no, comment, no comment. No comment. [Mckinney Courier-Gazette]...

Soon We'll Just Make Him Attorney General
A new team, a new jurisdiction; Shaq has applied to become a deputy sheriff in Cleveland. This shows me he's entirely unfamiliar with the city, which was long ago abandoned to lawlessness. [AP]...

Sean Salisbury's Lawsuit
It has arrived. The suit says Deadspin has cost Mr. Salisbury money, future employment, and mental stability due to its repeated malicious attacks, which Salisbury himself noted several times via his iPhone meltdown last month. All aboard....

Searching For Jose Lima: Next Stop...Dominican Republic
Lost in all the chaos of last week was the news that our half-assed search for Jose Lima at the behest of his ex-wife Melissa, may have actually proved successful. Lima Time is currently taking place for the Águilas Cibaeñas...

Cheddar Plax Jokes Get NYPD In Hot Water
You shoot yourself in the leg, people are going to say you pulled a Plaxico. Sorry, that's how it is. But one teen is suing the cops for making just that obvious joke....