lax Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Zlatan Announces Move To LA Galaxy In Most Zlatan Way Possible
As much as anything else, Zlatan Ibrahimović is so highly coveted by MLS for his ability to capture attention. While we still await an official announcement of his signing with the LA Galaxy, which by all reports is imminent, his wildly, hilariously arrogant persona is already paying dividends as ev...
Step Right Up And Feast Your Eyes On MLS's Newest Attraction, Zlatan Ibrahimović!
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, may I have your attention please! We, the proud proprietors of Major League Soccer, The Greatest Show On Earth (By 2022), would like to welcome you to another season of the thrills, spills, and wildly inequitably salary bills you can only find at our glorious es...
Tywan “Speedy” Claxton Annihilates Opponent With Flying Knee In First Pro Fight<em></em>
Tywan “Speedy” Claxton made his pro MMA debut at Bellator 186 tonight after a stellar wrestling career as an Ohio Bobcat, and he finished his bout against Jonny Bonilla-Bowman in style with a first-round flying knee. BAH GAWD....
The NFL Seems Like It Could Use A Nap
Today the NFL, which is in the middle of its offseason, announced its preseason schedule, and nearly everyone involved with the game appears to have completely lost it....
Chill With The "Journalists Are Heroes" Thing
Whoa now. Everyone take a deep breath....
Judge Orders Stop Of Some Deportations At LAX
A federal judge has issued a temporary restraining order telling U.S. Customs and Border Protection that the agency must stop enforcing part of the Muslim ban at Los Angeles International Airport. The order, issued late Tuesday by U.S. District Judge Andre Birotte Jr., did not address the entirety o...
Nobody Knows What Trump's Customs And Border Agents Are Doing At LAX
LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT — Nana Sarkisyan brought her passport with her Tuesday, just in case she had to go back to Armenia. Up until a few days ago, that was not the plan. The plan was that her husband would step off his flight, pass through customs on his immigration visa, and become a gr...
"I Don't Believe I'm In The U.S. Anymore"
LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT—It was hard to not feel enthusiastic when I first arrived Sunday at Los Angeles International Airport, although that feeling would wane by the time I left, replaced by a quote from one woman who had been reunited with her sister after five hours of detainment: “I do...
Please Enjoy This Picture Of Two Women Drinking Tea With Their Lamb
This photo of English farmer Maud Lee and her daughter Pat enjoying tea with their lamb Betty in 1949 is good, and if you’re for any reason stressed today or tonight, it will probably be worth checking out....
Lax Bros Break Tie With Rowdy Game Of Rock, Paper, Scissors
A lacrosse scrimmage between the Dayton and Western Michigan club teams was called off due to lightning on Saturday. The score was tied when the cancellation happened, and if there’s anything a lax bro hates, it’s a game ending in a tie. Fortunately, the Dayton and Western Michigan players were able...
Landon Donovan And I Would Like To Announce Our Availability For The USMNT
In some ways, Landon Donovan and I are very different people. He is an internationally famous and widely beloved MLS legend who just recently decided to unretire from the sport he was born to play and rejoin the L.A. Galaxy. I am a largely anonymous yet widely loathed MLS hater who never played prof...
Famous Old Soccer Man Comes Out Of Retirement To Join Retirement League
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a great and celebrated soccer star, who not too long ago decided he didn’t have the drive and/or talent to hack it in the sport anymore, has chosen to take his talents to the geriatric enrichment program known as MLS due to his (likely accurate) belief that, ...
![LA Galaxy Players Hit Pigeon With Ball During Warmups [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lrpgx7dj6dxju2rxx38o.jpg)
LA Galaxy Players Hit Pigeon With Ball During Warmups [Update]
A routine warmup by LA Galaxy turned into an act of bird violence before the club’s match against NYCFC Saturday....
That's Not My Name
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L.A. Galaxy Require Cheap, Fake Goal To Beat Fifth-Division Beer League Team
“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?...
Rude Orange County Lax Bros Arrested On Suspicion Of Stealing A Turkey And Taking It On A Bender
Orange County High School’s agriculture teacher Patti Williams went to check on the school’s animal pen on Sunday morning, when she made a startling discovery: Tim the Turkey was missing....
Here's A Bear That's Got His Fuckin' Priorities Straight
This bear has figured out a few important truths about his life. The first thing he’s learned is that if he sits on his big cool rock like a person, people will throw food at him. This is because people love nothing more than an bear exhibiting humanoid qualities....
Plaxico Burress Blasts Nick Saban, His College Coach
Alabama lost to Ohio State 42-35 in the Sugar Bowl, and at SEC Media Days yesterday Nick Saban advanced a bizarre theory to explain that loss. He says that team chemistry was harmed by players learning about their NFL Draft grade in the days leading up to the game, and that somehow hurt preparation....
MLS Invents New Rule To Help Big-Market Teams
Traversing MLS’s ever-shifting labyrinth of player transaction rules has always been nigh-impossible. And somehow or other, now the league has sprouted yet another alleyway to get lost in. Luckily, no matter how winding the path is, you always wind up in the same place: whatever’s best for the big-c...
Soccer Player Earns Straight Red For Double-Footed Nutshot
Sounders 2 defeated L.A. Galaxy II 1-0 last night in exciting USL action, but it was a slightly abbreviated evening for Sérgio Mota as the Brazilian midfielder earned a sending-off from the third-tier soccer match after hammering his opponent’s balls with both feet....