lax Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Plaxico Burress Saga Turning Into Awful Russian Novel
This web of lies that is surrounding Plaxico Burress and his ventilated right thigh just keeps getting wider and stickier. As of this morning, it has now ensnared his wife, two doctors, an entire hospital, half of New York's backfield, and the guy who lights the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center....

In The Club With Antonio Pierce
In case you missed it last night, Burress was suspended by the New York Giants and placed on the non-injury football list, costing him about $27 million in unpaid salary (plus fines.) The fact that he is not on an NFL roster may also make it easier for the prosecutors to hit him with that very large...

Colbert: It's High Time The Government Stays Out Of Our Sweatpants
If you think you've considered all angles of the Plaxico Burress story, think again. Stephen Colbert provides food for thought in this segment from Tuesday's Colbert Report, in which he asks the perfectly reasonable question, why should a consensual act between a man and his semiautomatic Glock hand...

Plaxico Burress Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
The New York Giants waited until the very end of the day to announce that Plaxico Burress will in fact be placed on the "non-football injury list." This is effectively a suspension that removes him from the Giants roster for the remainder of the regular season and the playoffs, and (unlike injured r...

Jon Stewart Reports That Sweatpants Do Not Make A Good Holster
I'm a little surprised that The Daily Show didn't break in with weekend coverage of the Plaxico Burress story; the whole thing seems cobbled by comedy elves just for Jon Stewart. Finally on Monday he was able to jump on it, and while not as good as Dash's efforts on this story, Stewart did not disap...

Breaking!: Plaxico Burress May Have A Sore Leg
An urgent SportsCenter update has just informed the world that Plaxico Burress showed up to work today, less than 24 hours after facing the horrors of central booking at the One Seven. The notorious skel (hey, I've seen NYPD Blue) reported to the Giants training facility this morning, per team rules...

Drew Rosenhaus Is A Master At The Art of Circumlocution
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Gun Safety Tips From Plaxico Burress
If you're looking for a bedtime story for your children tonight, may we suggest the felony criminal complaint of one Plaxico M. Burress. (It needs the initial, don't you think?) It's very short, but also very compelling and there's a life lesson in there for all of us. Namely, put down the wine befo...

Plaxico Burress Takes The Perp Walk
A loyal Deadspin reader who we will call "Ray," waited out the 17th Precinct in Midtown Manhattan today to catch one of the most time-honored traditions in sports—the athlete perp walk. Citizen journalism!...

Plaxico Burress Update: He Still Has A Hole In His Leg
Do you remember a couple of years ago when Dick Cheney shot that guy and the basic facts of story were so utterly ridiculous that all you had to do was say "The Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face" and that counted as both a joke and a serious analysis of the situation? That's...

Is This A Trick Question?
Thanks to reader Pete for the ESPN screen cap - you just made Rick Chandler's day. Yes, it's been quite a weekend for Plaxico Burress. A lot has happened since that fateful moment outside the Latin Quarter on late Friday night, when he told teammate Antonio Pierce, "Lemme meet you inside. I just hav...

Your Plaxico Burress Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound Update
So a few more details seem to be emerging about the bizarre "Plaxico shot himself at a club" story. The New York Post is now reporting that the incident took place just after midnight on Friday at a club called Latin Quarter in Manhattan, while Plax was out on the town with teammate Antonio Pierce. ...

Plaxico Burress Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg
Yep, you read that right. Jay Glazer is reporting that sometime last night, Burress fired a gun into his own leg and spent the night in hospital, but that the injuries are non life-threatening. More, obviously, as more becomes available. UPDATE: Apparently John Clayton is reporting the incident too...

Plaxico Burress Has Tardiness Issues
When the New York Giants suspended Plaxico Burress last week, everyone sort of assumed it had to be something more nefarious than simple "insubordination"—like those domestic disturbance calls to his home or maybe short-selling Lehman Brothers. It turns out that it was just because he didn't show up...

OSU Lacrosse Goalie Makes Sport Watchable, If Briefly
I grew up in Maryland, where lacrosse is the official team sport (The official individual sport? Jousting. Yes, Maryland is retarded. I'm sure they'll change the team sport to Quidditch before the decade is out). There, lacrosse is all the rage with white guys and the rare black dude who listens to...

Scouts, Inc. Would Like You TO RELAX
Ian from Sox & Dawgs sends over this screengrab of a tetchy exchange during ESPN's draft chat. What could Samantha in Atlanta be so interested in finding out? Determining how screwed the Falcons are with Matty Ice? Whether Al Horford can transfer his anger to the game of football?...

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, NFL Network. NFL Europa. Frankfurt Galaxy @ Berlin Thunder. 12:00, USA. The Starter Wife. 12:00, ESPN. College Softball. DePaul vs. Arizona State. 1:00, NBC. Tennis. French Open. Men's and Women's Third Rounds. 2:00, ESPN. College Softball. Texas A&M vs. Baylor. 2:30, Fox Soccer. Euro 2008 Qu...

If There Is No Poontang For Plax, Then Plax Is Leaving
According to the New York Post's Page Six, Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress had a difficult time breaking through the coverage last night....

Excuse Me Sir, Is That A Beach Ball? <i>Next!</i>
Oh, to have been at the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer tryouts on Saturday; what a glorious display of talent that must have been. They're calling it the Beckham Effect, in which 800 hopefuls from as far away as Japan and Australia showed up for a "chance" to play alongside David Beckham this coming MLS ...