lax Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Plaxico Burress And The Hidden Arms Cache
In a daring midnight raid on the home of New York militia leader Plaxico Burress, police officers uncovered a secret "cache" of weapons and ammunition that he was undoubtedly saving for the revolution....

Another Lawsuit For Plaxico Burress
Plaxico Burress is being sued by a woman he rear-ended—with his car, jerks!—back in May, three days after he forgot to pay his insurance premiums. That seems so unlike him, doesn't it? [NY Daily News]...

Plaxico Is Gonna Need A Bigger Boat!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

A Night Out With (A Presumably Unarmed) Plaxico
Here's Plaxico Burress, looking none the worse for wear — but sitting down, of course — at Kevin Powell’s 8th Annual Holiday Party and Clothing Drive at the Madison nightclub on Friday night....

Michigan State's Family Of Criminal Wide Receivers
For a school that hasn't produced anything resembling a professional quarterback since the guy who backed up Johnny Unitas*, Michigan State actually has a pretty impressive roster of former wide receivers....

Plaxico Burress Found Guilty Of Poor Strip Club Etiquette
The NYPD continues to investigate Plaxico Burress and his activities on the night of November 28. It seems that Latin Quarter was not the only establishment graced by his sweatpants that evening....

How To Find A Doctor To Treat Your Secret Bullet Wound
You thought you could get through today without a Plaxico story! Silly! This one is a nice change of pace though, because it's not about tow trucks or angry mayors. It's about a website that allows patients to anonymously rate their doctors and provide little comments about their services—and it jus...

Plaxico Burress: Second Amendment Martyr
Well, here's a new take on the Plaxico situation. "Policy analyst" David Kopel has an editorial in today's Wall Street Journal, arguing that Plaxico Burress has been wronged. Not because he faces three-and-a-half years in Attica for what is essentially a victimless crime. (If you're not counting his...

Plaxico Burress Saga Turning Into Awful Russian Novel
This web of lies that is surrounding Plaxico Burress and his ventilated right thigh just keeps getting wider and stickier. As of this morning, it has now ensnared his wife, two doctors, an entire hospital, half of New York's backfield, and the guy who lights the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center....

In The Club With Antonio Pierce
In case you missed it last night, Burress was suspended by the New York Giants and placed on the non-injury football list, costing him about $27 million in unpaid salary (plus fines.) The fact that he is not on an NFL roster may also make it easier for the prosecutors to hit him with that very large...

Colbert: It's High Time The Government Stays Out Of Our Sweatpants
If you think you've considered all angles of the Plaxico Burress story, think again. Stephen Colbert provides food for thought in this segment from Tuesday's Colbert Report, in which he asks the perfectly reasonable question, why should a consensual act between a man and his semiautomatic Glock hand...

Plaxico Burress Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
The New York Giants waited until the very end of the day to announce that Plaxico Burress will in fact be placed on the "non-football injury list." This is effectively a suspension that removes him from the Giants roster for the remainder of the regular season and the playoffs, and (unlike injured r...

Jon Stewart Reports That Sweatpants Do Not Make A Good Holster
I'm a little surprised that The Daily Show didn't break in with weekend coverage of the Plaxico Burress story; the whole thing seems cobbled by comedy elves just for Jon Stewart. Finally on Monday he was able to jump on it, and while not as good as Dash's efforts on this story, Stewart did not disap...

Breaking!: Plaxico Burress May Have A Sore Leg
An urgent SportsCenter update has just informed the world that Plaxico Burress showed up to work today, less than 24 hours after facing the horrors of central booking at the One Seven. The notorious skel (hey, I've seen NYPD Blue) reported to the Giants training facility this morning, per team rules...

Drew Rosenhaus Is A Master At The Art of Circumlocution
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Gun Safety Tips From Plaxico Burress
If you're looking for a bedtime story for your children tonight, may we suggest the felony criminal complaint of one Plaxico M. Burress. (It needs the initial, don't you think?) It's very short, but also very compelling and there's a life lesson in there for all of us. Namely, put down the wine befo...

Plaxico Burress Takes The Perp Walk
A loyal Deadspin reader who we will call "Ray," waited out the 17th Precinct in Midtown Manhattan today to catch one of the most time-honored traditions in sports—the athlete perp walk. Citizen journalism!...

Plaxico Burress Update: He Still Has A Hole In His Leg
Do you remember a couple of years ago when Dick Cheney shot that guy and the basic facts of story were so utterly ridiculous that all you had to do was say "The Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face" and that counted as both a joke and a serious analysis of the situation? That's...

Is This A Trick Question?
Thanks to reader Pete for the ESPN screen cap - you just made Rick Chandler's day. Yes, it's been quite a weekend for Plaxico Burress. A lot has happened since that fateful moment outside the Latin Quarter on late Friday night, when he told teammate Antonio Pierce, "Lemme meet you inside. I just hav...

Your Plaxico Burress Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound Update
So a few more details seem to be emerging about the bizarre "Plaxico shot himself at a club" story. The New York Post is now reporting that the incident took place just after midnight on Friday at a club called Latin Quarter in Manhattan, while Plax was out on the town with teammate Antonio Pierce. ...