layoffs Page 111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donald Trump Doesn't Know Shit About The Bay Area
Vulgar olive loaf Donald Trump is hitting the campaign trail in California in advance of the state’s June 7 primary. A good way to appeal to your constituents is to show that you’re “one of them” by feigning nominal interest in their sports teams. If you do this, though, you should have a working se...
Whatever Happens, Anderson Varejão Is Going To Be A Dude With A Championship Ring
The Warriors are a ruthlessly efficient team run by a fiery, undersized center who will take out his anger on your dick and balls and a teeny-tiny point guard who carries himself with a non-insistent swagger, and they’re owned by a techno-libertarian pug who named his dogs after Ayn Rand characters....
An Extremely Helpful NBA Finals Preview For Basketball Morons
Hello, casual basketball viewer! The NBA Finals begin tonight, pitting LeBron James’s Cleveland Cavaliers against Ayn Rand’s Golden State Warriors in a rematch of last season’s Finals, which the Warriors won in six games. Here’s what to expect, what to look for, and what to pretend to know about eac...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Logan Couture Accuses Sidney Crosby Of "Cheating" On Faceoffs
So, here’s a subplot to watch as the Finals shift to San Jose. Sharks center Logan Couture on how Sidney Crosby has been so good on faceoffs through the first two games:...
Sidney Crosby's Called Play Worked To Perfection
The Penguins have been the clear better team in both Finals games, and they’re up two games to none. But it doesn’t always work that way; the sample size of a series is too small for puck justice to win out every time, and indeed, both games have been decided by one goal. Individual plays carry the ...
Nifty Little Conor Sheary Goal Gives Penguins 2-0 Finals Lead
The Penguins took a 2-1 overtime win tonight over the San Jose Sharks to hold serve at home and win both games in Pittsburgh. The first half of the game was a scoreless, tense affair that featured a photographer dropping their lens onto the ice and having it batted around like the puck for a second....
Guy Who Promised To Eat His Shirt If The Warriors Won Eats His Shirt
Reddit user PARTYxDIRTYDAN was feeling pretty confident about the Oklahoma City Thunder’s chances against the Golden State Warriors. Even after the Warriors came storming back to win Game 6 on Saturday night, our man was feeling strong enough to promise that he’d eat his shirt if the Warriors went o...
Patrick Marleau Won't Be Disciplined For Hit To Bryan Rust's Head
With his first-period goal, Bryan Rust has now scored six times in this postseason—a Penguins playoff rookie record. It may be a while before his next one. Early in the third, Rust suffered what appeared to be a concussion on this hit from Patrick Marleau....
Steph Curry Remembered Who He Is, And That Was That
The Western Conference finals generated a lot of conversation about tactics and matchups. Lineups were scrutinized, the length and athleticism of the Thunder were deemed A Problem for the Warriors, and everyone wondered how Steph Curry was supposed to regain his balance amid all those long arms and ...
Here's The Punjabi Call Of The Penguins' Game-Winner
Here’s Jim Hughson calling Nick Bonino’s goal with 2:33 left; a little understated. Here’s Doc Emrick; a little more excited, but come on guys, this is a tiebreaking goal late in a Stanley Cup Final game, let’s see some enthusiasm!...
Hot Damn, Sidney Crosby Was Great Last Night
You wouldn’t know it if you only looked at the stat sheet (or, um, if you watched the Warriors game instead), but that might have been one of the finest playoff games of Sidney Crosby’s career....
Let's Appreciate The Cruel Efficiency Of Klay Thompson's Game 6 Three-Point Orgy
Presumably a couple of goatherds in the Eurasian Steppe and perhaps deep-water oil platform welders in the North Sea are still unaware, so let’s start with the obvious: Klay Thompson had himself a night Saturday. The other Golden State guard took over the elimination Game 6 for the Warriors to such ...
The Golden State Warriors Will Win The NBA Finals
Draymond Green is bad. Steph Curry is Chucky Atkins. No matter. Klay Thompson is a blank-eyed three-shooting robot from space and no one will ever stop the Warriors. I’ll die before they lose again. Burn in hell, Oklahoma City Thunder....
The Cavaliers Are Back In The Finals
Cleveland beat Toronto 113-87 tonight. James Jones will make his sixth straight Finals, a momentous achievement. Good for him. ...
Russell Westbrook Tells Us How He Really Feels About Steph Curry's Defense
After last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant were asked if they think Steph Curry is an underrated defender. Westbrook reacted like he’d just been asked if he likes to shop at T.J. Maxx....
The New-Look Penguins Roll Deeper Than Ever
The Penguins are back in the Finals after their 2-1 Game 7 win over Tampa, but they are not the same old Penguins you love to hate. (But you can hate ‘em anyway.)...
The Warriors Aren't Dead Yet
It was simple enough to write the Warriors off when they were down 3-1, on the brink of elimination (only nine teams have ever come back from such a deficit), but they are not dead yet. The Thunder effectively blitzed them into submission in both games in Oklahoma City, and while Russell Westbrook a...
The NHL Threatened To Fine The Lightning If They Didn't Shut Down Their Watch Party
The Tampa Bay Lighting hosted a very well-attended viewing party on Sunday for Game 5 of their Eastern Conference Finals series with Pittsburgh. Thousands went to the public showing (around 8,000 attended an analogous event last year), and the team had planned another official party for tonight’s Ga...
The Thunder Are What's Wrong With The Warriors
So every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns, the Golden State Warriors, the best regular-season NBA team of all time, got duffed by a combined 52 points in two blowout losses in Oklahoma City by the Thunder, previously every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns. This was the ...