layoffs Page 177 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roy Halladay Came Here To Bury, Not Praise The Cardinals
Crossing Broad brings us this tale of how Roy Halladay gives a menacing, literate answer to a reporter's silly softball:...
Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...
They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Freak Out Even Mo-ah, Red Sox Fans: Tampa Bay Just Added The Minor Leagues' Best Pitcher To Its Bullpen
Tampa Bay Rays pitcher Matt Moore was 12-3, with a 1.82 ERA and 210 strikeouts (but only 46 walks) in 155 innings between Double-A and Triple-A this year. He was the runner-up to the Angels' Mike Trout for Baseball America's Minor League Player of the Year. Keith Law ranked him as the best pitching ...
Red Sox Fans, Now's The Time To Freak The Fahhk Out
Lo, while you were watching some kind of football all weekend, this happened: Boston got swept by Tampa Bay. 7-2, 6-5, and 9-1 today. Four of those nine runs came on this BJ Upton atom bomb off Matt Albers. That moves the Rays 3.5 games behind the Sox—three in the loss column—for the AL Wild Card ...
They Rioted In Vancouver Last Night, Eh
Don't ever let it be said that the fine people of Vancouver don't care enough about, oh, whatever, who knows what leads you to burn things after losing Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. You just do....
Brad Marchand Punching Daniel Sedin Like An Inflatable Clown, Set To An Adorable Child's Song
We came across this cute Canucks kid, doing his own version of a Twisted Sister classic. We spruced up the visuals....
Miami Heat Encourages Season Ticket Holders To Actually Be Fans Of Their Team
An anonymous tipster, who swears against having any actual association with the Miami Heat, sent along an email the team had sent out to its season ticket holders this afternoon in preparation for "THE SINGLE BIGGEST HOME GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE FRANCHISE!"...
Charles Barkley: "Miami Has The Worst Fans"
Charles Barkley continued his righteous public crusade against all things Miami Heat today, when he spoke to the "Waddle & Silvy Show" on ESPN 1000. Nothing revolutionary here, just the special vindication that comes with hearing someone with a national audience say things that said audience has b...
JJ Barea's Sprite Ad In Puerto Rico Takes A Shot At El Ego De Kobe
There's a strange inter-endorsement battle taking place across the ocean on a billboard in Puerto Rico, where Sprite spokesman JJ Barea is quoted taking a shot at fellow Sprite spokesman Kobe Bryant. This sign, originally dug up by Bethlehem Shoals, translates to, "Only my ribs hurt, but for Kobe, i...
Boston's Nathan Horton Will Miss Remainder Of Stanley Cup Finals
Horton suffered a "severe concussion" from Aaron Rome's brutal late hit in Game 3 last night, and will be forced to sit for the remainder of the finals. Rome was ejected from the game and will meet with the NHL for a disciplinary hearing today. [SportingNews]...
LeBron James And The Mistaken Case Of The Shrinking Superstar
In last night's post-game press conference, CBS Sports controversialist Gregg Doyel took the mic and asked LeBron James about his fourth quarter performances in the postseason. The fourth quarter, Doyel suggested, is when "superstars become superstars" (a confusing idea of evolution in itself), an...
Mavericks Fan Sitting Behind George Lopez Speaks For All America
Your morning roundup for June 6, the day we learned the value of Bernie Madoff's underwear. H/T @bubbaprog, proprietor of mocksession.com, for accurately predicting what might tickle us this morning (and others for sending in their own grabs)....
Three Penalties Came Out Of This Fight, And Zero Were For The Finger Bite
Your morning roundup for June 2, the day a museum curator finally recognized that one of Flavor Flav's 100+ neck clocks is worthy of celebratory display. Video via Mocksession....
Watch The Five Greatest NBA Finals Moments, As Performed By Legos
Tauntr has done the Lord's work. Now, if only someone could make a Playmobil version of the WNBA Finals' highlights. [Tauntr]...
Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....
The Heat Wax The East, And Deep Down We Love It
Last night, the Miami Heat ended the Eastern Conference Finals with a 19-4 run in under four minutes to beat the Chicago Bulls in five games. If you were fortunate or unfortunate enough — I haven't decided which it is for me — to have watched the entire game, then you would have witnessed equal part...
Nike Reportedly Tells Charles Barkley To Leave LeBron James Alone
Chuck has been saying whatever he damn well wants to say on television for some time now, and he has a special talent for always getting away with it. He's generally loved, and TNT has a different policy for its commentators than, say, ESPN, which would have suspended him approximately 74 times by n...
Joakim Noah Taps Into America's Rage By Calling The Heat "Hollywood As Hell"
Joakim Noah, who sat on the bench for much of the second half as Kurt Thomas tried to be the hero, pulled off the delicate skill of framing an absolute dis within a compliment last night. Kenny, Chuck, and Ernie are almost always this tickled with the world, but with this giggly reaction I get the...
Your Bulls/Heat Game Five Open Thread
If there's an element of Chicago Bulls fandom that thinks tonight could be the season's end, Mare Bear is not among them. And who knows, maybe she's right. Because if the LeBrons have shown the world one thing this offseason, it's that they're a .500 team on the road....