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Raptors apologize for ruining Women's History Month on March 1 [Updated]
Women’s history month is already off to a cringeworthy start in the NBA, with the Toronto Raptors paying tribute (their version of one) to women all over the world. Growing up a huge pro wrestling fan, I’ve seen some bad scripts in my day, but this one takes the cake. Whoever wrote this script needs...
The Toronto Maple Leafs load up for their first-round exit
The Atlantic Division in the NHL was already a hell gauntlet. With the Boston Bruins suddenly turning into a team of frost giants that can skate (then again, it’s probably likely frost giants could always skate, given the conditions in the Jotunheim), it’s only become more so. It’s just three teams ...
Washington Commanders: QB1 — A New Hope
If only Washington could’ve seen its quarterback calamity coming. In early March when the Commanders struck a deal with the Colts to acquire Carson Wentz to be its next starting QB, it was correctly seen as kicking the can down the road. It was even more obvious when the season opener rolled around ...
Even Ryan Leaf has Jets jokes for ‘Mormon Ryan Leaf’
Jets fans have not had a good week. As Al Michaels once so elegantly put it, “They’ve had a worse week than Harvey Weinstein.” ...
Maple Leafs have no bottom
I am as guilty as anyone else of turning the NHL into “How The Maple Leafs Turn.”You spend enough time commenting on how everyone’s always commenting on the Leafs, and well, you’re then part of the problem. But every time the Leafs do something, it’s generally causing some sort of ripple given their...
Carson Wentz, the best a man (Ron Rivera) can get
As the now-Commanders acquired Carson Wentz to be its next quarterback after three decades of unsuccessful options — none lasting more than three seasons as Washington’s primary starter — the fan base just sighed. Wentz was never going to be the guy. He looks like Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf on bac...
The Maple Leafs are going to try again with Matt Murray and that’s great for the rest of us
The NHL season kicks off for real tomorrow night (the two appetizer games in Prague don’t count, especially because they involved the Sharks), or as it’s known for most of the hockey covering world, “Six months of how does this affect the Leafs?” Yep, the sport’s biggest soap opera, the question of ...
Hey, ho, Jack Del Rio’s got to go!
Jackass, I mean Jack Del Rio’s latest bout of idiocy was provoked by actually coaching football. That’s instead of shooting his mouth off about minimizing an insurrection....
I guess I can kiss Nazem Kadri’s ass now
The redemption narrative is the easy one. Everyone loves it, and it usually writes itself, which is why writers will flock to it at every opportunity (especially hockey writers who by the time the Stanley Cup Final is over are barely sober enough to find their hotel room key), and it feels good to a...
The JaMarcus Russell story is much more complicated than you think
JaMarcus Russell really does feel like one word. That’s the way that it goes for athletes like him, Tony Mandrich, Ryan Leaf, Anthony Bennett, and Trent Richardson. The reason for that, only one word comes to mind at the thought of them: Bust....
Oilers enjoy the sounds of silence at expense of Calgary crowd
It’s tempting to try to glean some kind of lesson from big games. We all try to do it, all the time, just as fans. The playoffs are not all that different from the final few episodes of a prestige television series’ season. You know there’s not much left, and you’re looking for any clues you can get...
Leafs on precipice of some kind of history
Nobody ever tweeted about a Florida Panthers playoff series victory before last night, when Carter Verhaeghe, off a pass from Claude Giroux – trade deadline acquisition and bringer of tons of vicarious Panthers fans from Philadelphia – lifted Florida to a 4-3 overtime win over the Capitals, and a 4-...
If the Leafs fall in overtime, do their fans make a sound?
I’m usually a sucker for reaction shots of big public viewings of playoff or World Cup games. Seeing that much unbridled joy amongst a group of strangers makes me believe in a better world or that there is a purpose to this silliness....
Leafs and Lightning are playing the strangest series
In a playoff series, especially one between two very good teams which the Lightning and Maple Leafs are, you expect some swings. No one expected a short series, which means twists and turns as teams exchange wins. Momentum generally swings on the performance level of your goalie the next night, but ...
We are too broken and hopeless to deserve a Maple Leafs-Panthers series
At least for one night, I didn’t manage to motherfuck something. The Toronto Maple Leafs and Florida Panthers put on a hockey game dressed as Calvinball last night, with the Cats getting a 7-6 win in OT. It wasn’t even that simple, if a 7-6 game can ever be simple....
It’s happening to the Maple Leafs again
Even though we Chicagoans don’t get a spring — it’s winter until one day somewhere in May when it’s just suddenly summer and we’re all instantly drunk outside — that doesn’t mean we can’t recognize the signs of spring approaching elsewhere. Sure, we’ve been robbed of one of them in spring training. ...
The hockey men were at it again last night
A few times throughout the season, randomly, there’s a night where it feels like hockey players across the league lose their mind. It’s like a hive mentality, perhaps when the banality of the regular season sinks in or becomes too much to deal with and they have to break out in the only way they kno...
Dallas Stars coach benches rookie before homecoming game in front of friends and family
Twenty-three-year-old Riley Tufte got called up to the Dallas Stars’ roster last week to play for their fourth line. He saw a few minutes of playing time in victories against the Flyers and the Red Wings, but the big game for him was going to be his homecoming to face the Minnesota Wild in his home ...
You’ll never believe this, but everyone’s losing their mud about the Maple Leafs
If you looked up and to the north this morning and thought you could make out a noxious cloud in the distance, don’t worry, it’s just the usual October phenomenon. The NHL season is two weeks old and the Toronto Maple Leafs have not awarded the Stanley Cup due to the majesty of their excellence and ...