leg Page 511 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Of Monday Hangovers, Booty Calls, And The Biggest Upset In College Football History
To put Stanford's win over USC into the proper perspective this morning, you should know that the Stanford Tree woke up with a raging hangover, empty tequila bottles strewn about his apartment and a pair of panties dangling from his upper branches. OK, that just means it's Monday. For real perspect...
Night Falls On Death Valley
The handsome young gentleman above is the biggest freshman to hit Baton Rouge since Glen Davis. His name is Mike VI and tonight the two year-old will make his debut as LSU's official mascot. He's big, he's photogenic, all the women want to pet him, and all the men want to be him. He's Louisiana's an...
For Lou Holtz's Next Trick, He Will Need A Volunteer From The Audience
1:02 — Lou's got a newspaper out. Says the editorial page is for "people who can't think." Considering that Lou's ripping up a USA Today, we'll give him that one uncontested....
Real Backups Frame The Starters
Some backups on minor college football teams are crude in their attempts to earn the starting spot, resorting to stabbing the starters. Jacksonville University running back Cecil Coltrane was far more wily about it....
Florida Fan Motto: Dignity, Always Dignity
You've probably seen this by now, but it can't pass without comment. This was not, in fact, Dan Shanoff. Good guess, though....
Leave Tony Joiner Alone!
Some are calling University of Florida safety Tony Joiner a thief this morning, but we call him hero. All he was trying to do was liberate his girlfriend's car from a towing yard — a noble gesture — and when someone witnessed the maneuver, Joiner even stopped and waited around for the cops. To me th...
The Terrapins Go Round And Round
Maryland's upset of Rutgers over the weekend was almost lost, in the wake of all the other ones. But the star was backup quarterback Chris Turner, who engineered the second-half comeback. And here's something cool: His dad was in RATT!...
What To Do After Your Season Is Ruined
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....
Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Oklahoma
ESPN enjoys to alliterate Saturdays with "S" words — which are words that begin with the letter "S" — to glorify the weekend's slate of intense games. Separation Saturday comes foremost to mind. But with all the upsets that occurred in the Top 25, perhaps yesterday should be known as "Suck It" Satur...
So Much For Michigan Jokes
The Notre Dame jokes have outnumbered the Pam Ward jokes, so you know it's serious in South Bend. But Michigan and Illinois are both 2-0 in the Big Ten. South Carolina and their Smelley Cock may dodge an upset by Mississippi State. And my Air Force over Navy prediction looks completely wrong. Oh, an...
Differences Between New Orelans and Malibu Beach Are Subtle
So here we are at 3:00. LSU is beginning to pull away from Tulane, but still is too long away from a 40-point win. Michigan is coming back against Northwestern, Duke (!) has narrowed the Miami lead to three, and even though Notre Dame is on the board, you Deadspin readers might as well be the Purdue...
Gamecocks Are Aromatically Content With Their Quarterback Situation
Most of you seem to be watching either Michigan-Northwestern or Purdue-Notre Dame. Which makes sense, because, well, that's what's on. Purdue is shutting out UND, while Northwestern holds a 13-7 lead over the Wolverines. In other games: LSU has a mere 10-9 lead over Tulane, Illinois leads Penn State...
It's Funny, Because Erin Andrews Is Hot, Unlike Charlie Weis
I'm not anywhere near a TV right now — Starbucks doesn't believe in college football — but I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that Erin Andrews interviews Charlie Weis on College GameDay. Totally a wild guess. Now, on with Hugh II: And the Nedyssey Continues......
Why Would You Bet On Kids? I'm A Man! I'm 40! Bet On Me!
Unsilent Majority isn't here this weekend to help you bet on college football. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm not here to help you either. But if the following college football bets turn out to be true, consider it dumb luck....
Trojans Fans Have Their Eyes On The Prize
It is good to know that USC fans, with their team continuing to steamroll opponents, taking a moment to support the underdog....
Our Pick For The Worst Football Coach
We've already made fun of Norv Turned today, but, you know, at least he has shown some aptitude as an offensive coordinator in several different locals. If he weren't coaching the Chargers right now, we might not even be thinking about him — even praising him. But there's no excuse for Dave Wannsted...
How To Bring Your Car Back From The Pound
Not much is worse than having your car towed. We once had our old Toyota Camry towed in St. Louis, and we had to take a cab to a lot in which — and we don't want to overstate this — Beezlebub himself required us to give him 200 bucks in cash. Our keys were covered in sulfur. It's not a fun place to ...
OSU Phenoms Love To Make New Friends
When you're a young, flashy, super phenom freshman quarterback, you have all kinds of opportunities to impress your coaches. You can put it extra time at practice. You can spend your school hours studying game film. You can run extra sprints. The world is at your disposal; you never get a second cha...