lessons Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...
If You Taunt Gary One More Time, He's Received Permission From His Wife To Fight You In Real Life
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...
Please Send Us Your Fantasy Football Correspondence With The Biggest Dickheads In Your League
Some of you may be familiar with our "Life Lessons" series, featuring rec-league amateur athletes who take their weekly kickball/softball/frisbee golf games waaay too seriously and, in turn, suck all the joy out of these activities for their teammates. These submissions were phenomenal, but I have a...
Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...
Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
When you don't know all but one of your teammates, and your team has yet to play a game, it's probably best not to try to hijack the process of designing a team t-shirt. If you do try to hijack the design process—"I'd suggest some muted colors, like maroon/beige/forest green/wine"—and people get ann...
Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
This slow-pitch softball meltdown is unique, in that the rec league season hadn't yet begun. They were trying to pick a uniform color scheme, and four different designs for the Westside Swingers jersey were emailed out. A co-manager sets it up for us:...
Man Gets Wasted At Company Softball Game, Emails Company To Brag About DUI And Getting Kicked Out Of A Bar
If you're at a corporate softball outing with alcohol, it's best not to get totally smashed in front of all your co-workers, especially if you have work the next day. If you get totally smashed and have work the next day, it's best to call it a night. If you don't call it a night, it's best to avoid...
Real Estate Broker By Day Is Jerkoff Softball Coach By Night
As summer comes on, co-ed rec leagues across the country are forced to deal with power-hungry coaches who've memorized the inspirational speeches from Miracle and Any Given Sunday. Today's coach has a novel form of encouragement: enforcing a fine for any outs made. Our forwarder notes that this is "...
For Just $400,000, You Can Buy This Portland-Based Co-Ed Kickball Team
From Deadspin's Portland Bureau—tipster Scott—comes a rec league kickball story. Sorry. Keep in mind this Craigslist ad was originally all in caps:...
Reggie Bush Encourages You To "Think Before You Tweet"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Reggie Bush has learned to think two seconds before tweeting 140 characters....
The Kids With The Ole Miss Stolen Laptop Write A Thank You To Whomever
Yesterday, the story of the two Ole Miss students who had their laptops stolen over the weekend only to find them mysteriously returned in shrubbery with a note attached decided to follow-through with a public thank you to the anonymous good samaritan....
Ole Miss Students Have Laptops Stolen, Mom Of Young Thief Writes Cryptic Apology Letter To Them
I don't know what to make of this odd letter that came to us today. The email it was attached to gives some more of the zany details and, if it's true, it's remarkably fucked up....
Retiring Beer League Softball Commish Would Like To Thank Himself For All His Hard Work And Dedication
Lucky for us and our readers, half of all intramural sports participants join up just to get in touch with their inner asshole. I suspect that most of these individuals are tolerable for most of the day, but once they throw on a T-shirt with a number on the back something changes inside them. Like t...
Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...
Surly Flag Football Coach Needs Team To Learn How To "Grab A Fucking Flag And Pull It Off." STAT
I can't get enough of the unhinged fuckery that exists in adult recreational sports. Like this flag football coach, who has had it with his team's uninspired performances right before the playoffs. That can't happen if you play for this coach (of flag football) if you want to be champions (of flag ...
Soccer Rec League Captain Works Harder Than You And Has The Sweaty Email To Prove It
I've noticed most of these rec league emailers possess a trait and that, due to some tic beyond their control, they need to verbalize their small victories in order to make sure people are paying attention. Because at their stations in life, the only worthwhile accolade can come from a teammate sma...
Intense Man Sends Email Apology To Rec Softball Team, Girlfriend For Being Too Intense
Although it isn't kickball and isn't bitchy in the least bit, this next overwrought email is a beauty. This one hails from the Rocky Mountains, where one 35-year-old man part-time subbed in for his his girlfriend's intramural softball team. He always took the games more seriously than most but after...
Another Bitchy Email Over Rec League Kickball Surfaces
This time a lady kickballstress from a Florida league is the one who unloads on her lazy teammates. She doesn't need stats to call out the bumbling stooges on her squad because she can see who's playing "vigilant" defense out there with her own eyes and she'll let them hear it if they're not playing...
Kickball Rec League Captain Sends Out Fantastically Bitchy Email To His Underperforming Team
An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. However, if you have to play with this fun lovin' bunch of sad-sacks it's still inexcusable to go all Earl Weaver ...
Bill Simmons, Malcolm Gladwell, And The Dirty Secret Of The MIT Sports Analytics Conference
The Joke That Started It All Shortly after 9 a.m. Friday, in a big gray conference room in a big gray convention center, 1,500 people—mostly white, mostly male, mostly clad in business suits—roar with laughter. Jeff Van Gundy, the former Knicks and Rockets coach and current ESPN analyst, has just cr...