lies Page 109 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....
Two NL East Ballparks, Exactly Opposite
We were at Shea Stadium last night, wearing our Rick Ankiel jersey, of course, and we noted that we were 100 percent unmolested. We chalk this up partly to the fact that Mets fans are about 60 times nicer to visiting fans than Yankees fans, but mostly, Shea Stadium was a morgue last night. The Cardi...
Reading Phillies Start A Turf War
The Reading Phillies are preparing to replace the playing surface at FirstEnergy Stadium, and of course they're going to remove the old grass as economically as possible: With rock bands and a demolition derby. Hey, the town's only rototiller is rented out that weekend....
The Mets Are Cursed, And We Know Why
We think we've found the problem, Mets' fans. The reason for your team's sudden collapse is not Willie Randolph's mismanagement of the bullpen, not a stretch of 10 errors in two games, not poor clutch hitting. It all comes down to your very own Steve Bartman. Yes, it's Matt Murphy's fault....
Being Scared Of Detection Can Hurt Team Morale
Viva El Birdos brings up a stat we hadn't noticed, and one that kind of blew us away: In the games since Rick Ankiel, Jay Gibbons and Troy Glaus were linked with illegal steroids and/or HGH, their teams have yet to win a game....
Broom For One More
Sentence from the AP story on Philadelphia's 11-10 win over the Mets on Thursday: Fans chanted "Sweep! Sweep! Sweep!'' as they left the ballpark. One man held a broom he sneaked in. What kind of a world is it where a Philadelphia sports fan has to sneak a broom into Citizen's Bank? After winning fou...
It's Nice To See Fighting Back In The Philly Stands
We were talking to resident Deadspin Phillyologist AJ Daulerio a couple of years ago how we feared the new stadiums in Philadelphia, with their shiny whirlgigs and fancy doohickies, would wring some of the life and vigor our of the Philly faithful. Would it make them soft and complacent, too happy ...
Brett Myers Wishes To Clear The Air
Only one apology in this edition of Who's Sorry Now?, if we're not counting Michael Vick. It's Phillies reliever Brett Myers, who expresses regret over calling Philadelphia Inquirer reporter Sam Carchidi "a retard" during a terse exchange Saturday. Myers had given up a couple of home runs against th...
Darren Daulton, The Only Man With The Stones To Speak The Truth
A little part of us have always wondered if Darren Daulton's whole time-traveling, metaphysics schtick is a bit of a intricate prank foisted on us by Dutch and John Kruk. But even if it is, it doesn't matter, because it's endless entertaining regardless....
Cubs Are Iguchied, Drop One Game Back Of Brewers
No first place for you, Chicago Cubs. Oh, why, why? (Bangs head against refrigerator). The Philadelphia Phillies, bolstered just before game time with the addition of pitcher Kyle Lohse from the Reds (6-12, 4.58 ERA, tiny, ill-advised goatee), beat the Cubs 4-1 on Monday. The loss dropped Chicago to...
What Not To Do With A Golf Cart
An absolutely bizarre story from Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia, and proof that you should always be careful with your golf carts....
Phillies Get Started On The Next 10,000
I think we all remember the halcyon days of April 1883; a simpler time, when Chester Allen Arthur was President, the Brooklyn Bridge had just opened and the Philadelphia Phillies franchise had no losses whatsoever....
Phillies Fans Finally Find Their Happy Place
While hanging out at the ole Philly Pants Party this weekend, we were amazed when a man, during our tailgate, walked up and handed us a flier. "Celebrate 10,000!" it said, with the requisite Web site all posted up and ready to go. The guy was wearing a Phillies jersey and, it seemed, in most circums...
It's Philly Pants Party Eve
A reminder to those coming along for the Philadelphia Pants Party tomorrow: Be ready for booze. (And dudes.)...
The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...
Come Join Us At The Philly Pants Party
After a bit of a delay, we have the details for the next Deadspin Pants Party, to be held in Philadelphia on Saturday, July 14. It's all official and stuff: You can buy your tickets right here. Game starts at 3:55. We will be there, as will the esteemed balls of A.J. Daulerio....