lies Page 95 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ricardo Clark's 97th-Minute Goal Gave The U.S. Their First Win Over A South American Team In Five Years
A 13-match winless streak against South American squads came to an end tonight when Ricardo Clark finally found net in the final moments of stoppage time of the United States' friendly against Venezuela....

Ryan Miller: "Nope."
Yeah, it's late, but holy crap did you see the save Ryan Miller laid on Tanner Glass last night? Glass is all like "that's going in" and the Jets are like "yeah!" but Miller is like "oh hell no" and flings that thing out of there, presumably accompanied by a whip-crack sound effect, and Jason Pomi...

Chris Broussard Doesn't Know How To Spell "Memphis"
Prior to ESPN's broadcast of tonight's Celtics-Mavericks matchup, there was an odd whiteboard round-table discussion during which we learned analyst Chris Broussard struggles with the spelling of the Bluff City....

Spanish Goalkeeper Allows Four Goals In Six Minutes, Saves Best Fail For Last
Enaut Zubikarai, the goalkeeper for Real Sociedad, had a very terrible Tuesday evening. Playing in the Copa del Rey's round of 16, Zubikarai allowed Mallorca to score six goals in the first 60 minutes, and Real Sociedad lost, 6-1. This particular moment of utter failure was Mallorca's fourth goal ...
![Oh No, Z-Bo! [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Oh No, Z-Bo! [UPDATE]
Grizzlies star Zach Randolph went down hard in a painful collision with teammate O.J. Mayo in the first quarter of Memphis' matchup tonight with the Bulls in Chicago. Amateur surgeons online are already claiming an ACL tear and that Z-Bo's season is over, though he later headed to the locker room ...

Sam Houston State Held On To Beat Montana, But Not Without Taking Some Licks
Congratulations to Sam Houston State, who again proved worthy of their #1 ranking last night in beating Montana 31-28—earning the Bearkats a trip to the Division I national championship—but it was this play in which the Griz' senior defensive back Houston Roots blew up Bearkats WR Brandon Closner ...

Phillies Sign Dontrelle Willis, Reports Some Guy Who Says He Accidentally Got Forwarded An Email From Ruben Amaro
Ruben Amaro is a ninja—except when his email blasts on free agency signings find their way into the wrong hands. A reader forwards along this missive, purportedly from Ruben Amaro to the front office announcing that the Phillies are signing Dontrelle Willis to a one-year deal pending a physical. Bec...

Montana Celebrated Their FCS Playoff Win Over Northern Iowa By Getting Stabby
Montana's Grizzlies crushed perennial FCS power Northern Iowa last night 48-10 in Missoula last night, and celebrated in a manner you might call.. unique? The Griz will take on the winner of Montana State and top-seeded Sam Houston State....

A Perfectly Designed Killing Machine, The Phillie Phanatic Silently Stalks Its Prey
If you take nothing else from this insane week in sports, let it be the fact that the Phillie Phanatic was born in the Galapagos Islands. MLB has photos of the Philadelphia mascot furbirdthing "returning to his homeland" to terrify wildlife and hawk his book to local children. [MLB.com via The700Lev...

Louisville Players Weren't Prepared For Pitt Because They Were Busy With The New <i>Call Of Duty</i> Game
So, this is the thing: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 is awesome, and everyone rushed out to buy it when it came out on Tuesday. The NCAA probably should have just canceled all games for this weekend, because crucial Big East showdowns feel a lot less crucial when the Russians are invading Lower Man...

Jonathan Papelbon To The Phillies And Ramon Santiago To The Pirates, And Other Engrossing Hot Stove News
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!!...

The NY Times Reports On A National Crisis: NFL Games Delaying The Start Of <em>The Good Wife</em> On CBS
It seems overwhelmingly likely, since you are reading a fine sports blog like this one, that you prefer the riveting, mature drama of CBS's The Good Wife to the NFL. Oh, there is television, and then there is Josh Charles and Julianna Margulies navigating the remains of Margulies' broken marriage. T...

The Rangers Made The Most Out Of Losing Cliff Lee, And So Have Their Fans
Your morning roundup for Oct. 26, the day we swear she turned into a donkey. Photo via Midwest Sports Fans. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Presenting Your Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter Photoshop Roundup
The above photo is of Ryan Howard, and it was taken at a suburban Philly Whole Foods on the day after the Phillies were knocked out of the National League playoffs by the Cardinals. The game ended with Howard recording the final out and tearing his Achilles in the process, which explains the scoote...

Memphis Could Sue The NBA If It Doesn't Get Its Shit Together
In America, if you're not getting what you need quickly enough, there is always a simple back-up plan available: go to court, tie everything up in paperwork and bureaucracy, and end up with a settlement. It's almost one of our golden rules. And so it's almost a surprise that, with lockouts straining...

We're Getting Closer To An Actually Useful Goalie Statistic
You weren't chased away by a post dealing with hockey and Sabermetrics? Good for you! Then you've probably watched enough icepuck to realize that save percentage is a pretty weak measure of a goalie's ability. All shots are not created equal—a slapper from between the circles is going to be harder t...

Photoshop Contest: Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter
The internet has been passing around this photo of Ryan Howard for several days, or at least since it was discovered after being tweeted by a fan who snapped it at a suburban Philly Whole Foods. It is at once sadly and hilariously emblematic of the sudden conclusion to the Phillies' season....

This Year, Ryan Howard's Season-Ending At-Bat Resulted In Physical Injury
Your morning roundup for Oct. 8, the day we learn that it's best just to plead guilty when caught handing out semen-tainted yogurt at the market. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

SprtsCntr: The Squirrel Heard 'Round The World
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Hey Look, A Squirrel Ran Onto The Field During The Phillies/Cardinals Game
Bottom of the fifth. Cardinals second baseman Skip Schumaker seemed to have an issue with a muscle in his ass or upper leg. Trainer came out. All seemed fine....