life-lessons Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Buy All The Pies At Burger King To Spite A Child, You Asshole
By now you likely have encountered this thing, currently wending its way across the internet. In short, the story goes that the guy—a redditor (of course) known as thr111—spited the whiny, out-of-control child and distracted, defensive mother behind him in line at Burger King by purchasing every ...
Roddy White Finally Made Good On That Twitter Bet
Back in March, Falcons wide receiver Roddy White got on Twitter and made a foolish bet with a guy named Brian Hoyt on the Duke-Mercer game. White told Hoyt that he'd give him Falcons season tickets if Mercer beat Duke. Of course, Mercer went on to win. Oops....
Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross
Many people like to drink coconut water. Some like to drink it because they believe it contains miraculous health-chemicals. Others like to drink it because they believe it tastes good. Both of these groups are incorrect....
Guy Doesn't Pay World Cup Pool Entry Fee, Tries To Claim Prize Anyway
There are rules we must all adhere to in order to maintain a functional society. Foremost among them is this: If you enter a fantasy league/pick 'em group/tournament pool, you must pay up before it starts, or at the very least promise to pay at the next available opportunity, or you do not get to cl...
Helpful Advice From Gabe Kapler: Jerk Off With Coconut Oil
Former MLB outfielder and current Fox Sports 1 talking head Gabe Kapler is a man who possesses a lot of knowledge on how to live a healthy lifestyle, knowledge which he often dispenses on his personal blog, Kaplifestyle.com. A recent post about the many uses for coconut oil contains some of Kapler's...
Do Not Wear A Suit With Shorts
Men's shorts are OK. (Women's shorts are also OK, but they are much more obviously OK, and not what we are talking about.) Summers get hot around this part of the solar system; why swaddle those vast swaths of leg-skin behind fabric when you could use them, sensibly, to radiate your body's interna...
Youth Flag Football Admin Claims Commish Spent League Fees On "Pussy"
Below you'll find an email from one of the administrators of an Atlanta-area youth flag football league sponsored by the NFL. Sent to a number of league parents, it contains a whole host of bizarre accusations against the commissioner. One of those parents shared it with us. Now we share it with you...
Tony La Russa Warns Grads About The Machines During Commencement Speech
Tony La Russa gave the commencement speech at Washington University last week. It was, like most commencement speeches, sort of rambly and boring. But there was one La Russian moment that caught our attention, in which the old manager started going on about Styx, the machines, and sabermetrics....
Weddings Are Not Expensive. Whims Are.
Here are the things a wedding requires:...
Adult Kickball Team Email: Please Don't Fuck Your Teammates Yet
The weather's getting warmer, which means it's time for America's favorite pastime. That's right: adult kickball....
Never Buy New Sneakers In March. Never.
These are my new shoes. I have had them for, oh, a little longer than a week. They are muddy shit, now. I tell myself that I will clean them later, but we all know that even if that does happen—even if I do not forget; even if I am not overwhelmed by the obvious futility of such an enterprise—"cl...
Delusional Rec-League Softball Coach Has 11 Insane Questions For You
Reader Jon almost joined a rec softball league "run by the world's biggest asshole." Let's have a look at Coach Dave's questionnaire for all incoming recruits, shall we?...
Which KNBR Employee Is Downloading Huge Amounts Of Porn At Work?
A tipster just sent us a picture of the above sign, which was recently posted in the KNBR sports radio studio in San Francisco. That's the same radio station that employs Damon Bruce, and is essentially the west coast's answer to WEEI. So, really, it's not all that surprising that such a warning nee...
Angry Dad Is Very Upset About How Local Swim Team Is Being Run
Everyone knows that hockey dads and football dads and lacrosse dads are crazy, but did you know that swimming dads can be just as nuts? They can! A tipster just forwarded us the following email, which was sent by one angry parent to the other members of his kid's swim team board (names have been red...
"No Other Men In It, Just Me": A Letter From A Porn Hopeful
Yesterday we shared an adorable letter from a fan of the New Orleans Pelicans, begging the team to give him a chance and a million-dollar contract. Reader Daniel used to work at an adult video company, and dug up a letter from one of the company's biggest fans, begging for a role in porn....
![The Greatest Yankees Meltdown Ever Captured On Tape [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The Greatest Yankees Meltdown Ever Captured On Tape [NSFW]
Here's a cool old relic from the last great era of Yankees dysfunction. It's a clip of Hall of Fame reliever Goose Gossage losing his shit in front of the New York media in 1982—the beginning of a miserable, drawn-out decade for the organization, when all that '70s glory turned to pinstriped shit....
"Treasonous" Kickball Player Sick Of Teammates That Want To Have Fun
It's time for another Overwrought Rec League Email Chain, this time from the wonderful world of kickball. And kickball...is serious business....
Richard Sherman's Email To His Stanford Dorm Is Priceless
We have a very special set of overwrought emails today, as this particular collection of haughtily typed words features a celebrity guest: Seahawks defensive back Richard Sherman! What follows is a conversation that took place on a Stanford dormitory listserv in 2007. Our tipster sets the scene:...
Woman Sobs And Rants After Not Getting Autographs At Redskins Camp
Oh, dear. This is just so very sad. Crying Giants fan, you may have met your match. ...
Homeowners’ Email Chain Goes From Snippy To Crazy In A Hurry
Oh look, we've got more homeowners' association members sending each other overwrought emails. Whereas our last installment dealt with the scourge of unsightly dog poop, today's dive into suburban madness brings something much more sinister to light: people parking across the street from other peopl...