life-lessons Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever
If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one br...
Member Of Prestigious Golf Club Scolds Others For Pissing On The Greens, Cavorting In The Nude, Picking Up A Golf Ball With "Naked Butt Cheeks," And Much More
Piedmont Driving Club is synonymous with one word: prestige. Well, as of a few minutes ago it was, anyway. Recently, one aggrieved member wrote a letter to the club's president, John R. Holder, detailing the predominantly naked and drunken tomfoolery at a members golf tournament. You can find that l...
"Some People Have To Be Protected Against Themselves": Hockey League Pleads With Players To Stop Boozing During Games
Today's overwrought rec league email carries a tinge of desperation. Coming to us from an adult hockey league in the Chicago suburbs, it's a cry in the dark from an overworked, under-appreciated league director, who wonders why a bunch of grown men can't get together to play hockey without drinking ...
A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...
JV Football Coach Suspended For Making Players Lie On Graves To Learn About Persistence And Rebirth
"The sources said [coach Jim] Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to pull over near the cemetery. He then asked the roughly two dozen players to get out and lay on the graves. The players rested there for several minutes while Marsh preached about the importance ...
More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...
If You Taunt Gary One More Time, He's Received Permission From His Wife To Fight You In Real Life
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...
Please Send Us Your Fantasy Football Correspondence With The Biggest Dickheads In Your League
Some of you may be familiar with our "Life Lessons" series, featuring rec-league amateur athletes who take their weekly kickball/softball/frisbee golf games waaay too seriously and, in turn, suck all the joy out of these activities for their teammates. These submissions were phenomenal, but I have a...
Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...
Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
When you don't know all but one of your teammates, and your team has yet to play a game, it's probably best not to try to hijack the process of designing a team t-shirt. If you do try to hijack the design process—"I'd suggest some muted colors, like maroon/beige/forest green/wine"—and people get ann...
Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
This slow-pitch softball meltdown is unique, in that the rec league season hadn't yet begun. They were trying to pick a uniform color scheme, and four different designs for the Westside Swingers jersey were emailed out. A co-manager sets it up for us:...
Man Gets Wasted At Company Softball Game, Emails Company To Brag About DUI And Getting Kicked Out Of A Bar
If you're at a corporate softball outing with alcohol, it's best not to get totally smashed in front of all your co-workers, especially if you have work the next day. If you get totally smashed and have work the next day, it's best to call it a night. If you don't call it a night, it's best to avoid...
Real Estate Broker By Day Is Jerkoff Softball Coach By Night
As summer comes on, co-ed rec leagues across the country are forced to deal with power-hungry coaches who've memorized the inspirational speeches from Miracle and Any Given Sunday. Today's coach has a novel form of encouragement: enforcing a fine for any outs made. Our forwarder notes that this is "...
For Just $400,000, You Can Buy This Portland-Based Co-Ed Kickball Team
From Deadspin's Portland Bureau—tipster Scott—comes a rec league kickball story. Sorry. Keep in mind this Craigslist ad was originally all in caps:...
Reggie Bush Encourages You To "Think Before You Tweet"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Reggie Bush has learned to think two seconds before tweeting 140 characters....
The Kids With The Ole Miss Stolen Laptop Write A Thank You To Whomever
Yesterday, the story of the two Ole Miss students who had their laptops stolen over the weekend only to find them mysteriously returned in shrubbery with a note attached decided to follow-through with a public thank you to the anonymous good samaritan....
Ole Miss Students Have Laptops Stolen, Mom Of Young Thief Writes Cryptic Apology Letter To Them
I don't know what to make of this odd letter that came to us today. The email it was attached to gives some more of the zany details and, if it's true, it's remarkably fucked up....
Retiring Beer League Softball Commish Would Like To Thank Himself For All His Hard Work And Dedication
Lucky for us and our readers, half of all intramural sports participants join up just to get in touch with their inner asshole. I suspect that most of these individuals are tolerable for most of the day, but once they throw on a T-shirt with a number on the back something changes inside them. Like t...
Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...
Surly Flag Football Coach Needs Team To Learn How To "Grab A Fucking Flag And Pull It Off." STAT
I can't get enough of the unhinged fuckery that exists in adult recreational sports. Like this flag football coach, who has had it with his team's uninspired performances right before the playoffs. That can't happen if you play for this coach (of flag football) if you want to be champions (of flag ...