life Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Texas A&M Regent Who Called For Kevin Sumlin's Firing Spent $600K On A Bigass Tank
Remember Tony Buzbee, the lawyer on the Texas A&M Board of Regents who recently called for Kevin Sumlin to be fired? He just blew a “little over $600,000" on an M4 Sherman tank that was used during World War II....
So Your Spouse Wants To Bring Sushi Casserole To The Party
What do you do if your spouse, an amateur and not very skilled cook, makes a disgusting and possibly lethal “sushi casserole” and sets his or her heart on bringing it to and serving it at a large, fancy social event, where it almost certainly will meet with humiliating public rejection?...
Here’s Ron Jaworski Getting Red In The Face Over Arena Football League TV Ratings
The Soul won its second consecutive Arena Bowl on Sunday, and today the city of Philadelphia held a celebration for the champs. Sure, the Soul won a league that currently includes just five teams. But who cares! Part-owner Cosmo DeNicola said at today’s rally that Philadelphia is now “Titletown U.S....
Pick Up The Stanley Cup Before Someone Tells You Not To
I got paired up with Jim on senior retreat. Holy Ghost Prep, our high school in suburban Philadelphia, had shipped 36 of us to Delaware for spiritual guidance and sleep deprivation. On the last day, we had an activity where we had to make a gift for another person. Jim was a big hockey fan and playe...
Matt McGloin’s Brother Calls One Eagles Beat Writer Fat, Another Poor
When the Eagles pulled Carson Wentz in last night’s preseason game, Philly fans did what they do best: Booed. It wasn’t anything in particular against the team’s current backup, Matt McGloin. Fans just wanted to see Wentz....
Pfft, "Solar Eclipse," Big Deal
Apparently many of the youths are very excited about a “solar eclipse” today. The moon’s transit will carry it directly between the sun and the earth in the skies over the United States, where, along a certain corridor of geography, it will obscure the sun’s rays completely for a little while. I sup...
Youths Could Face Jail Time After Climbing Golden Gate Bridge Then Bragging About It
If you’re going to climb the Golden Gate Bridge and perform a series of acrobatics that would make the Grim Reaper shit his pants, don’t say anything about it online or post a video of your exploits in which your face is clearly visible. Peter “Teatime” Kurer and Tommy Rector did not follow this adv...
Yankees Fans Enjoy Subway Ride [NSFW]
Being a sports fan isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and when the team you root for fails to give you the joy and pleasure you’re after, sometimes you have to look for alternate avenues for good sensations. Hence these two Yankees fans coming together in sexual congress on the 5 train after the Yanks...
Cumin Is Good
Many people are saying, “Huh. Cumin. I do not think I have any particularly strong good or bad feelings about that spice.” They can go to hell! Cumin is not a spice for mild opinions. It is a fuckin’ great spice....
Man Eats Shit At Idiot Contest
The Three Rivers Regatta, a three-day aquatics extravaganza, took place in Pittsburgh over the weekend. Over 600,000 people attended and hundreds of rowdy youths reportedly got into fights, but more importantly, the boldest and dumbest tried to fly during Saturday’s Flugtag, a modern-day Franz Reich...
Good News: This Avocado-Wielding Bodega Assailant Is Actually Not An Independent-League Baseball Player
If you enjoy news about avocados, daily life in the Bronx, or unorthodox objects used as weaponry—or any combination of the above—you’re likely familiar with the video clip below. It shows two men attacking a bodega worker by throwing avocados at him, breaking his jaw and leaving him with cuts acros...
Motodoping Italian Cyclist Gives Wild Interview, Says Haters Are Jealous Because He's Rich
Over the weekend, Italian officials popped a 53-year-old masters rider for racing with a hidden motor in his bicycle. Race organizers got a tip that the third-place rider at a race in Brescia on Saturday had been cheating and when they scanned his bike, they saw what looked like “a fire” in the seat...
Things Anthony Scaramucci Said In The Interview Where He Talked About Steve Bannon Sucking His Own Cock, Ranked<em></em>
Anthony Scaramucci, a finance guy or something who doesn’t seem to understand anything about being a press flack, called the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza last night and ethered every one of his White House enemies in one of the greatest and most surreal interviews in American political history. Here are ...
Young Fan Left Miserable After Father's Valiant Effort To Catch Foul Ball Falls Short
A young Rangers fan learned the hard way tonight that parents, no matter how fierce their love and how hard they may try, are not perfect. The moment in question here—his father’s noble but unsuccessful attempt to get him a foul ball. ...
Guy With Garbage Can Upsets Guy With Machete In Street Fight
The Deadspin staff spent about half an hour analyzing this street fight, which DNAinfo has generously gifted to the world. The fight happened at 6:50 a.m. today on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, and it has a stunning outcome....
Records Show How Miami Con Man Allegedly Tricked NBA Stars Out Of Free Shoes
Miami con man Justin Jackson and his wife Angel Agarrat were booked into Miami-Dade County jail this afternoon for the second time in three months on felony fraud charges. Jackson has a history of posing as the manager of famous artists and using his pretend platform to extract goods and favors from...
Cowboys Receiver's Missing Dog Returned By Rapper Boogotti Kasino
Yesterday, Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead alerted the world to the fact that his adorable dog, Blitz, had been stolen from his home and was being held for ransom. Blitz was safely returned last night, but not before falling into the hands of a local rapper named Boogotti Kasino, who vehementl...
White Sox Announcer: "We Have No Budget Left For The Second Half Of The Season"
While discussing how he bribed people to say nice things to color man Steve Stone on his birthday during the top of the first inning of tonight’s tilt against the Seattle Mariners, Chicago White Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti admitted that the team had run out of money for the announcing team to...
White Sox Trade Ace José Quintana To—Oh Fucking Come On
The Chicago White Sox announced today that they have traded 28-year-old ace pitcher José Quintana to the fucking Chicago Cubs, who are basically worse than the St. Louis Cardinals at this point....
Get A Stainless Steel Pan
In the abstract—which is to say, if you were an extremely rich person with an army of servants to attend to all but those parts of human life you chose to handle yourself, and therefore did not have to worry about things like cleaning and upkeep—the best kind of pan would be a well-seasoned cast iro...