life Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ivan Johnson Got Banned For Life From Playing Basketball In Yet Another Country
Ivan Johnson, former Hawks power forward and one of the most intimidating NBA players in recent memory, was banned from the Phillipine Basketball Association for life this morning for, “addressing the Commissioner with profanities and showing utter disrespect for authority.” ...
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Goofball Dancing Behind Brian Baldinger Is The Real Super Bowl MVP
NFL Network’s hours upon days upon weeks of Super Bowl coverage have been brain-choking, though we can’t deny that the meaningless words being spewed from the channel’s personalities are drawing viewers. But, really, how much more is there to be said about tomorrow’s game? Thankfully, this young cha...
Brawl Breaks Out At The Wing Bowl
The Wing Bowl, Philadelphia’s annual chicken wing eating contest which you should probably avoid at all costs, happened today at Wells Fargo Center. (Molly Schuyler won by eating 429 wings.) There was also a fight in the stands, presumably over something very important....
Do's And Don'ts Of Blizzard Survival, From A Snowed-In Dumbass
The thing to know is, we are still snowed in. The first flakes came down around lunchtime on Friday; the last, late on Saturday night. It’s Tuesday now, and we’re still snowed in. My kids can’t even remember what it’s like to interact with other humans....
Panthers Fan Falling Out Of The Stands, In Extreme Slow Motion
Well done, sir. Your celebration of a Panthers touchdown may have busted your neck, but it succeeded in making millions bust their guts laughing....
![We Can't Read Your Sign, Dickhead [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/detvof3sshrakp2ndoii.gif)
We Can't Read Your Sign, Dickhead [UPDATE]
Here’s some Jersey shithead with an illegible sign making an ass out of himself behind the Monmouth Co. sheriff. Hey, dickhead, you’re holding a white sign in the middle of a snowstorm. Nobody can read your fuckin’ sign. If you had a brain in your skull, you’d be inside....
David Blatt Was In Way Over His Head
Right as the news broke that the Cavaliers had fired David Blatt, Brian Windhorst tweeted the funniest basketball tweet of 2016....
Report: Cavaliers Fire David Blatt
The Cleveland Cavaliers have fired head coach David Blatt, according to Adrian Wojnarowski....
Cop Responds To Noise Complaint Of Kids Playing Basketball By Lowering Rim And Dunking On Them
Some no-fun-haver called in a noise complaint against these kids in Gainesville, Fl. for having the audacity—the nerve—to play basketball loudly in what appears to be the damn woods, or somewhere close to the woods anyway....
Man Attempts To Squat 855 Pounds, Fails
This video comes with a pretty long lead up to the climax, but I’m urging you to watch the whole thing from beginning to end. You’ll appreciate the payoff that much more if you do....
How Wile E. Coyote Explains The World
A joke has structure. It has a central rule. Setup, punchline. The setup produces a tensed, expectant state; the punchline resolves the tension with a surprise. If the elements of the joke are not arranged into a setup and a punchline, it is not a joke. It is just a statement....
This Alabama Fan Is On His 18th Beer
♫ 18 beers, 18 beers, tied with Clemson at half & he’s had 18 beers ♫...
This Is One Dedicated Idiot On The Field
Yesterday’s FA Cup match between Eastleigh and Bolton featured a pitch invader on a mission—one that, despite his obvious interference, didn’t manage to stop play. The referee gave the advantage, and the Idiot On The Field fell on his ass....
How To Move In With Your Significant Other
Forget your list of righteous resolutions for the new year—the best self-improvement commitment you can make is to take the plunge and finally move in with your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you do this right, you’ll achieve a transcendental state of domesticated bliss, where every day is warm and cos...
Those Jamokes In Oregon Aren't Terrorists, They're Jamokes
The American political lexicon has an appropriate word for the armed men conspicuously loitering in part of Oregon’s Malheur National Wildlife Refuge instead of going home. It is not terrorist or militia or occupation or revolution or movement or front or army or resistance. The word is jamoke. “Get...
David Moyes Sneaks Excuses For His Own Failure Into Comments Backing Louis van Gaal
When a team finds itself mired in a bog of bad results it can’t work its way out of, it’s perfectly common for illustrious figures from the club’s past to pop up offering words of support and encouragement to the current players and staff. What isn’t so common is a less-than-illustrious former manag...
Giants Fans Get Into A Fight In Stadium Bathroom
The Giants are getting the shit kicked out of them by the Panthers, who will almost certainly move to 13-1. Fans are apparently pissed off, and a few got into a fight in the bathroom of MetLife Stadium....
In A Slushie Cup, A Rat
A Chicago-based challenger to Pizza Rat was tragically snuffed out before it could even garner any fame on the internet. Rest in peace, Slushie Rat. If only you hadn’t scrabbled for whatever substance was at the bottom of that plastic cup....