life Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Postgame Dispute Results In One Golfer Headbutting Another Golfer Into A Window
Anyone who plays a sport at any level usually has the fire of a competitive spirit constantly burning inside of them. Sometimes it can be used as motivation to propel you to victory, other times it can manifest itself into a type of anger that causes you to headbutt another person through a window. ...

The Royal Shrovetide Football Game Is A Very Dumb, Very English, And Very Good Sport
For centuries, the citizens of Ashbourne, England have annually contested the Royal Shrovetide Football match, a sprawling, chaotic wrestling match masquerading as a soccer game. The thicket of ruddy blokes you see up top there are members of two teams: the Down’ards and the Up’ards, thus named for ...

What Is The Optimum Office Food?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about basketball, Joe Lunardi sucking, conductors, vengeance, and more....

What Is The Optimum Office Food?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about basketball, Joe Lunardi sucking, conductors, vengeance, and more....

Philadelphians On The Street React To The Phillies Signing Bryce Harper
When news broke Thursday that the Phillies had signed Bryce Harper, it came as a shock. Not that he came to Philadelphia, but that he actually signed somewhere....

Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence Gets Decidedly Unchill During Intramural Basketball Game
The effort-to-reward ratio for intramural sports is woefully off and will always be this way. There’s never anything more valuable than a free T-shirt on the line, and yet every game is filled with econ majors who take things far too seriously. In a recent intramural hoops game, one player managed t...

Youth Wrestling Tournament Quickly Turns Into Parent Fighting Tournament
A Feb. 3 wrestling tournament for kids in Kimberly, Wisconsin devolved into quite the scrap after some adults forgot that their children were the ones supposed to be sparring on the mat....

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Plank Fight
Sun Tzu probably had some quote about using the weapons you have available to you to defeat your opponent on the battlefield or whatever, and while I don’t know about any of that apocryphal bullshit, I can say with 100 percent certainty that these two ruddy English lads embody the spirit of resource...

A Transformer Exploded In New York And The Videos Rule Extremely Hard
I am told this spectacular light show over New York City tonight was caused by a transformer explosion at a power station in Queens, and not by a massive meteor burning up in the atmosphere, nor by slimy space aliens parking their city-sized mothership over the city and preparing the invasion. One t...

An NBA Trade Just Fell Apart Because Someone Confused Two Guys Named Brooks
I am, admittedly, not the typical source of NBA information at Deadspin, let alone in the sports journalism universe writ large. But it’s Friday, I live on the West Coast, I’m home sick with a sinus infection, and my husband is a huge Phoenix Suns fan. I’ve been hearing about this all night. Also, a...

David Moyes Is The Most Interested Man In The World
Southampton fired Mark Hughes today after finally realizing what was evident to just about everyone the day he got the manager position there, which is that things were almost certainly not going to work out. And like your unemployed cousin who desperately needs a job so he can finally move out of y...

Report: School Officials Determine High School Football Players Caught Running Nude With An Oreo Between Their Ass Cheeks Were Not Hazed
School officials from Byron High School determined that the 10 football players who participated in an “Oreo Run” was not a result of team hazing, according to the Rockford Register Star. After nearly 30 interviews with coaches and players, along with some film analysis, they concluded that the play...

Do Not Blot Out The Sun
Probably nothing anyone does at this point stands more than a remote chance of averting any but the very most extreme, apocalyptic tolls humanity’s trashing of the planet could inflict on the global ecosystem and human society within the next few decades. The time when people could have addressed th...

Irish Soccer Team Caught Faking The Death Of Their Own Player To Get Out Of A Game
Ballybrack FC—a real team, I swear—were strongly condemned by the Leinster Senior League—again, a real league of lower-tier Irish soccer clubs—after they committed the grave sin of lying about the death of one of their players, possibly in order to get out of a game this weekend....

Gritty Upstaged The Unveiling Of Yet Another New Philadelphia Mascot
How do you unveil a mascot just a little more than a month after the biggest mascot launch in world history? How do you do it when you’re a smaller team in the same city? Well, you invite all of the city’s mascots and throw a mascot party, of course....

Help! My Boss Just Followed Me On Twitter
Today, we’re talking about T-shirts, gorilla suits, flowers, peeing, and more....

Teen Baked Her Grandpa's Ashes Into Sugar Cookies, Fed Them To Peers
Andy Knox, a student at Da Vinci Charter Academy in California, told KRCA-TV how he came across the dead grandpa cookies. “Two weeks ago, I was just about to go into my sixth-period class, environmental science, and a girl who was also in the class stopped me and asked me if I wanted a cookie. And I...

Former NFL Linebacker's Solution For The Struggling Eagles: Hump Less
The Eagles are 2-3, but fortunately for them, their division sucks. Former NFL linebacker and Philly news anchor Garry Cobb has a suggestion to get the team back on track: Don’t let the players fuck....

Let's Remember Some Guys: Treasure Trove Guys Volume IV
What a world, what a world. How, you might wonder, is someone to live in a world like this one, all crumbling and cruel and forsaken and loud? It’s a great question and honestly buddy I’ve got nothing for you there. But I can tell you this much: if you have in your possession a box full of random ol...
![These Massholes Found The Missing Red Sox Division Banner, And They're Willing To Negotiate [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/iambxpocn4wuhwqt9xez.jpg)
These Massholes Found The Missing Red Sox Division Banner, And They're Willing To Negotiate [Update]
Practically every stereotype of a New England sports fan is on display in this astounding Boston Globe video accompanying the story of Louie Iacuzzi of Malden—of course—who with his buddy found the Red Sox’s 2018 division title banner on the highway and now want a reward for its return....