life Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Back On The Pony: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
I'm saying I got back on the pony because calling what I did "getting back on the horse" is an insult to horses. Anyway, there is a mini-playlist that we will get to for your enjoyment and then next week, I am back on the horse, for real. We don't need this turning into Relapsing Fatass Soundtrack. ...

Federer Joins Twitter, Promptly Asked About Eating Chocolate Off Tits
So, Roger Federer just joined Twitter. Hooray, right?...

How To Grill Cheeseburgers And Win Your Memorial Day Cookout
So you've got your grand Memorial Day weekend feast all planned, your spread of exotic, expensive victuals purchased and prepped and ready to be grilled and smoked and barbecued and so on. Brined chicken breasts and home-ground-spice-rubbed pork ribs and organic farm-raised fair-trade cockles; a ra...

This Is The Story Of The Shittiest Roommate Ever
Everything about this story stinks like shit....

Feedbag: What The Hell Do I Do With This Arm Roast?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected]. Al...

Spurs Beat Grizzlies; All Anyone Cares About Is "We Did It" Guy
Memphis came back from a mighty deficit to force overtime in San Antonio (thanks to a questionable late flagrant foul call) but couldn't pull out the victory. It led one fan nearby to issue quite the verbal ejaculation. Deadspin I-Team, assemble....

Help! How Do I Get That Old-Man-Pee Smell Out Of My Bathroom?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

How To Give A Best Man Toast That Doesn't Suck
We got this email the other day from reader Alex. It's the kind of email we get a lot round these parts:...

Fan Gets Ejected From Tropicana Field For Urinating In The Stands
Last night's series-ending Red Sox-Rays bout in St. Pete featured a literal "wicked pissah," a man whom I watched with my own eyes pee in the stands and be escorted out of the stadium for the evil act of public micturition....

Life Saver
Over at Sports on Earth, Peter Richmond writes about how Chuck Muncie saved his life:...

I Can't Stop Watching This Dude Eat Cotton Candy In Reverse
[Reddit, via Bob's Blitz]...
![Michigan State Signee Turns Down Football For Rap Career [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Michigan State Signee Turns Down Football For Rap Career [UPDATE]
This is Jay Harris. He's one of the top high school wide receiver prospects out of Pennsylvania this year. He's 5-foot-11, 170 pounds, and until last month, was headed to Michigan State University this fall on a football scholarship after graduating Downingtown East High School. Not anymore. Instead...

Sometimes You Have To Shit In A Dunkin' Donuts
It is done. I ran a half-marathon, front-to-back, without having to stop to walk. I did have to stop to shit, though. Here's a Spotify playlist that helped me through it. ...

Here's How To Make A Delicious Mother's Day Brunch, You Lousy Ingrates
That Mother's Day is little more than a gussied-up mid-spring sales event—Sweeps Week for florists—needn't be argued at any great length. Still, buncha bullshit though it might be, the holiday nevertheless serves as an occasion to appreciate and celebrate one of the true and truly wonderful pillars...

Astros Fan Behind Home Plate Really Wants You To See His Fake Dong
We pride ourselves on vigilance to behind-the-plate fan frivolity, what with jackasses pantomiming blowjobs at Wrigley or dudes outfitting themselves in Marlins gear during non-Marlins postseason games. So when this fan at last night's Angels-Astros game kept standing up to show off his fake dong, ...

Feedbag: How Do I Cook A Decent Steak Filet At Home?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected]. Al...

Dolphins Can't Get Public Funding, So They Won't Fix Up Their Stadium
There will be no renovation for Sun Life Stadium, after the Florida legislature declined to vote on a bill that would have cleared the way for nearly $400 million in taxpayer money. But if a stadium upgrade is so important, couldn't the Dolphins just pay for it themselves? "We have no intention of ...

Fart Interrupts Snooker World Championship Semifinal
Ronnie O'Sullivan is en route to his fifth snooker world championship title, but his win over Judd Trump in the semifinal was a real stinker....

It Is Race Day And I Am The Worst: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
I screwed up big time. I skipped my final long run before the race and barely ran all week. I am a real bastard sometimes. What follows is the playlist I would have listened to, had I not been so characteristically lazy and good-for-nothing. Here's a Spotify version for you, if you are into sonic re...
